One Hour
by Sly Roxx
Summary: Bella had one more hour with Edward before he left and got the closure she needed. Jasper feels their constant pain. A fire causes the Swans to stay with the Blacks. Bella forgives Edward too quickly in most stories,like nothing ever happened. Well,it did
1. Prologue: One Hour

**AuthorsNote:**** This takes place in the forest after Edward tells Bella he doesn't love her. She's desperate for more time with him. We all know Edward was lying, so he doesn't talk much in this because anything he says might ruin the lie. I have written my own stories before, and I'm not really a fanfic kinda person. I had no choice, I had an idea and I doubt i could tell anyone to write for me so I just did it myself. It was fun.** **I hope no one was OOC. Oh yeah, this book is Stephenie Meyers'.**

"One hour." My voice wavered into an almost whisper.

"Excuse me?" Edwards tone was distant, but his golden eyes did not leave mine. I could see my own pain reflecting back at me in his blank stare.

"Just one hour. Please?" Tears began welling up, but I quickly blinked them away so I could keep looking at his beautiful face without my vision getting blurred. He was leaving me. He was never going to _bother _me again and there was nothing I could do about it. He didn't want me. I knew it was selfish, but I would do all I could to spend as much time with him as possible. '_It cant be over...not yet!'_ was I all could think to myself.

I barely managed to push back thoughts of life without him as a dry sob escaped from my throat. I hugged my chest tightly so he wouldn't hear the sound of my heart lurching as I spoke.

"I know I can give no reasons for you to want to stay, there is nothing I can do to force you to be with me..." It was true. What did I have to offer a god like him. He was beautiful and rich. He had so much talent, he did everything right and better than anyone else. He could have any girl he wanted. And I...I was just Bella. I began to realize how one-sided our relationship really was.

"Just give me one more hour with you before you go."

"Bella, I don't think that―" I interrupted him before he could protest.

"Please. Just please!" I was begging now. "I promise I won't make this any harder than it has to be. I just want to be ha- I want to be whole another hour." I was visibly shaking. He seemed to notice it briefly, but quickly overlooked it.

"Okay, Bella. If you can keep your word that you won't try to complicate this situation." His voice betrayed no emotion, his face was as stoic as I had ever seen it. "I can take you to the house. Alice left already to begin setting up at our new home, but you can say goodbye to the others."

Alice wasn't there. She was the only one who would fight for me. I didn't see any reason in hurting myself more by seeing the rest of the Cullens who were leaving me as well. I didn't have much time, but I would use what little of it I had left to be alone with Edward. "Take me to the meadow."

Edward's face softened for a brief instant and I caught a flicker of emotion in his eyes, but he said nothing. We began walking back to my truck in silence. His walk was graceful and his pacing kept him a safe distance in front of me.

The car ride was even more awkward. My truck was groaning as Edward tried to push the limits of its capabilities. I stared at my hands on my lap the whole ride while he kept a constant gaze on the road ahead of him. Something I knew he didn't have to do.

We arrived at the trail while it was still twilight. My door opened immediately after we stopped and Edward was standing close by, waiting for me to step out.

"Are you ready?," he smiled at me with sealed lips and apparent effort.

I nodded and then saw his hands hesitate as he first tried to reach out to me. Suddenly I was cradled against his chest with his arms wrapped around my neck and beneath my knees. His touch felt oddly icy. I was used to his cold embrace, I even welcomed it, but now it felt as if I were being held by a stranger.

Like the car ride, he kept his attentions on the path ahead while he ran through the trail. I didn't close my eyes, knowing it would very well be the last time I would be in his arms. I stared into his topaz eyes. They were usually so deep, but now they were almost transparent. I wanted to lose myself in them, to forget everything that had happened in the forest, but he wouldn't let me. Then I smelled his scent. His wonderful scent. I knew it would only hurt me in the end, but it was not a conscious thought. I tightened my arms around his neck desperately and buried my face in his chest inhaling deeply. I felt his body tense and his reluctance sent sharp daggers through my already deflated heart. I never loosened my grip on him though. If anything, I held on tighter as if trying to get comfort from the very person who wouldn't give it.

We reached the meadow and he gently put me down on the grass. He sat next to me with his legs stretched out in front of him and his palms on the ground behind him holding him up. He was staring at the stars that were emerging in the sky as the night fell. I was sitting cross legged and slowly, I leaned my head back into his chest. He didn't flinch this time. My soul was soothed. This was our place. It seemed like the only place right now that I would feel safe and content to just be with him I smiled happily against his body and closed my eyes in peace. Bad idea. A rush of emotions I had been keeping at bay all pushed their way to the surface. Tears began streaming down my cheek and I felt him watching me as I fell to pieces.

"Edward." I barely managed to whisper his name. "How am I going to live without you?" I was hoping he would have an answer for me. I wanted to scream at him. I tried to show him through my eyes as I turned to meet his. I wanted to show him how angry I was at him. I wanted to show him how much he was hurting me. I wanted to show him that I needed him. My silent anguish must have gotten to him because he turned his head away refusing to look at me.

"Bella, you promised." He finally began showing emotion as his eyebrows contorted his expression in sorrow. "This is hard enough as it is. Maybe this was a bad idea-" His emotionless resolve was weakening at this point. I saw him about to get up to leave.

"No! I'm sorry. Don't go. Please!" He listened to me and settled back into his place, but I don't think that he took what I said the same way that I really meant it.

I fought back the tears once again and hugged my legs with my chin on my knees. I didn't want to try to get to close to him until my hurt started to numb again. I didn't have a choice in the the matter. Before I knew it, Edward was on his knees behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and it felt genuine. The stranger who carried was no longer there.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." He was breathing in the hair on top of my head. I clutched my hands firmly on top of his knowing I could never hold him there if he wanted to pull away.

I knew he meant it. I just wasn't sure what I could do at the moment. If I started asking the questions that were clawing at my gut, he would leave. There was nothing I could at this point. Finally, I let the tears take me full force. I would rather get it all out here because I didn't want to have to face this sadness alone. I could feel my self shatter into pieces. Only Edward was still holding me together. He didn't let go as my grief lashed out unrelentingly. How was I going to keep myself from falling apart once he let go? My entire body shook as the sobs forced themselves out of me.

"Oh Bella..." I turned and saw pain reflecting off his eyes again, except this time it wasn't just my own. "I only want you to be happy. I need you to let me go."

"You may not love me anymore Edward, but I'll always be in love with you." I brought my face up to his and rested my hand on his cheek. I had been dwelling on those words he spoke to me in the forest. My entire being was resting its hopes on his response.

"It's not safe, me staying with you." I winced at his reply, which did not deny that he didn't love me. "It's better this way Bella. It's over." He put his hands on my shoulders and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

I wanted to argue but I had nothing to offer him. He wanted to keep me safe. I was more trouble than I was worth. All Edward did was save me. I didn't want to be a burden. Especially not to him. I just wrapped my arms around his torso fearing what would happen once he was no longer around to hold me together. Time froze as I lay in his arms.

"This hour went by fast," Edward said softly looking down at me.

It felt like a hole was being burrowed in my stomach. I didn't want him to leave. Not yet. I didn't want to cry in front of him anymore either. I couldn't bear it if Edward also started to pity me. I stifled the emotion and it came out as a weak whimper.

"I could stay for a little while longer," offered Edward as he hugged me closer to him.

I was no longer hysterical, but the tears never ceased pouring from my eyes. I wasn't sure how long I cried into him. His shirt was drenched by now, but I didn't have the strength to move away. It must have been more than a couple of hours because dawn began to break. Edward was still holding me and all the crying had left my eyes sore. It had taken a lot out of me and sleep was beckoning. Edward was aware of my fatigue as always.

"Sleep Bella," he whispered softly in my ear and I felt my heart flutter as his cool breath brushed against my skin. Each quick beat was like a wrecking ball smashing into my chest.

"No, I'm not tired," I lied. No matter what, I would not fall asleep. This was all the time I had with him. I knew if I fell asleep I would wake up with him gone...forever.

Edward began humming my lullaby softly in my ear. He was trying to push me into sleep. I tried futilely with all my will power to keep conscious. How I wish there was a coke nearby.

The sound of the song he made just for me added more to the hurt. I cried more and more in his arms. It did nothing to help keep my eyes open. I felt myself plunging into sleep's cold embrace. It wasn't the same.

Before I was fully overtaken, I managed to mouth out the words I needed to say as the realization came to me. "I know now. Why you're really leaving me." I couldn't even hear myself, but I knew he heard me clearly.

"Why is that Bella?" Edward was brushing strands of hair off of my face and I yawned.

I hesitated. "I never deserved to have someone like you."

I was already halfway sleeping when I think I heard him say something that sounded like "_No my Bella. My sweet, sweet Bella. You really don't."_

I didn't really have the nightmares I expected that night. All I remember was that I was crying. I felt myself crying and feeling pain of the worst kind. I woke up in my bed. My eyes were puffy and I realized that I must have been crying all night because I still felt beads of water falling down from my eyes and onto my soaked pillow. Edward was gone. I was alone in my room and I knew last night was the last time I would ever be whole again. I knew what happened wasn't just a dream because my heart didn't feel shattered, and my soul didn't feel tortured. I had willingly given them both to Edward a long time ago. When he left, he took them with him. Now all that was left behind was an empty shell.

**That was it, I'm not sure if I want to continue this, because like I said, I'm not really a fanfic writer. I have the second part up already though,and depending how this one goes, I'll upload it. Hopefully, my stories will get better and better in the future as I get more experience writing these...**


	2. Jacob Black

**A/N Hmm, not much of a reaction...Oh well, I'm doing this for myself anyways and I already had this chapter made. I didn't really like the last chapter anyway. I was too lazy to actually re-read the forest scene cause I'm saving it for when I next re-read the books lol. Anyways, this one was fun to write. Oh yeah, if you haven't noticed yet, my style when I write, i always use the same paragraph for dialogue of one character. You will never see dialogue from more that one person on the same paragraph.**

_**OCTOBER - - - - - - - - - - - - JANUARY**_

"Bye Dad! I'm going out with Angela and Jess!" I ran down the stairs, stumbling on the last step. My head was just about to smash into the railing until a strong arm caught me. My heart stopped. I don't know why, but my reaction wasn't from fear of my almost concussion.

"Careful Bella," said Charlie holding me up. His expression dimmed briefly when he saw the disappointed look on my face. Charlie always caught my rare displays of silent anguish, but I always manage to compose myself before he gets a bring them up. "So, uh, where are you girls headed to?" I was glad this time was no different.

"We're going down to Port Angeles. For dinner and a movie." I grabbed my coat and had to end my conversation with Charlie while I ran out the door. "Gotta go dad. They're waiting for me in Jessica's car."

The car ride consisted of Jessica talking about herself and Mike. Of course she did that all the time, so I had to nod and pretend to care about things I had already heard a million times before. Angela was quietly gloating at me with her exclusion from the one-sided conversation. She always seemed to take advantage of me being around by throwing me into to the the conversation before Jessica could get to her. She was the first to speak in the car which was unusual, so I knew of her devious plan and threw her a look. Angela had not so subtly said '_Ummm, Jessica. Have you told Bella about your plans with Mike next week?' _Stupid, cunning, quiet girl. It was a long ride and I wished Jessica would have driven faster.

We arrived at the movies earlier than expected despite the slow driving, which Angela insists was already over the speed limit. I still wasn't sure what we were watching, Angela bought the tickets online and I didn't really care to ask. Jessica was already walking inside when I caught a familiar face. I couldn't quite place it. He was really tall, had his black hair tied back in a ponytail and was surrounded by a group of guys. They were from the La Push reservation.

"Jacob?" Was this the younger boy who I had talked to that day on the beach?

"Bella?" He looked at me and so did the other boys. I felt a blush creeping up on me. "Bella!" He was running to me and soon my feet were off the ground. I was caught in a bear hug by his enormous arms.

"Jacob. Can't Breathe," I choked out panting. He released me apologizing, and I blatantly scanned his body as my neck bent down and craned directly up to take him in. "Wow. You grew a lot." He was wearing cutaway jeans and a simple white t-shirt. He had gained muscle mass too. I could see that instantly.

"Yeah. Haha." Jacob grinned which reminded me of when I had last seen him. It's nice some things haven't changed. "I missed you so much. You haven't been down to La Push lately." Disappointment quickly shot across his face very much like it did on mine sometimes. I couldn't help but feel bad.

"Oh. I'll be sure to visit you again."

"Really? How about next week!" Jacob was ecstatic and I felt a smile creeping up on me. It was weird. I never smiled like this before. Or at least I can't ever remember feeling this elated.

"Jacob!" Someone from the group of boys called out to him before I could answer. He was tall and looked older than the rest. I immediately had a dislike for him.

"Sam, I'm just talking to my friend. This is Bella." Sam glanced over in my direction and back to Jacob.

"We're leaving." The pack of guys started walking away. Sam was still eying Jacob.

"But-"

"Now Jacob." Sam cut him off. Jake started to follow.

"Bye Jake...," I whispered sadly even though I knew he was out of earshot. He left without even saying goodbye. Why did it hurt so much? I felt a chill and I was about to hug my stomach to comfort myself, but Angela grabbed my hand. I didn't even notice her.

"Come on Bella," she said pulling me gently inside towards an impatient Jessica. "We're going to miss it." She looked at me worried, as if I was I were reminding her of something she didn't want to see.

The movie we were watching was called 'Dead End'. It was some drabble about the undead. Zombies or vampires or something. I scoffed at myself. Everyone knew vampires didn't exist. The movie dragged on with Jessica or Angela letting out a scream every once and a while. Everyone in front of us looked back every time that happened. "_We had to sit in the back...," _I thought sarcastically.

"That movie was so scary," Jessica declared as we walked back to the car. We canceled the dinner plans since Angela and Jessica, mostly Jessica, had stuffed themselves with nachos and hot dogs. I wasn't particularly hungry myself.

Just as I was about to step into the passenger seat of Jessica's car, I heard someone calling my name, quite loudly. It was Jacob. He was alone which made me smile again. He was running towards me from across the parking lot and when he finally reached me, his breathing was still even.

"Hey Bella," he said in a _fancy meeting you here_ tone. "Do you girls mind if I drive Bella home tonight?" He was addressing Jessica.

She looked annoyed. I could tell she was about to protest the idea of him taking her friend away, but Angela cut in.

"Sure! I have to get home soon and it would take Jessica longer if she had to drop me off first and head back to Bella's." Jessica seemed to buy her reasoning and slid into the car. I was amazed at Angela's quick response. She was almost too eager to get rid of me. Jacob seemed pretty happy though.

"So, where is your ring leader," I asked bitterly as we started walking back towards the movie theater.

"Awww, don't hate Sam. He's a good guy. He is just overprotective." I was annoyed at Jacob who was intently defending his friend's rudeness towards us.

"What, is he afraid I'm going to hurt you," I asked playfully. Jacob just shrugged and mumbled something incoherently. I couldn't help but laugh. It felt good to laugh.

"So you never told me your decision yet," said Jacob, purposefully changing the subject.

"Decision?" I gave him a wondering look.

"I invited you down to the rez next week didn't I?" Jacob looked hopeful. I felt queasy at the thought of being there.

"Would I be welcome?" I asked not sure how I would be treated if I got there. Judging by the reactions of his friends, not very well.

"Bella, you'll definitely be welcome." He frowned slightly at my apprehension. "I'm sure you'll love the guys once you get to know them. And once they get to know you," he added.

"Then sure Jacob, I'd love to come over." He was smiling just as widely as I was. I was actually anticipating going there. I hadn't felt excited about anything since coming to Forks. I have just been going through the motions really. Something always gnawed at my gut, giving me a feeling that something was missing. I never could figure out what though. Maybe it was Jacob? Ever since I moved in with Charlie, all my memories seem to mesh together. Everyday was the same routine. Not much to distinguish one memory from the other.

Just then my stomach rumbled. "I think I'm hungry." Jacob just laughed at me. I never ate much these days. I never had the will to eat. I could never tell I was hungry until my stomach decided to speak up.

"I could always use a bite to eat," Jacob said patting his flat stomach. He grew up, not out. I was a little jealous. Jacob walked me to a McDonald's. He ordered me a shake, a burger and fries. Jacob got the same, but times three. I was astounded by how much he could put away. I giggled at the sight of him finishing his second meal while I was already putting my tray away.

Jacob grabbed his last burger insisting that I not wait for him to finish. We walked back to his car while he was still eating it. It didn't take him long. We stopped at his car. I didn't know much about cars, but there was something special about his. Then I remembered.

"Jacob did you make this?"

"Yhewa" He nodded for emphasis. He was still chewing his last bits of food, but did his best to answer me.

I squealed and hugged his waist. I was earnestly happy for him. He hugged me back, careful not to touch me with his hands. Him holding me felt right. A pang of guilt got to me and I suddenly felt emotionally winded.

"Waz rung?" Jacob was swallowing his food in one big gulp and looked at me concerned as I recoiled.

"N-Nothing. I'm not sure," I answered honestly as I got in the car.

I was distracted during the ride home while Jacob talked to me non-stop about what he wanted to do when I got to La Push. It wasn't the same type of rabble Jessica did, I was actually involved in the conversation. Jacob noticed me unconsciously glancing at his speedometer and asked me why I was so anxious.

"Aren't we going a little slow?" I glanced out the window.

"I'm already ten miles over the speed limit Bella," he chided. "It's not safe to be going so fast especially here where it rains non-stop."

"You're right," I reprimanded my self. Why did I care how fast we were going? Stupid stupid Bella. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize." He laughed. "I didn't realize you were such a thrill seeker." I shook my head and laughed along with him.

He stopped outside of my house and I saw Charlie peeking out the window. Jessica must have called. I didn't want to go inside yet. I turned to Jake.

"Hey Jacob," I got his attention and I was looking into his deep, innocent eyes. "It's only Friday, would it be okay if I went and visited you tomorrow instead?" He was still looking at me and I wasn't sure what that meant. "Never mind then," I rushed out, not wanting to spoil the night. "You must have other things to do, forget I mentioned it," I smiled back at him trying to hide the uneasiness in my eyes.

"Bella, I would LOVE it if you came tomorrow!" He practically yelled this at me. I was beaming. "I didn't want to wait for a _whole_ week, but I was sure you would already have better things to do."

"Nope, nada," I said smugly. He walked me to the door and gave me another bear hug before departing.

"See you tomorrow Bells!" He was really excited and I loved that he was. It did a lot for me to feel wanted.

"Was that Jacob Black?" Charlie asked incredulously as I walked in the door.

"Yeah, I'm going over to visit him tomorrow if that's alright." Charlie put on a big grin.

"Well, I'm glad you're spending more time with him. He's a good kid." He smiled warmly and looked back to me as if he forgot something. "Oh yeah, Jessica's on the phone. I put her on hold cause I saw you coming." I thanked him and ran to the kitchen to grab the phone.

"Hey Jess." I sounded cheerful, but I was already coming up with excuses for how to end the phone call if she ended up talking too long, which was always.

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry," It took me an instant to realize what she was apologizing for. "I can't believe Angela would do that to you. Making us leave you alone with that strange boy."

"Oh Jessica, it's okay, he was an old friend."

"Don't try to make me feel better. I saw that fake smile you had to put on when he was around. I could tell you didn't want him to be there. You never have to smile like that when you are around us." I chuckled inwardly. Jessica had it backwards. I heard a someone yell Jessica's name on the other line.

"I'm coming Ma!" I was almost deafened by her response. "Oh I'm sorry Bella, my mom needs me to help her rearrange her beanie baby collection. You have to tell me all about what happened when we get back to school. Bye!." The phone clicked shut and I rushed to my room.

I wanted so bad for it to be tomorrow already. I was tired and needed sleep too. Before hopping into bed I ran up to my open window and closed it tight making sure to latch on the lock. It was a habit of mine to open it up on sunny days so the rays sparkled in my room. I was never able to sleep without locking my window first though. Even so, my dreams were always miserable. Charlie told me that I screamed sometimes at night but I didn't like to think about it. Sleeping was always an obstacle for me and there was nothing I could do about it. I always woke up crying or shaking, so I never tried to remember what I dreamed about. I was content letting my dreams only haunt me during the night. I knew if I lingered too much on what my subconscious was trying to force on me, I would break and I wasn't read for that to happen.

**Okay that was it. As you read, Bella has done her best to repress memories. She's mostly in denial right now. I'm excited to write her reaction when the cullens return. I keep reading stories about how Edward returns and Bella just forgives him. I don't like that. I like Edward and all, but I like seeing him tortured over what he did. Bella shouldn't forgive him so easily. Oh yeah, here's a little preview of what I expect to happen.**

-removed- 

_"You broke me."__ My voice was filled with all the pain of the long months before._

**Lol, okay maybe that wasn't for you, I just wrote that so I could remember my idea and use it later. Sorry, I removed the rest of the spoiler.  
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	3. Not Forgiven, but Forgotten

**A/N: Wow, I got reviews. hehe, It's funny cause last chapter there were none and I imagined that there was an echo for every word I typed. Anyways, this one has more Jacob. I don't really want him in this story, but he won't go away [. I can't wait til the Cullens come back. Anyways, I decided to sort of clear up a little the issue of Bella and her reactions in the last chapter because someone coughcoughEleniel told me that it wasn't exactly apparent last time. Lol, it wasn't, but I figured I was going to do that later so thanks for pointing that out to me : . I guess now is later. She's not like amnesiac, she's just trying to get on with her life and she can't do that by living in the past. Just go with it, it was either this or I was going to write about how Charlie bought her some anti-depressants haha. Anyways, you can see that in the last chapter also when they're watching the movie. As you know, "Dead End" was about zombies. Bella however purposely says that _vampires_ aren't real. The undead theme reminded her of Edward and she told herself that they don't exist. She is actively reminding herself that they're not real so she may not really believe it but that's what she's going to keep telling herself.**

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The morning dragged on until nine, when I had decided it was finally late enough for me to visit Jake. He would probably be awake by now anyways because if he were anything like the rest of the boys my age, he'd be up watching Saturday morning cartoons. I chuckled at the thought while I drove, but felt a hint of guilt. I had no right to judge him, I barely even knew him anymore. I promised myself that that would change by the end of today.

I decided to surprise Jacob instead of calling him first. I pulled up in front of his house ready to make my sneaky entrance.

_KPOK!! _My truck loudly squeaked and sputtered as I turned off the engine.

"_So much for the surprise"_ I thought to myself.

Just as I was stepping out of my truck, the door to the house opened and out walked a barely awake Jake rubbing the sleep off his eyes. He walked passed the doorway and stopped to let out a bellowing yawn while he reached his arms over his head, stretching out his well toned muscles.

"Wow," was all I could say to myself with my lips clearly overemphasizing each letter of the single vowel word. Jacob came out wearing only blue plaid pajama pants. Nothing else. He was shamelessly displaying his athletic physique while he stretched and I couldn't help but watch. A deep crimson blush ran past my cheeks all the way up to my ears.

When he was fully awake, Jacob stared at me bright eyed and ran to give me a hug. I hoped he wouldn't see how red I was.

He wrapped me in a tight embrace and I was all too aware of his half-nakedness.

"You came," his voice was calm, but skeptical as if he couldn't really believe I was there.

"I said I would didn't I?" I was still wrapped tightly in his arms.

His skin was really warm against my body. It almost rivaled the heat still on my face as I struggled to keep it under control. I wasn't quite comfortable being so close to a...man.

"Sorry, did I wake you Jake?" I pulled away to check his face for any lingering signs of fatigue.

"No, your truck did," He replied bluntly. "That truck is the only thing that can pull me out of a deep sleep." He chuckled.

"Really?" I was curious. I never thought about the connection with Jake and the truck until I remembered that Charlie had bought my truck from Jacob's dad.

"Yeah, I've always wanted to work on my own car, but my dad kept pushing me to use his and I always refused. He never quite stopped hassling me about until you moved here. You can imagine how relieved I was when your dad bought the truck.. Even so, I still get nightmares about the sputtering and endless racket that comes from of that beast." He shrugged. "No offense."

"Gee, Thanks Jacob," I said dryly.

We walked back inside his house after he decided what he was wearing wasn't appropriate attire for our plans that day. Of course, I knew he was just doing so for my sake, and I was grateful. I made small talk with Billy as I waited for him to finish changing. He was now wearing faded jeans with cuts on the knees and a plain black T-shirt which hugged his muscles. The black shirt looked great with his smooth hair falling against his cheeks.

We spent the day walking along the beach where we had first met. It was light conversation. Nothing too intense, mostly stuff about school and what we had been doing all this time.

The sun was already setting and I couldn't believe we were still just hanging out enjoying each other's company. I had been telling him about my past exploits with the girls these last few months. He was listening with genuine eagerness as if he were on the edge of his seat, hanging on my every word. I had finally gotten to the point which led up to me meeting him last night until he decided to interrupt.

"Wait, Bella. Isn't there a gap?"

"What do you mean?" My hands started sweating and all the comfort I seemed to have had with Jacob was thrown out to sea.

"Well," He grinned, obviously not noticing the sudden drag in my enthusiasm. "You've told me all about school and stuff from the _last_ few months, but what about before that? It's been a long time since you've first moved here and I never really had a chance to actually talk you then. You were always caught up with your friends."

"Nothing much," I mumbled to myself hoping he wouldn't press. I was looking at the ground trying not to engage him any further.

"C'mon Bella. _I'm_ your friend now." He smiled at that declaration, but I couldn't bring myself to mirror his reaction. "I want to know your experiences and what you went through. Tell me what I missed. It will make me feel like I was more a part of your life."

My hands were balled up into fists. This day had been so pleasant, why did he have to ruin it? I gave him the answer which always got me through these ordeals.

"I don't remember." He looked at me appalled.

"What did you hit your head or something?" He laughed lightly not taking me seriously.

"No Jacob, I just don't think about it that much." My eyes began to become moist until I forced what must have been a scary smile to Jacob.

He recognized the tears I was trying to hide and just nodded to me. An awkward silence fell over us for quite a while as we sat on the sandy shores. I wasn't used to Jake being so quiet and I cursed myself for causing him to be that way. It was Jake who fought to broke that silence.

"So, It's hard huh? Because of hi-"

"JACOB!" I yelled at him as i stood up. I didn't mean to yell, but I continued my sentence in a normal voice as if I hadn't just scared him half to death. "It's cold, I want to head back now." My body was shaking and I wrapped my arms around myself in a tight grip. It was cold...

I started to walk back briskly without him. I wasn't crying, but my face was stuck in a pronounced frown when I had reached my truck. I left without waiting for Jacob and quickly sped my way back home.

I was composed by the time I walked into the door of my house. Charlie didn't even notice a thing.

"Have a good time?" Charlie was looking up at me from the couch.

"Yeah, it was great catching up with Jake." I smiled and made my way up to my room.

I was on my computer replying to one of Renee's e-mails when the doorbell rang. I looked out my window and saw Jacob's car parked on the street. I didn't want to talk about what happened, so I hoped Charlie would think I was asleep by now and send him away. Five minutes passed and his car was still there.

I stalked out of my room quietly and heard Charlie talking to Jacob in the living room.

"-hard for her. She's okay most of the time Jake. She's getting on with her life. I can relate to how she feels a lot. That pain never goes away, sometimes you have to pretend like it never existed. Forgive and forget is sort of the theme that I'm getting at. We've all learned a long time ago that it's hard for her to talk about it and we don't want to have to force these bad feelings on her."

"But is it really forgiven? If they come back it will just be that much harder on her."

"They're not coming back," said Charlie tersely.

"But what if-"

"They're not coming back and I'll make damn sure that they don't!" Charlie said this more loudly barely keeping in check his anger.

"You can't just expect me to go along with all of this?"

I couldn't listen anymore. I ran to the bathroom to wipe my face clean with a towel and walked towards the stairs as if I had just gotten out of my room.

"Charlie, who was at the door?" They both looked at me and I put on my best 'Jessica" smile as I looked at Jacob. "Oh! Jacob, what are you doing here?" My overbearing cheeriness was drowning the room.

"Hi Bella I just came to see how you were doing," he smiled at me, the worry not quite gone from his eyes.

"Well I was just about to get something to drink, let's talk in the kitchen." I walked us away from Charlie letting him get back to his game.

I poured myself a glass of water while Jacob stood silently, staring at the floor.

"Bella, I'm sorry," He blurted out. "I'm sorry I made you so uncomfortable with me today, that's the last thing I want."

He looked heartbroken although I'm pretty sure_ he _had no reason to be. I wasn't mad at him, I just needed to get away after our conversation. I managed to give him a real smile, albeit it wasn't a big one.

"Jacob, don't apologize. I didn't mean to get so emotional on you back there." I couldn't believe I was going to say this. "It was just...girl problems. I'm sorry. Friends?" He looked really embarrassed for a moment, then smiled his biggest smile at me. He seemed to understand what I was hinting at, much to my dismay. My dignity was gone, but I was doing my best to erase what happened earlier.

"Friends." He took me in a bear hug again and lifted me off my feet."Okay, well you've had more than enough Jacob time than anyone would like." He put me down and patted my head. He said goodbye to Charlie, and then I walked him to the door.

"I'll see you soon Jacob Black." I was leaning against the door frame watching him walk back to his car.

"You promise?" he yelled back.

"I promise, now go home or I'll call the cops!" He chuckled at me waved once again before driving off.

I was glad I was able to settle things with Jacob so soon, but I was now emotionally drained and the rest of me followed suit. I ran back to my room, made sure my window was securely locked and drifted quickly off to a long sleep.

* * *

**Okay, another character developmentish chapter. I actually wrote about ideas during class. Who knew that class was actually good for something? I found something that could rescue me from boring lectures. I came up with future ideas that i really liked and none of them are in this chapter. This one is mostly a transitional chapter. I don't really have another preview but heres some random ideas I came up with. I might not use them, because I haven't actually started writing the next one, but these amuse me. I think the next chapter will most likely have the second one.**

* * *

_"This was never about me Edward Cullen. This was always about you and this masochistic notion that you don't deserve to be happy."_

* * *

_"No Jacob!" he growled at me._

_"Don't argue with me on this Sam. I'm pulling rank."_

* * *

_"When someone loves as much as you and Edward loved each other...well, that just means you had that much farther to fall." _

**  
**


	4. Leader of the Pack

**A/N  I'm sorry more Jacob Blackyness. I guess for those of you who like him, its okay. I like him, I just want to start writing the good stuff already. sigh. Anyways, this is a really short chapter, I just had to get a few things out of the way before I could progress any further. I actually did this in class. Well, have fun.  
P.S It's so much fun looking at my stats page. Lol, i may have only 8 reviews, but It's weird seeing the hits and alerts. People are actually reading and that makes me happy.**

** Jacob POV **

I couldn't sleep at all last night. _She_ was going to see me again. She _promised_ she was going to see me again. Dad noticed I had a big grin on my face when I got home and I could see that he looked so proud of me. I still had a smile on my face. I couldn't help it, my cheeks should be so sore by now, but they weren't.

_'Today is going to be a good day,' _I thought.

I hopped out of bed and ran to to kitchen for breakfast. I was starving.

"Jacob, Bella called." I checked the clock, it was already 11:30. "I told her you were still asleep." My dad was looking at me with slight amusement in his eyes.

I dropped my spoon and it fell into my bowl of cheerios with a splash.

"What? When? Why didn't you wake me?!" I rushed this to him while I ran to the phone.

"Relax son, I could tell you needed rest. You could always call her back." I was doing so as he spoke. It took three failed attempts before my large fingers were steady enough to hit each button right.

"Hello?" she answered. Her voice sounded almost as alluring on the phone than it did in person.

"Hey Bells, you called?" My voice was calm. I tried playing it cool and you could only barely hear my excitement...except for my voice partly cracking as I finished my question.

"Yeah," there was a slight pause. She was thinking of what she was going to say to me. "Charlie is going fishing with your dad. He asked me if I wanted to go with him over there. I thought I should check with you first."

"You already know I always look forward to your visits here." I had to think about my response. It was smooth, but I couldn't help but let a little of my eagerness slip out. "Now hurry and get ready so you'll get here faster." She laughed and said she'd see me soon before hanging up.

I turned to my dad to tell him the good news, but he already knew.

"I thought it would be nice to have another outing with Charlie," he shrugged innocently. "I also suggested that maybe Bella would enjoy coming over here for a while too."

"Thanks dad." I went and hugged him before going to get changed. I doubt Bella would want to see me in my sleeping attire again.

I thought hard about what to wear, and finally decided on a pale green shirt and blue jeans. I didn't have much of a selection anyway, most of my clothes barely fit anymore. Even the clothes that did were still tight against my body.

A sudden rapping on the door startled me as I smoothed out the creases in my pants.

_'It couldn't be Bella already, could it?'_

"Jacob, Sam's here!" my dad yelled. And with that, my hopes dropped and my mood took a turn for the worse.

I went and greeted him morosely in the living room and my dad left us alone to get his fishing gear ready.

"Jake," he nodded at me. "It's your turn to patrol today."

I had totally forgotten about my duties. There was no chance that I was going to miss my day with Bella though.

"Actually Sam, I have plans. I'm sure Quil or Embry will cover for me today." I wasn't too worried about shirking my responsibilities. The guys always had my back.

"It's not their turn." His response was stern and held the implication that there was more to this than me not going on patrol. "What is so important that you can't do your part for the village?" I was afraid he already knew the answer.

"Bella's coming over," I said quietly, but loud enough to show that I wasn't going to let him interfere.

Anger flashed across his eyes, but he otherwise showed no signs of annoyance.

"Jacob, I thought we had an understanding. It's not wise for you to be near her." His voice held no softness to it.

"She's safe with me...,"I mumbled, avoiding his gaze.

"She's not Jacob." The volume of his voice rose, but his calm demeanor never faltered. "You're being foolish. I'm telling you to stop this."

His words brushed past me. I would not entertain the idea of being apart from Bella. I knew it wasn't right to disagree with him, but I would fight with all I had to keep Bella in my life.

"What about you and Emily?" His eyes narrowed on me. It was a touchy subject.

"That's different Jacob. I haven't and never will forgive myself for hurting Emily." His tone was tired, but quickly regained it's edge. "It's too dangerous, and if there's a chance to prevent this from happening to the girl who you say you care so much about then we'll take no risks."

He was being dramatic. I _wouldn't_ hurt Bella, I _couldn't_ hurt Bella. She's already been through so much, and all I wanted to do was make her smile. I didn't need much else.

"I can handle it Sam. You and Emily are happy right? I want us to be happy too."

"Jacob, believe me I would have done the same thing with Emily if it meant that I wouldn't have hurt her. I am reminded about what I could have done to her every time I see her."

"You didn't answer my question."

"We are happy Jacob. I could never leave Emily now...I know it would hurt her even more than any physical damage I could do or have done to her. I still worry about the day when this control I have slips. But you Jacob...It's not too late to save Bella." He looked at me kindly as if his reasoning had already won me over.

"No Sam, you're wrong. By keeping us apart you're making me do the exact same thing you don't want to happen with Emily." After my talk with Charlie yesterday, nothing was going to stop me from preventing any _thing _from hurting Bella again. Nothing. "Bella, she's special."

"No Jacob," he said calmly, obviously ending the conversation.

A moment of silence fell between us, but my resolve wasn't weakened.

"I'm not leaving her," I said with all the conviction in my voice.

"I am telling you no Jacob!" he growled at me before walking away, not wanting to escalate this any further. I was surprised at his brief loss of control.

"Sam...I'm not going to let your authority over me keep us apart." I was talking in a calm voice. I took a deep breath and spoke the words which would change my life forever. "I'm pulling rank."

He froze in place and his ears perked upwards before he turned around to face me. I could tell I was testing his controlled temper even more.

"Are you sure about that?" he asked me in a way which made it sound like a threat.

"Yes"

"Fine then. Congratulations to you, Alpha."

He walked away after I had made him say the words which I'm sure struck a blow to his pride. "Have fun with your _leech-lover,_" he muttered loud enough for my enhanced hearing to pick up. The words struck a cord.

I closed my eyes and clenched my fists to stop myself from shaking. I was alpha of the pack. I never wanted to lead us. I was never going to be as good as Sam. I felt all the responsibility in the world fall on my shoulders. I wasn't sure about the full extent of what I had done, but I held no regrets. I knew that I would be able to handle it all in stride, if only because I knew I could do it with Bella in my life.

_KPOK!_

I smiled. Bella was here.

* * *

**A/N**** Okay, that was a short chapter and Jacob is now leader. hehe, I imagine him wearing a crown where ever it goes. This should be interesting. so...I wasn't sure why I made him eat cheerios for breakfast. What do wolves eat for breakfast? I guess I should have asked. Okay, for the next chapter, I am asking...should Charlie be shot and stay in the hospital? Or should Charlie burn the house down? I need to get rid of him **

**Okay here's a sorta preview I guess...actually, I don't really have any handy, so here's a preview on a different story I plan on starting in the future.**

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_Edward eats Bella, letter to him_

Vague much? Haha, right now its just the title of a blank file in my stories folder. I'm looking forward to writing it though.


	5. Fire! Fire!

**A/N**** Hmmm, okay I'm putting out this one early again cause I want to get rid of the Jacob chapters already. There's only about one or two more, promise! I am not planning to involve Victoria or Laurent in this story much, I just want to write about the vampires already. I'm not even sure if I plan on letting Bella know about Jacob being a werewolf.**

**P/S, I might have taken down some previews from the last chapters. Just to add more suspense for the up coming chapters.**

**I do not own any of this...except **_KPOK_! **The **_KPOK!_** is mine.  
**

* * *

The car ride to La Push was comfortably silent. Charlie insisted on us driving together in my truck since we were going to the same place anyway. He had often tried to get me to come with him on his fishing trips before but I had never had a reason to, until now. 

"So what will you and Jake be up to today?" he asked as we pulled up into their driveway.

"I don't know, I'm sure Jacob will have some ideas." He gave me a look when he noticed my phrasing.

_KPOK!!_

I got out of the truck before he could start up an uncomfortable conversation with me.

"Bella!" Jake was running to me and I could tell he was about to attack me with another hug, just like the morning before. He stopped two feet away from me when he noticed Charlie getting out of the car.

"Hi Jake." I beamed. He smiled back but still looked disappointed at the fact that he didn't get to wrap his arms around me.

"Hi Charlie, my dad's inside waiting."

"Okay, you two be good." Charlie was looking at Jacob as he spoke and then he was off.

"So, you guys rode together?" He smirked at the truck.

"Yeah, Jake. Charlie said he didn't see any reason in bringing police cruiser...yet." I looked at him darkly the way Charlie had done to me earlier trying to pass on the implied threat.

"Haha, you had to be the police chief's daughter."

"So, what crazy antics will we be up to today?"

"Well, I was sort of planning to introduce you to the guys." I grimaced.

"Are you sure?" I tried not to say anything negative about his friends.

"Positive. Besides, I doubt you'd like to spend the day fishing with our fathers," he said trying to lighten my mood. My expression still had not changed. "Don't worry, they'll like you. I'll make sure of it."

"How will you do that?" I asked, not looking forward to the tension I expected after meeting his friends.

"Easy. I'll tell them to." There was a commanding air to the last part of his reply. He was so confident that I just had to trust him.

"Let's go, they're probably at the cliffs by now." He held out his hand for me and led me towards the his car.

We arrived at a part of the beach I had never been to before. It was so isolated, but beautiful at the same time. There were a group of guys standing near the shore talking. They were all shirtless and looked like they just got out of the water. I recognized the biggest one as Sam. He was talking to the rest of the guys at the beach. He looked pretty upset.

We walked over to them and Jacob practically had to drag me every step of the way. All eyes were on me, then after a second, everyone was looking at Jacob. The faces I saw held looks of awe or utter confusion as they gawked at Jacob.

"Hey guys." Jacob greeted, ignoring their looks.

Suddenly, most of the guys walked up to Jacob and started patting him on the back. A round of 'cheers' and 'congratulations' were given. Sam stayed where he was. I didn't know why Jacob was receiving so much praise, but I didn't think it had anything to do with me. At least I hoped not. Jacob didn't bother to explain to me and just shrugged it off.

"Guys, this is Bella," he gestured towards me and put on a big smile.

Before I knew it, I was surrounded. I was surrounded by half-naked men. I was surrounded and casually being touched by half-naked, dripping wet, well-toned men. My face grew hot. I was being bombarded with_'hellos'_ and being embraced by a group of guys I didn't even know. Some shook hands, some patted me casually, and some hugged. It was very awkward.

As things died down, Jacob rescued me and pulled me away. He began with the introductions and pointed out to me Embry, Quil, Paul and the others.

"Just thought it would be nice for you to know the names of the people who you've gotten to know so well," he teased. It did start to become a lot less tense now that I knew all of their names. I was still a little nervous because of Sam though.

"Umm...Jacob, is everything alright with me being here?" I asked quietly so that no one else could hear. I glanced over at Sam and he was looking at me as if he had heard what I said. I Immediately dropped my gaze.

"Don't worry about Sam, Bells. He just a little crabby because we had a disagreement earlier today. He'll get over it."

"This disagreement...it wasn't because of me, was it?" I didn't want to be the cause of any bad blood between them. Jacob looked at me knowingly.

"Actually, Bells, it sorta of was." I winced. "But that's not why he's mad, so relax. He's just mad at me because I decided I wanted something that was mine. He wasn't excited to part with it, but like I said, he'll get over it. It's just an ego thing."

I didn't understand what he was talking about. I was about to ask what the thing was but he was dragging me back to his car.

"Wait, aren't we going to stay with your friends?" It seemed odd that we would leave so soon after arriving.

"I only said I would introduce you to them Bella. Even a pack of hungry wolves couldn't get me to share you." I rolled my eyes at him. "Besides Bells, they'll be going back into the water and you didn't bring any clothes with you." His lips curled upwards into a big grin. "Unless you intend to go skinny dipping ..."

I knew he was only playing with me, but my cheeks flushed. The embarrassment of my reaction caused my blush to deepen even more. Jacob laughed lightly.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're cute when you blu-"

"No." I finished for him. I looked him in the eyes. "I mean, no one has told me that before," I said calmly. I continued walking to the car with him.

We had spent the rest of the day at his house. I helped him with his homework, which there was a lot of.

"I can't believe you have so much work to do. I think you need to prioritize better."

"Well, I'm not an organized person. Maybe you should come over everyday and tutor me," he gave me his big puppy dog eyes. They were surprisingly effective.

"I'm beginning to think that's not such a bad idea," I said as I pulled out another undone algebra packet from his bag. "This is pitiful Jacob Black."

It took us until nightfall to finally finish his homework. We had just settled on the couch to watch TV when Billy and Charlie walked in. Jacob was leaning back comfortably but immediately sat up straight as they walked in. I noticed that his right arm was positioned suspiciously close to my shoulders.

"Did you kids eat yet?" Billy asked holding up their day's catch.

"No, I totally forgot. I'm starved." Jacob was patting his stomach.

"Jacob Black forgetting about food? I'm shocked," I said with fake surprise. Billy and Charlie laughed.

"Well, I invited them for dinner at our house Bella. I already started to prepare the food before we came here this morning."

Charlie cooking? This wasn't good.

"What did you do?" I said it as an accusation.

"Nothing special, I just thought that it would be nice to simmer some ingredients for our fish in a pot for a couple of hours." He pointed at the fish they caught and smiled pridefully.

"Cha- Dad." I said it slowly, hoping he would tell me what I wanted to hear. "You didn't leave the flame on...did you?"

"Wasn't I supposed to? It's like what you do with the pot roast. It brings out the flavor if you cook it for a while." He pointed at the fish again, but there was no confidence to his movements this time.

"That's only when I have the roast in the pan first! You can't just leave the flame on the pot before you put the fish in it dad!" We looked at each other for a second, his mouth was stuck in the "o" position.

I ran to the truck and he was right behind me. Jacob was helping his dad out into his own car. I drove fast not waiting for the other two.

We saw the smoke before we actually saw our house. The sky was gray and the thick smell of ash made it hard to breath. There were two police cars and a firetruck in front of our lawn.

"Chief Swan, thank God you're safe," one of the police officers called out as we parked. "Oh, and your daughter's with you too." He looked relieved. "We just arrived five minutes ago. We couldn't search the house until the fire was taken care of."

"We're fine, Yorkie." Charlie was taking in the damage on the house. The fire wasn't completely out yet. There were still a few flickering flames coming out of the kitchen window. One side of our house was covered in black soot. There didn't seem to be too much damage around the rest of the house.

"Do you know what may have caused the fire Chief?" Yorkie asked.

"Charlie was cooking." I answered for him.

"Oh" The police officer, Yorkie, just shrugged and sent Charlie a sympathetic glance, not needing anymore explanation.

"Bella!" Jacob and Billy had arrived. Jacob was wheeling his father towards us. "How bad is it?" he asked.

"We're not sure yet." Charlie answered.

"Well, if there's anything we could do, we're here to help." Billy offered.

We weren't allowed to move any closer to the house, but once the fire was completely taken care of, one of the firemen started to walk towards us.

"Well, fortunately we came soon enough to prevent any major damage. It's mostly just the kitchen and the ceiling above it." Charlie let out a relieved sigh. "The smoke damage is still pretty bad. You won't be able to stay in the house because of the air quality. Do you have anywhere else to stay?"

"They'll be staying with us." Billy answered. Charlie was still dazed and I saw Jake trying to fight off a grin.

"We'll take you inside so you can grab a few things now, but it won't be safe until you get the damage repaired"

I packed my clothes in a duffel bag along with some books, my toothbrush and other essentials. Charlie did the same. The fireman escorted us out of the house and Billy and Jacob were still waiting for us outside.

"Billy, you don't have to do this. Me and Bella can stay at a Motel while we wait for them to fix the house."

"Don't be silly Chief Swan. We'd love for you and Bella to stay with us," Jacob was awfully chipper, but I couldn't blame him for not being able to contain his excitement. I was looking forward to staying with the Blacks.

"He's right.You should stay with family," Billy said kindly.

"We really appreciate you doing this." Charlie smiled, but I could tell he was still in a funk. He was probably blaming himself for the fire.

"Don't be so hard on yourself dad, the house will be ready in a week," I said.

"Thanks Bella." He put his arm on my shoulder. "Why don't you ride back with Jacob and I'll bring Billy home in your truck." He probably wanted to talk about the fire or our living arrangements without the kids listening in.

I got into the passenger seat and could see Jacob smiling profusely beside me.

"You know, you could at least try to act a little sad until after we leave my poor burnt house," I said trying to sound hurt. I was smiling as I said it, so my ploy was unsuccessful.

"I'm sorry Bells, but I'm not sad. We're roommates now!" His exuberance was infectious. I just hope some of it would rub off on Charlie later.

"Haha, I guess we are," I stared off pondering. "This week is going to be interesting."

* * *

**I decided to go with the fire hehe. Hmmm...I probably won't go into the specifics of the week next chapter, unless you want me to of course. I'm just trying my best to get to the Cullens' return as soon as I can. Okay, my question for the next chapter is...****If Bella could only bring a few things with her from her house, what would they be? Brownie points if they are Edward related. (Can't be stuff under the floorboards, cause she doesn't know they're there.)**

** Okay, preview, preview. I don't know if I should post it. I came up with so many good ideas, and that's why I can't wait for the Cullens' return. I'm afraid if I post a preview, it might ruin things...Oh to heck with it. I'll just take out the good parts. **

_How dare he try to dazzle me. It all can't just go away. It's not supposed to be this easy._


	6. Best Friends?

**A/N**** Really short chapter sorry. But to make up the difference, I will post the next chapter later today. This one is a set up to how I'm getting the Cullens to return. YAy! I am positive that by the next Chapter, the Cullens will have arrived. After writing this chapter, I'm starting to like Jacob. Lol, the way I have written has made me like him. I'm also starting to really get into this story. Writing is fun. Sorry if some things seem rushed. I re-arranged the way some paragraphs were ordered because it didn't fit right chronologically and I tried to get rid of the school part quick. OH YEAH, almost forgot. Thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate the support. And I really do consider the ideas given for the questions I ask. If I take to long posting, it's because I'm not quite sure where my next chapter is starting...or beginning and that's why I find the ideas so helpful. And that's also why the introduction is malarky. Or at least it is to me. **

The day after the fire, I had dropped Charlie back home in my truck to pick up the cruiser before going to school. Of course, news about the fire spread quickly and I received a lot of condolences. I kept explaining that the damage was only minimal, but I was still treated like a loved one had just died. Most of the pity was from Jessica, but when she found out that I was staying with Jake, she was shocked and thought it was a scandal. Angela on the other hand was more understanding. I didn't like all the attention I got whenever I was in school and always counted the hours until the final bell rang so I could get back to the house and be with Jake.

Time spent at the Black household seemed to fly by so fast. Charlie slept on the Black's couch, insisting that he was '_perfectly fine_' and that it was '_really comfortable_'. I was staying in an unused room which used to belong to Jacob's older sister. She no longer lived there, but there were still shelves full of stuffed animals lining the walls, and a pink, fluffy queen-sized bed was pushed up underneath them. The girly atmosphere suited me just fine, but I could never feel at home staying in her room.

During the night, instead of Jacob coming to see me, I insisted on sneaking into his room, just to get away from all the pink. Charlie kept a constant watch on us making sure I was always in bed by eight, but I was never one to fall asleep that early.

Getting by Charlie wasn't too much of an obstacle, he was always conked out on the couch by ten thirty. The couch must really have been comfortable to him. I spent the last three nights just sitting with Jacob in his room until I was tired enough to sleep. We talked for hours about anything that came to our minds. Jacob was still a little disappointed at the fact that the week hadn't been going exactly as he planned. We both still had school, so we only got to hang out after we came home. Jacob was intent on making up that lost time and that's how we started the late night visits.

"Why can't you just live here all the time?," Jacob asked as I was getting up to go back into his sister's room. He always got antsy whenever I was tired enough to leave his room and go to bed for real.

"Because the insurance company said that our house would be ready by Friday." I sat back on the floor beside Jacob as he began to pout.

"But that's two days from now," he whined. "Don't you like living here?" He looked at me wide-eyed and stuck out his bottom lip. "Can't I keep you?"

"Of course I do, and I don't think Charlie would appreciate it if you held his only daughter hostage." I laughed. Jacob could be really cute when he wanted to be.

"It's not really a hostage situation if the person wants to stay...," he said quietly as his gaze fell to the floor.

"Be serious Jacob. It's not like I'll never come to see you again." I tried to cheer him up, but he was still depressed. "Relax Jake, you're thinking too much about the future. I'll still be here in the meantime."

"You're right," he said, the resolve in his voice growing. "Tomorrow is your second to last day here. We'll make sure the next two days will be the best ever." He was grinning and staring off into space. I could tell he was already brainstorming ideas on what we could do. The past three days were relatively uneventful. We spent our time together mainly just doing homework and talking. We talked a lot, and that didn't even include our nightly sessions.

Feeling like Jake was comforted enough, I let out a loud yawn, careful not to wake Charlie. I got up off the floor and so did Jacob. He wrapped me up in a warm hug.

"Goodnight Bells," he cooed in my ear.

"Goodnight Jacob." I tried unsuccessfully to keep from yawning in his ear.

Jacob hugged me for a long time and only let go when he felt my legs swaying from my exhaustion. I was used to his affectionate hugs by now and was just glad that he decided to start wearing shirts when he slept after I had 'moved in'.

I had grown really close to Jacob the past week. We were inseparable. He was like the little brother I never wanted. I never felt like a big sister to him though. I wasn't quite sure what I was to him

'_Best friends_,' I thought dreamily.

His friends started to take a liking to me too. Especially Embry and Quil. Even Sam was warming up to me. Jacob was right because every trace of unpleasantness I sensed from him faded when I saw him last. He even appeared to have more respect for Jacob.

I let out another yawn, and I began to sway uncontrollably after Jacob let go of me.

"Jacob, I don't think I'm going to make it," I said, my eyes already closed.

"It's alright I got you, go to sleep," he carefully scooped me up and cradled me in his large arms, not forgetting to snuggle his face in my hair. He tiptoed out of his room and into the one I was staying in.

I felt him lay me on the bed and I was going to thank him, but I was too tired and barely even conscious. My eyelids now weighed two tons and refused to open. I felt my forehead get warm where the slight brush of warm lips touched it as he tucked me in. Then my lips got warm, but I was already drifting off into a deep slumber.

**A/N _Oh No He Didn't!!_ Haha, this chapter was pretty simple. I'll post the next chapter soon. Well, it's 1 am now, and I'm going to continue writing the next chapter. So i'll upload this tonight and post the next one in the morning...well, afternoon. It's sunday and I don't wake up that early. Hmm, there's no question this chapter since I'm already beginning to do the next one. Should I do a preview? Hmmm...nah I'm coming up dry here.**

_Ummm...the climax of this story will be told in EPOV first..._**does that count as a preview****  
**


	7. Ditch and Date

**A/N ****Okay, as promised this is the return of the Cullens. This is still a pretty Jacob heavy chapter though. Warning, there is a sort of steamyish part, but it's very brief, and I love putting Jacob in situations. He's so fun now. Enjoy.**

I opened my eyes the next morning after a dreamless night. I knew I didn't dream because ever since I started staying in Jacob's house, I always woke up with my pillow dry. I also felt very refreshed after waking, instead of feeling groggy and heavy. I was seriously pondering Jacob's proposition of staying forever.

I got up and picked out my clothes for day before laying them on the bed. On my way to the bathroom I checked the door to Jacob's room and rolled my eyes. He was probably still asleep.

I sang loudly as I indulged myself in a hot shower, knowing that even if he wasn't still sleeping, Jacob wouldn't be able to hear me through the water running. As soon as I was done I wrapped myself in a towel and reached to open the door. I gasped and jumped back in surprise, dropping my towel in the process.

Right as I opened the door, Jacob was right on the other side of it which I wasn't expecting. He stared at me with his mouth gaping open. His eyes darkened dramatically and there was an expression of amusement, guilt and shock on his face. He was frozen in place. I quickly picked my towel up from the floor, all while trying to cover myself up with my arms, and created a screen between Jacob and myself to block my body from his view. Then I slammed the door in his face.

"JACOB BLACK!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. There was a pause.

"Oh my God! Bella I'm so sorry!" He rambled his apologies at me, although it took a few seconds for him to find his voice.

"Get out of here!!!" I screamed vehement. My face was burning up. My head began to sweat from the extreme blushing I was doing.

I heard his heavy footsteps as he walked swiftly away from the door and into his room. As soon as I heard his door close, I opened the bathroom door and ran to my room as fast as I could. I got dressed quickly and decided to sit on the bed for a while before I dealt with Jake. After a few minutes I heard someone knocking on my door.

"Bells, can I come in?" Jake's muffled voice came through meekly. I sighed loudly and got up to open the door for him.

"Bella I'm so sorry!" he repeated. "I didn't mean to! Please forgive! Don't hate me!" He pleaded.

"I don't hate you Jake." He looked into my eyes apologetically before blushing and looking away. I was blushing too. I was still embarrassed.

"You don't?"

"No Jake, it's just...What the heck were you doing in front of the bathroom door like that!" I was feeling peeved again.

"Sorry," he said again desperately. "It's just that I was sleeping and then I heard singing. Gosh Bella, you have a beautiful voice. I just was just listening and I didn't realize how close I had gotten and then..." He slowly lifted his face to mine again to read my reaction. "you know."

"You heard me?" I was blushing again..._as if I'd ever stopped._

"Yeah, sorry." He still had a look of shame on his face. "But I loved your singing. You really do sound amazing."

"Thanks Jake, but you're never going to hear it again. And stop apologizing, if it was an accident, then I forgive you."

"Of course it was an accident!" He looked hurt. "Besides, there was another reason why I was so eager to see you."

"And what is the reason?" I asked wondering what was so important that he couldn't tell me after school.

"We're ditching." he said simply.

"What? Why? Charlie will kill me."

"First of all, I said that today and tomorrow will be the best days ever didn't I?" I nodded. "And secondly, your dad left for work a while ago, and mine will be at a tribal meeting all day," he smirked at me. "You have no excuse not to ditch. It's a perfect plan."

His reasoning sounded so good to me. And I really did want to do something fun with Jake before I moved back to Charlie's house. I had no tests that day, and I never really looked forward to school anyways. I decided to be impulsive.

"Sure Jake, I'm game. Ditching is healthy every once and a while." He beamed. "So what are we going to do all day?"

"You'll see," he sent a mischievous look my way. "But we should eat some breakfast first."

After breakfast, Jacob took me to a cafe/bookstore in Port Angeles. It was pretty early and he had told me that since not many things were open yet, we might as well go somewhere he knew I would enjoy myself. I was suspicious of what he needed to be open, but those suspicions died after I had laid eyes the vast collection of books the store had. We spent the better part of the morning reading. Well, I curled up to a couple of books in the reading area while he watched me. He did begin reading with me_, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,_a classic, but couldn't help sneaking glances at me every so often. When I noticed his page hadn't been turned in half an hour, that's when he dropped all pretenses.

It was little awkward being watched like that, but it wasn't creepy at all. It felt safe to have someone watching over me. I barely even noticed once I became engrossed in the books I read. I would have felt bad for keeping Jacob there for so long while I read, but he seemed totally content just sitting there with me.

At noon, we went to eat at a Japanese place and I had asked him why we hadn't just gone to a fast food restaurant. Eating at fancy places wasn't exactly Jacob's style. His excuse was that it wouldn't be a best day ever if we had eaten elsewhere. The weird thing was that he paid for my meal. I always paid for myself and felt bad having him spend money on me. He had already bought me a couple of books earlier that day. I tried pay for my own food when the check came, but he was so insistent and gave me his puppy-dog eyes that were so darn effective that I just gave in.

"Bella, just let me do this," he sighed. "You'll need your energy for what's coming up next, so don't waste it fighting useless battles with me."

"What are we doing now?" I knew our next activity would be what he was waiting for all day. He just smiled and took my hand to lead me back to the car.

We pulled up in the parking lot in front of a large looped road.

"Go-karts?" I asked Jacob surprised. "You're taking me go-karting?" He chuckled as he pulled me towards the rental booths.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, I haven't forgotten." He pointed to his head. "You have a need for speed. Now what kind of friend would I be if I didn't try to fulfill that need."

I smiled. This actually sounded exciting. He paid once again for our rental karts and we got into our vehicles. Mine was purple and his was red. I squeezed comfortably into mine, while Jacob, with some effort, awkwardly got into his. I stared at him for a while and started laughing uncontrollably.

"What?" he asked nervously.

"I'm sorry Jacob," I said still laughing hard. "It's just that, you're so huge, It's like those clown cars where a dozen clowns come out!" I was wiping tears from my eyes. I couldn't get the mental image of him stuck in the kart out of my head.

"You know Bells, I guess I'll just have to wipe that smile on your face by beating you bad." He revved his engine and shrugged. "It's a shame too, since you have such a pretty smile."

"You wanna go, Black?" I revved my engine as well.

"Okay. On your mark." He locked eyes with me and then kept his eyes on the road in front of him. "Get set-"

I took off not waiting for him to finish. I turned around briefly and waved goodbye to him while sticking my tongue out.

"You cheat Bella Swan!" He was racing towards me almost catching up but not quite.

We spent most of the afternoon racing each other. The last time I checked, I had won four rounds and he had three. We stopped racing and decided to head back at four o' clock because the small kart began to take its toll on Jacob's tall frame.

"So did you have fun?" Jacob asked as we drove back to his house.

"Yes. Thanks Jake." I beamed at him.

We drove home talking about who was the better driver on the track. I had won of course, but he was so sure that my driving was reckless and told me that he wanted to drive the right way and that's why he lost. I was about to get him on his lame excuse when the cold got to my body and I shivered in response. I didn't bring a jacket with me.

"You're cold," Jacob frowned. "Sorry, I should have brought you a jacket."

"It's fine." I said rubbing my arms up and down.

"No it's not. You can at least close your window."

_'wait' _I thought to myself as he said those words.

"Jacob, I need you to drop me off at my house." I said urgently.

"Why? Is something wrong?"

"No, I just...forgot something." He saw my hesitance. I couldn't tell him why I really needed to go home. He'd think I was crazy.

"Well, you're going back home soon anyway, can't it wait?"

"No, I'd rather take care of it now." I pressed. I needed to make sure my window was secured. Now that I remembered, my mind wouldn't let me rest until I knew it was locked.

We got to the street I lived on when I saw Jacobs eyes darken. It was different than this morning, his pupils weren't dilated this morning.

"Jake...are you okay?" He didn't respond. He drove faster and stuck his nose up in the air smelling something. I did the same thing, but didn't smell anything.

He drove faster and faster past my house.

_'wait a minute...'_

There was a black Mercedes parked in front of my house. I knew that car.

"Jacob stop." He wasn't listening. "Jacob stop right now!" I pounded my fists against his rock hard arms. He seemed to barely notice, but pulled over to the curb three houses down from mine.

"Bella, I changed my mind I don't think you should go anymore." He said with a sense of urgency.

"Jacob, I know that car," I said as got out and starting running to my house. Jacob didn't follow. I turned around once I got to my house and saw Jacob speeding away. I wasn't too worried about being left behind at the moment.

I stared at the black car running my fingers against the veneer. I knew _this_ car.

'_No_...'

I stepped inside and found that the door was opened. I heard something in the kitchen. I took a deep breath and walked over. What I saw made my insides twist in a knot. In the kitchen was a vision standing with their back to me. White skin, paler than my own. Yet so beautiful. More beautiful than a person should be allowed to be. I couldn't believe who it was. I didn't want to believe. I tried to find the words as the person turned around the face me.

"...J...Jasper?"

**A/N Dun Dun DUN! I tried to make that last scene just like how it happened in the book. Well, that was their return...It still counts. It took me the longest time to think of what Jacob and Bella were going to do once they ditched. I was thinking motorcyles or cliff diving, but that would have been too much of a stretch. Hmmm...a question for the next chapter...umm...not really a "question" question, but is there anything off in this story? Just want to make sure there aren't any discrepancies. If there are, be sure to point them out and I'll try to fix them. Also, if you have any ideas, feel free to mention them too. I have a general idea of what's going to happen, I just need to figure out how and that's when your help comes in handy. **

** The preview is...Well this isn't really a preview either, but I want something to happen and I'm not sure if it's too over the top. I don't want to post it here because if I do do it, it will ruin the surprise. So if you want to help, just tell me and I'll ask you the question. It's not really a big thing, just a small action I'm considering. It won't happen for a couple of chapters so I'm asking now because I haven't started it yet.**


	8. Emotional

**A/N**** Here ya go. Longest chapter yet. I'm not sure if I got the grief down right. Maybe its just not as potent for me because I'm the one writing it?**

"_...J...Jasper?"_

I was frozen in place. A well of emotion burst inside of me. I wasn't sure if it was sadness or happiness I was feeling. I tried to speak but my motor functions stopped working and I couldn't stop staring. What was a_Cullen_- I spat the words out in my head- doing in my house? My face flushed and my heartbeat quickened to a pace it hadn't reached in a long time. I saw Jasper looking at me, there was guilt in his eyes. He wasn't breathing.

"Hello...Bella." There was grief when he said my name.

"W-wh...what are-"

Before I could form a coherent sentence, someone came bounding down the stairs.

I couldn't understand what was going on. Staring at me from the foot of the stairs was a pixie like girl, wide eyed and smiling with her intensely white teeth blinding me a little. Her black hair was short and wispy accentuating her very fair skin.

"Alice," was all I could whisper before the perky vampire lunged at me with her arms spread open.

I tried to run out of the way, but my human reactions could never be fast enough to dodge her. She hugged me, lifting me off the ground, even though I was inches taller than her. She pushed her cheek up against mine as she squeezed me and I couldn't take the coldness that emanated from her. It stung me to my core. Goosebumps spread all over me and and I instantly hated the feeling of them prickling off my skin. If I could tear my flesh off, I would.

As soon as she dropped me back down, I ran. I ran passed her heading towards the door, but just as I was going to reach for the doorknob, my feet tangled and I tripped. Before my face made contact with the floor, I was in _her_ arms again. Berated my the cold again. Recoiling from her touch I backed away quickly. I huddled myself against the wall near the door feeling trapped. Wrapping my arms around my legs, I sunk my head in between my knees and began rocking myself back and forth, closing my eyes tight as the tears fell. I didn't want to open them and embraced the darkness that greeted me. I couldn't see them as long as my eyes were closed. I was silently praying that by the time my eyes opened again, they would be gone.

"You're not real. You're not real," I chanted to myself. I repeated these words over and over as I tried to get my body to stop involuntarily shaking.

"Bella..." I heard her musical voice, all the exuberance she once had was gone.

"You're not real! You're not real!" I rose my voice drowning out her words before they reached my ears.

I felt something cold press against my arm.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!!!" I screamed. The cold hand that was reaching out to me left, but the spot on my arm that it touched was violently breaking out with more goosebumps.

My eyes were swollen as I tried so hard to push them closed. It only quickened the pace in which the tears dropped. I took in a deep breath. And another one. I was hyperventilating. I felt the the darkness that I sought in my mind spread all over my body. Worse still was that it was never darkness that I was embracing. It was a black hole. The wrecking ball was pounding again, threating to break through my chest. At the same time, the hole in my stomach was starting to give me physical pain. I focused on my breathing. One thing at a time. I exhaled carefully, but couldn't control it. Each outtake of air from my lungs escaped in a choking sob. After a lot more tries, my breathing slowed, not at a normal pace, but slow enough to block out the sobs. Two more problems to go.

I slowly pulled my head out from between my soaked knees. With my eyes still closed, I looked up and began to open them.

Alice was still there kneeling in front of me. At first I thought I was looking in a mirror. Her expression was so torn. I looked up and saw Jasper standing above her. He was leaning against the opposite wall with his eyes shut. His fists were clenched tightly and I saw him shudder.

I stared at the two of them and I felt calmness begin to take me over. I knew what he was doing and willed Jasper to let it happen. I immediately began to start feeling better. The pain was leaving my being. Comfort was washing over me slowly drowning out all the hurt. When it suddenly stopped, I felt the waves of calm withdrawing. I was being pulled back in, deeper into the black hole and Jasper couldn't save me. He let out a soft cry and moved himself as far as he could from me. He crouched down in the same position as me and began to tremble, rocking himself back and forth just as I was.

"Bella...You have to stop. Please! Let him help you!" Alice was begging me.

"I can't," I choked out. "He can't." I truly did want him to help me. I didn't like feeling this way. I was having a break down. This was it. This was the feeling that came back to me every night in my dreams. This is what I fought so hard to avoid remembering every morning.

"Bella, please you can." She was looking desperately at me, and back at Jasper who I was dragging back with me into my black hole. "Jasper try again. Please! Bella, you have to work with him!" She was speaking frantically as if our lives depended on it.

I felt another wave of calm brush through me, but this time, I didn't let it drown out my pain. It could never do that. The hole was too big for him to fill alone. I held my breath and tried to bury it. I buried it and pushed back inside me, as far away as I could. I felt nothing anymore. I let myself blank away any emotion so Jasper could rebuild me.

"I- I think I'm better now." I stood to get up. I no longer held any illusions about their presence here. They were here and I had to face that, only not there was a confidence in me that I didn't have before.

Just as I stood up, Jasper did too. Alice looked at me and her eyes narrowed. She stopped breathing abruptly. Jasper who was panting and breathing heavily just a few moments before stopped too.

"I'm sorry. I have to go." He kissed Alice on the cheek and gave me another despaired look before running out the door.

I pressed my fingers above my lips and inspected it. My nose was bleeding. I looked at Alice, afraid of what her reaction would be.

"I'm fine Bella. I can handle it," she said, not looking at me.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a paper towel to block the bleeding. Alice followed me every step of the way, still holding her breath.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I came back, but I had to see you." I had nothing to say. I didn't know what to say, so I waited for her to say something. "Can we talk, please?"

I still couldn't find words. I simply nodded at her request and followed her as she went to sit on the couch in the living room. I sat next to her, but a cushion away keeping my distance.

"I didn't know it was like this Bella." Her voice still sounded musical, only now the song was a sad one. "I thought if I brought Jasper, it would help. I didn't know...I didn't think that..," she stopped, trying to find the words.

I noticed now that Jasper was gone, I felt the darkness creeping up on me again. This time though, I knew it was only darkness. I would be able to handle it. For now.

"Ed-"

"Stop." The word came instinctively before she could finish.

"I'm sorry." She stared at the space between us.

"Why are you here Alice? Why did you come back?" My voice was surprisingly calm.

"I had a vision," she said glancing back in the direction of the kitchen. "I saw a fire in your house, and there were police and a firetruck, but I didn't see you or Charlie. I wasn't sure what happened, but I thought you were dead Bella.

"An hour later, I got another vision of you. I didn't understand what was happening. I saw you. You were alive, and I was happy. But there was something off."

"What do you mean?"

"I saw you Bella, and I would see you talking. Every time I would check to see try and make sense of things, I would almost always see you talking. The weird thing is, is that you were always talking to yourself. I was worried about you. Sometimes you would be laughing or be in a deep conversation...with yourself."

I thought about what she said. The fire did happen, but I never talked to myself. I wasn't crazy. She saw the confused look on my face.

"I'm glad that you're okay," she rethought her words. "Safe, I mean. Tell me what happened after the fire."

"Me and Charlie went to stay with the Blacks, down at La Push." I thought about Jake and what he was doing and why he still wasn't with me at that exact moment.

"La Push?" Alice sounded frightened. "Bella, you mustn't stay there!"

"I'm not. Not anymore. The house will be ready tomorrow." I wanted to ask why she cared about me staying with the Blacks, but decided against it. I was angry. She left me, what business did she have with who my friends were? I would have snapped back at her, but she changed the subject.

"Bella, there's more than one reason for why I came." She took a deep breath, apparently better, now that my nose had stopped bleeding. "Ed-"

"St-" She pressed on, interrupting my interruption.

"Edward," she emphasized his name. "has been away from us for sometime. The whole family hasn't really been together since we left." She paused watching my expression. "Well, I had a vision of you because I'm so used to you. I was still in tune with you.

"It's the same thing with Jasper. He's in tune with Edward," I flinched at the sound of his name. "You saw him earlier. How he was when you...when you gave in to sorrow. You weren't like that before, because Jasper probably wouldn't even be sane if he had to deal with your pain too."

She said Jasper couldn't handle my pain _too._ Was she talking about _him_?

"You see, even though he's gone, Jasper can still feel his emotions. It's horrible Bella. Sometimes he just can't cope. _They_ can't cope. Jasper is like that all the time now, and that just means...," she trailed off.

"What does that have to do with me?" I asked not wanting to have this conversation anymore.

"Bella, it has _everything_ to do with you." She looked at me, pleading to me with her eyes. "I brought Jasper hoping he would be safe here, considering that he was getting nothing off of you recently."

"Recently? I haven't broken down like that since..." My mind flashed to a meadow, but I quickly pushed it back away as another part of me was being enveloped in the darkness.

"He feels it from him. All the time. But it gets worse at night. That's when it becomes unbearable. I can't stand seeing him that way." She closed her eyes. I knew that if she could cry, she would.

"My nightmares..."

"Yes. I wouldn't have come, but the nights stopped being so unbearable for Jasper. And it all happened after I had those visions of you. I didn't know what I was going to find once I came, but I brought him along with me hoping to fix this."

I felt bad for Jasper, but there was still something I needed to know.

"Who else did you tell about your visions Alice?" she looked up to me, a small smile forming on her lips.

"Well, I only told Jasper." She was smiling at me and that worried me. "But that doesn't mean others couldn't have overheard." There was a gleam in her eye.

My heart sunk. I couldn't handle anymore visits, especially not from _him._

"Don't worry, It's not who you think. I dragged Jasper here with me before telling him anything. We were running near the forests that border Forks and I decided it was best to tell him before we actually saw anyone. I explained to him about the fire I saw in my vision. And I told him you were dead." She was smiling awfully hard despite the terrible sentence she just uttered.

I was about to say something and she saw the hurt look on my face. I was still confused.

"Wait, I'm not finished. After I told him, I heard a soft hiss and some trees rustling. We tried to catch the eavesdropper, but found nothing. We inspected the place where we heard the noises coming from and smelled her."

"Her?" Who in the world could they have smelled to make her smile so much. There's only one person that I could think of, but the person certainly wasn't a _her_.

"Victoria," her tone turned dark.

"Victoria?" I was shaking now.

"Yes," she said quietly. "She was going to kill you. For killing James, she was going to kill you to get back at Edward. She thinks you're dead now. I checked and she is not going to go through with it. Believe me, I saw what she had planned. It was horrible, but you're safe Bella. She's not going to come after you."

I leaned back against the couch. This was too much information for me to handle. I was feeling faint. Just as I was about to slip into unconsciousness, the door bell rang. Repeatedly, which brought me back to my senses. I looked at Alice and she had a disgusted look in her face with her nose crinkled.

I got up feeling woozy, grabbing the couch for support. I went to answer the door still leaning on things for support. I opened it and the darkness started to retreat. Jake was standing there on the other side with a grimace, but I was still happy he was there.

Before I could greet him, Alice walked by me and out of the door. She stopped after passing Jake and looked back at me.

"Bye Bella, I'll see you again soon." She and Jacob gazed at each other with mutual disgust and hate, then she continued to walk back into the black Mercedes and drove away. Jasper probably ran back leaving the car for Alice.

Jacob turned to me taking a few seconds to gather himself. Then, not too unexpectedly, he got me into one of his bear hugs.

"Bella I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave you like that." He squeezed me hard. It felt nice to be in his arms. Everything was so simple and I felt safe again.

"Jake it's okay." I thought about what to say. I couldn't tell him about the Cullens, but I stuck as close to the truth as I could. "Some old friends just decided to visit...it got emotional."

"I'm still sorry. I promise, I'll never leave you like that again." I didn't understand what the problem was between Alice and Jake, but I still wasn't angry at either of them.

"Don't beat yourself up. You have no reason to be upset. You came back didn't you?" I smiled at him, trying to get him to stop feeling so guilty. "Why did you leave me anyway?" I was stung a little when he left me, but I was still curious. I never once doubted that he wouldn't come back though. I didn't have my truck.

"Umm...I just had to tell the guys something." He was keeping something from me. I gave him a questioning look. "Seriously Bells, it was really important, I couldn't go with you. It's complicated."

I knew that Jake's dad hated the Cullens, so I just let it slide. I didn't need to know the details.

"Okay, just take me back home." I was feeling really tired. It was the first time I remember crying in a week, and I forgot how much it drained me.

"Yeah," he grabbed my hand leading me to his car. "The day's not over yet. And we still got tomorrow." He was swinging my arm back and forth as we walked. I leaned onto him, still a little tired. For a moment I saw his nose scrunch up and sniff something in the air. Was it the smoke still? I tried to copy what the others have been doing since I came back here, but I still couldn't smell anything. His face went back to normal and I just let him walk me back to our ride.

"One more day," I said to myself.

* * *

**A/N**** See? I dealt with Vicky and now she's gone forever. Whoopee doo. I want to finish this story, but I'm not sure how many chapters it will be. I already have 3 or 4 ideas for new stories hehe. I'll finish this one first because I don't want to multi task. If you don't like the direction this story is going, just remember to tell me. It helps.**


	9. Bedbye

**A/N**** Okay, I totally wasn't planning what happens in this chapter out. I couldn't resist. Sorry If you're a Jacob hater, but this is more Jacoby goodness. It's a short chapter, and I only meant for this to be a transitional one, but I guess it's not anymore.**

** _Okay, just a reminder, if you suddenly think that Jake is OOC, he isn't. Not to me at least. Remember, Bella got in touch with him _**_after** he became a werewolf. The Jake I'm using is the "my Jake" in the book. He is that all the time. He never got the chance to stop being "her" Jake. And plus, now he's leader of the pack, so he's not repressed.**_**  
**

When we got home I went straight to bed. I was tired, too tired to do anything else that Jacob may have planned for the night. And the fluffiness. The pink over the top fluffiness of the bed was calling out to me. Once I lay down on it, I was too comfortable to get up. He followed me into the room and sat next to me on the bed. I didn't mind his company. I was so used to staying up with him at night, that being in his presence while I drifted off was only natural.

"Are you going to see her?" he asked. I stopped snuggling my face against the soft silk pillows to look up at him.

"See who?"

"You're v-..." he hesitated. "visitor," he spat out the word. "She said she'd see you soon. How soon?"

"Alice? I'm not sure." I started thinking of her words. She said she would see me again. I looked forward to her visiting again, but she would always be a reminder of things I didn't like to remember. I wondered how long it would be until she left me again. I knew she wasn't here to stay. "She'll probably just catch me when I least expect it."

He flinched at my words.

"Well, you'll be moving back to your house pretty soon," he looked at me solemnly. "Even though I wish you'd just stay here. You'd be totally welcome. My dad loves having a girl in the house again and so do I. I know he'd want you to stay just for your cooking alone," he laughed softly. "It will be so weird to not have you around because...you're family now Bella. You don't know how empty it will feel once you're gone Bella. Not hearing you're laughter ring through the house, not seeing you blush at every little thing, I'd even miss hearing you scream at me. I don't think I can handle it. I wish you'd just stay Bella. Just stay."

His face was heart-breaking. He knew I couldn't. He knew I wanted to. But I couldn't. I placed my hand up against his warm cheek and he closed his eyes at my touch. I wanted to say something, but I didn't know how to refuse him, not when what he wanted was something I wanted so badly too. I never wanted to leave, but I would have to...with Charlie, back into the real world. He opened his eyes and looked at me trying to determine my response, even though he knew what it would be.

His eyes tugged at me, invoking the entirety of my being. They weren't like his puppy-dog eyes. The way he was looking at me now was much more deeper and significant. He was looking at me like he needed me.

I couldn't utter the words. I just shook my head telling him no. Strangely my eyes began to wet and a tear streamed down my eye. He wiped them off with his thumbs as he rested his own hand on my cheek. He breathed out a long sigh and shook off the disappointment from his face.

"I understand. It's just, I won't be around you as much."

"But Jake, I'll-"

"Bella, we'll be miles apart," he looked away from me as if trying not to think exactly _how_ far. "But, I need...I need you to make me a promise."

"Anything," I said before thinking. He looked back to me and let out a sad smile.

"Bella. I need you to promise me that if one of you're friends comes to visit you again...I need you to call me." His eyes were determined now.

"Jacob, why does it matter who I'm visited by?" I wasn't expecting what he asked me.

"Please, can you just promise me that one thing? I can't explain, It's just one of those things. I need you to trust me. Please?"

"Jake I'll always trust you. If it means that much to you, I'll call you."

Calling him when I saw Alice wouldn't be a big deal. It's not like I expected to get many visits from her or the family anyway. If that's what it took to give Jake his peace of mind, I would do it.

"Thank you Bella." He was smiling at me now. "You don't know how much that means to me."

"It's just a phone call Jacob. If it will make you so happy, give me the phone right now and I'll ring you up. As far as promises go, you let me off pretty easy."

"It's not that. You're trust. You said that you trust me, Bella."

"Silly Jake. I said I'll_ always _trust you."

He grabbed my hand in his. He looked happy. Not just because he was smiling at me. My words had meant something to him. _I _had made him happy.

Then, I did something that I never had before. I sat myself up and gave _him _a bear hug. I wasn't so tired anymore. He hugged me back and we just stayed like that enjoying each other's closeness.

His body was warm, and I was feeling that same warmness all over my body and inside of me. I felt so...safe. Glad. Sane. Whole.

When we finally pulled apart, he placed my face in between his large hands. My eyes were fixated on his lips while he mouthed out the words '_thank you_'. I was still watching his lips when I gave in to the urge and leaned over to place my own over them.

His eyes widened in surprise, but he settled down as we looked at each other's eyes while he kissed me back. The kiss was long and we never broke each other's gaze. I was the one who pulled away.

"I'm sorry," I stammered out as I took in deep breaths.

Jacob was smiling ear to ear and swept a strand of hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear.

"Sorry for what?" he spoke softly. "Sorry for this?"

He kissed me again softly and I couldn't help but smile against his mouth. He wrapped me in his arms and dragged us back into the bed. I was laying with his arms around me as I rested my head against his chest. He was brushing the hair on my head affectionately and I closed my eyes ready to fall asleep in his arms.

"Bells?" he was talking to me with pure innocence in his voice.

"Yes, Jake?," I refused to open my eyes as I responded.

"Are you just going to sleep now?"

"Yes, I've had quite an eventful day." I couldn't help but smile some more.

"Don't you think Charlie will be mad if he sees me and you on the same bed?" he asked teasingly.

"Let him see. I'll deal with the wrath of Chief Swan tomorrow," I yawned. "In the mean time, you stay put. I'm too comfortable right now."

"I wasn't planning to leave. In fact, I think I'm stuck here Bella. We'll have to go through life with you never leaving my arms."

"I think I can manage." That didn't sound too bad. I placed my hands on his and he tightened his hold on me. "But how would we go to the bathroom? Maybe we should try getting unstuck." I motioned myself as if to get up. His grip on me only tightened.

"You're not getting away from me that easily Bella Swan."

"Okay. I was bluffing anyways. I'm too tired to get up." I settled back into him.

We lay there for a while and every once in a while Jacob would place a kiss on my head. I snuggled up against him. His body provided enough heat, I didn't even bother to use a blanket. I felt myself drifting off as I listened to the lullaby that was Jacob's pattering heartbeat.

"Bella?"

"Hmmmm..." I was too tired to form words.

"Would you sing for me?"

I wasn't going to answer. Everyone of my muscles was too relaxed to move. I had to force myself to respond, and that too only came out as a soft murmur.

"Someday Jake. Someday..."

**A/N**** Awwww. I can't believe I made that happen. That's right. I made Bella kiss Jake. Not the other way around. And yes, she still has the vampire stink. I didn't make Jacob mention it because he can hardly talk about her taking a shower after what happened earlier that day. (Ditch and Date) Sorry Jacob haters, but don't worry. I'm sorry if I made you think that this was over soon when I said last chapter that I wanted to finish this, but believe me, it's not even close to finishing. I haven't even gotten to the chapter which I consider the climax! ** **I already know what's going to happen next chapter, and it might end in a little cliffy. It will probably be a long one. Do you guys want more Jacob chapters? I was going to do an alice chapter dealing with her pov after she left, but decided against it. I was wondering if i should do a Jacob one and elaborate about the pack and his role and Bella too of course. If not, I'll just keep going on with the Bella pov.**


	10. Surprise me never

**A/N Umm...Okay. So far, on my stats page, the hits for chapter 4 is 240. The hits for chatper 5 is 246. The hits for chapter7 is 151. The hits for chapter 8 is 164. Are some people skipping chapters? Haha you guys make me **"_L_"**all **"_O_"**ver my **"_L_"**. Really long chapter. Really. I think I'm updating too often. It's like everyday now. It takes me about four hours to do a full chapter...of course that's with my headphones on and the tv playing. I needs my multimedia. OH and Happy Valentine's day!!! **

It was the middle of the night when the sound of muffled voices stirred me from my sleep. I was still resting on Jacob and it must have been only a couple of hours later because I was still very tired. I tried to go to back to sleep, but the voices just outside of the bedroom door kept me awake.

Jake went undisturbed as he continued to sleep. Even now, he was still wrapping me up in his arms tightly. The steady sounds of his breathing comforted me as my head moved along with the rise and fall of his chest. I didn't want to wake Jacob from his sleep, even though I doubted I would be able to without starting up my truck...or singing, apparently. I continued to listen to the voices, waiting for it to go away so I could rest in peace.

"I will not have my daughter sleeping in the same room with a teenage boy!" Charlie's voice was what had wakened me. It was clearly angry, rising above the voice of the other. "Let alone the same bed!"

"Charlie, don't over react," Billy's voice was soothing and patient. "They're were just tired. It's perfectly innocent. Let them sleep, please. You can chew them out in the morning."

"Billy, how can you let this happen under your own roof! It's not right. Bella is still young, there is nothing innocent about her and Jacob sleeping in the same bed!"

"Charlie, I trust my son. Do you trust your daughter? We've seen them lounged on the couch together watching T.V before. This is no different from that."

"Billy, I can't just let this go. It doesn't feel right," said Charlie, his voice getting softer.

"If you are going to wake them Charlie, then I can't stop you." His voice didn't sound defeated, despite what he had just said.

I heard the door begin to open and I immediately closed my eyes, pretending to be deep in sleep. Their voices were clearer now and I had been waiting for Charlie to come and yank me away from Jacob. Charlie didn't seem to take a step past the doorway, but I could feel his eyes on us as he stood there.

"You see Charlie," said Billy. "It's all very quite sweet. You have nothing to worry about. I doubt even you can pull them apart."

Charlie didn't say a word. I wanted to see what expression he had on his face, but like a coward I just went on with my act.

"Charlie. Do you remember what you told me the day of the fire? What you warned me about when you drove us back here after leaving your house?"

"Yes," Charlie said. I could tell he was still watching me, us, while he spoke. "I told you why I wanted Bella and I to stay at a motel. I warned you about the nightmares, and how she screamed every night. How she was always crying while she slept," he sighed heavily. "And I could do nothing about it because I doubt she even remembers when it happens and she refuses to acknowledge it herself."

"Well, I have never once heard the screaming that you mentioned. And from the looks of it, my son seems to be pretty dry at the moment," Billy said with affection in his tone.

Charlie sighed once again.

"You know, I was grateful that that awful Cullen had finally stopped tormenting her in her dreams after we started staying here. I told myself it was because she just needed to get out of the house. But now...I just hope that this lasts even after we move back home tomorrow."

"Speaking of which Charlie, Jacob was talking to me... Bella would be welcome to-"

"No," Charlie interrupted as if he knew what his old friend was getting at. I had a feeling I knew what Billy was trying to say too. "I've made my peace with tonight. You won't get me to budge any further."

"I had to try." Billy let out a weary laugh. "C'mon, let's give the kids their rest." I heard the door close, and their muffled voices from the other side of it.

"Umm, Billy..."

"What is it?"

"Can we maybe, not tell Renee about this?" Charlie asked nervously.

I heard them both laugh and then walk away.

The next morning I awoke feeling fully rested. I looked up and Jacob was looking down at me already awake.

"Was it just me, or was that the best night's sleep you've ever gotten?" he asked.

"Hmmm...I'll get back to you on that." I replied playfully. He placed another kiss on my head.

I tried pushing myself up, but Jacob would not loosen his hold on me, keeping me in his warm embrace.

"Jake, I need to get up. You know, school?"

"I'm sorry Bella. I told you, I'm stuck."

"Let go Jake. Please? I don't feel like being late today. Unless you plan on us ditching again today?"

He released me reluctantly and we both sat ourselves up on the bed.

"As much as I'd love to keep you all to myself on your last day here, I don't think we should ditch today."

I was surprised that he was the one being responsible, but I agreed with him. If he kept me here again, I may never leave. I got up and gathered my clothes for school. He was watching and came to hug me once I had gotten all my stuff prepared.

"And what will you be singing today, Ms. Swan?" I blushed in his arms.

"Very funny, there better not be a repeat of what happened yesterday. That was just terrible," I said.

He broke us apart and placed his hands on my shoulders. He gave me a kiss on the forehead and looked directly into my eyes.

"Terrible for you, maybe," he let out a sly grin. I was blushing even harder and turned away from him.

I decided to bring my change of clothes along with me as I made my way to take a shower.

I got out of the bathroom when I was done, and fortunately Jacob wasn't there to greet me. I walked back to the room and found that Jacob was lying on the bed again.

"Jacob, aren't you going to get ready? You'll be late." I hoped he wasn't going to try to get me to ditch again. He had just told me that he wanted me to go to school an hour before.

"I can't go, I'm sick. I think I've got the love bug," he said clutching his chest.

I felt uncomfortable at his casual use with the word 'love', but let it pass as just playful banter.

"Jake, you have to go to school. You can't ditch."

"Yes, I can."

"Then I'll keep you company," I sat on the bed.

"'kay," he said simply and I laid myself down beside him.

He wrapped an arm around me and I snuggled in closer to him. We just laid by each other not talking, which was a first for us. He never stopped smiling while he stared at me and occasionally gave me Eskimo kisses. After a long while of just laying in bed, Jacob spoke up.

"Bella...You should go to school now."

"What, I thought we were ditching?" I asked confused.

"I am, but you should probably go to school."

"You don't want me to stay with you?" I was afraid. I didn't know why he didn't want me around him anymore.

"Bella, I asked you a million times to stay with me. That offer won't ever expire. I just think you should go to school because I have things I need to get done. I doubt I'd ever get up from this bed if you were here with me."

"What are you going to do?" I was reassured now, but he had piqued my interest. What could he possibly need to do?

"All the guys are ditching today. We're going to do some manly stuff." He deepened his voice as he spoke the last sentence.

"Manly stuff?" I laughed. "Alright, but you'll be here when I get home? It's still supposed to be one of the best days ever." He smiled at me.

"Of course Bells, like I could ever forget that."

I checked for the time and groaned. Jacob was looking at me smugly.

"Jacob, why did you have to keep me for so long if you didn't want me to ditch? I'm going to be half an hour late now."

He pulled me closer to his face and kissed me. The first of the day.

"I know," he just smiled at me, not feeling the least bit guilty.

I ran out of the house and drove to school, not bothering to speed because I was late already anyways. I got to my first class during the middle of a lecture, and received one hour of detention after school. I was angry, but decided it served Jacob right, for keeping me occupied so long. Now I would keep him waiting...in detention.

The day went on normally, but it was a bit more dismal than usual now that there was the promise of detention looming over my head. At lunch I sat at a table with Angela and Jessica. Angela was carrying on normal conversations with me, but Jessica didn't even talk to me. She had spoken to me briefly when I tried to start up a conversation with her, but she avoided looking at me while she talked.

"Jess, did I do something?" I asked, getting paranoid by her behavior.

"No," she answered with as little words as possible. Much like how she had been speaking to me all day.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No," she got up from her seat. "I'm done now. I'll talk to you later. Bye Bella, bye Angela."

She quickly walked away and I turned to Angela with a bewildered look on my face. She just smiled softly.

"Don't mind her, Bella. She's just a bit on edge today. She's not mad at you or anything."

I shrugged and continued eating my lunch, hearing quiet giggles coming from Angela every so often.

When the day ended, I served my hour detention. I didn't know anyone in there, and it was excruciating. I finished all my homework too early and spent the remainder of the time thinking of Jake. I didn't care about punishing him anymore. I just wanted to go home already.

When we were finally released, I wasn't surprised to find that everyone had left. My truck look so lonely as I walked to it and drove to the Blacks' residence.

'_KPOK_!'

I parked my truck expecting Jacob to run out of the house and greet me with a hug. When he didn't come, I got out a bit disappointed and made my way to the door. The lights were off.

_'Jacob isn't home yet...'_ I thought.

I felt lonely. I sighed and reached for the door. Suddenly, the lights turned on and I nearly let out a shriek.

"SURPRISE!!!"

The whole room screamed at me. I found Angela, and Jessica, and Mike and almost everyone I knew from school inside waiting for me. The house was filled with balloons, and music started blaring loudly in the background. There was a huge banner hung against the wall that read '_Farewell_'.

I was shocked. '_It's not my Birthday_!' was what I wanted to shout back, but I bit my tongue. I saw Jacob break through the crowd to greet me and all of my outrage dissolved. He grabbed me and gave me a kiss...in front of my peers and all his friends.

"Ooooooooh!" The whole room teased.

I blushed harder than ever and found the will to push him away. I saw Mike turn as red as me from the corner of my eye. I also heard more than a few cat calls coming from Jake's friends. I was going to die.

"Jacob!"

"Sorry," he shrugged. "I just missed you."

"What is all this?" I asked. "How?"

"This is your last day here...unfortunately. You didn't think I could let you leave without throwing you a farewell party?"

"But how?" I was still overwhelmed. I felt touched that he would do all this for me.

"Well, you may not think it, but party planning and decorating are some pretty manly activities. The guys enjoyed it very much." I looked over at his friends and they smiled at me and waved. "I'm sorry about the detention, but I had to get rid of you somehow."

I was so flattered. What he had done for me. It was so thoughtful. I gave him another kiss.

"But, how'd you get all my friends here?"

"Well, that was the easy part. I just had to call that Jessica girl you know and she sort of did the whole inviting thing by herself."

"No wonder she was acting so weird today..."

I spent most of the night with Jake, and he followed close to me while I mingled. Everyone seemed to be having a fun time. Mike tried asking me to dance, but Jessica had pulled him away before I could decline. The party began to dwindle at around 10:00 and soon, only a couple of us were left, including Angela.

"Thank you so much," I gave Angela a friendly hug.

"Bella, this was all Jake. I just helped him a little."

"No. I mean, thank you for everything. You're such a good friend. I wouldn't even be here with Jake if it wasn't for you." She gave me a warm smile.

"I'm just glad you're happy again."

Jacob and his friends began to clean up the mess and I went to help. Before I could begin, Jacob pulled me aside.

"You're not cleaning."

I was going to protest, but he interrupted.

"Go get your stuff ready, Charlie should be back soon and he's already packed."

I did as I was told and finished just as Charlie walked into the house.

"Bella, let's go. Are you ready? Oh, and I hope you had fun at your party."

I grabbed my stuff and met Charlie at the door. Charlie thanked Billy and said goodbye to Jake before he walked back to his car. Jake kissed me again deeply and hugged me tight as we said our long goodbyes.

When I was ready to leave, I kissed him again and got in my truck. Charlie was probably already at the house.

I stepped in to the house and it felt so weird to be home. Charlie was in his room already and I just stood at the foot of the stairs, thinking. The last time I was here was just a day ago, but that might as well have been a lifetime ago. Alice had sprung so much on me. Her and Jasper had caught me so unawares, I even forgot to do what I had originally came here to do.

_My window..._

I walked up the stairs trying not to trip. My window was open. I forgot to close it after I found Alice, but I felt happy knowing I could close it tonight. I yawned feeling bushed from the party and went to the bathroom and got myself ready for bed. When I was finished I went into my room closing the door behind me, not even bothering to turn the lights on. It was cold in my room, but not quiet.

Somewhere in the darkness of my room, I heard a painfully familiar voice which opened up every stitch I had ever sewed shut and ripped out from the depths of my being, the hole which threatened to consume everything I had left.

"Your window was open..."

**A/N Oh well. I am not looking forward to writing the next chapter. I can tell already it's going to take A LOT of energy from me.**

**I could have split this chapter into separate ones, but figured the parts that could have been their own chapters weren't significant enough.**

** Okay, I am going to do another Jacob chappy, and I already have in mind which part of the story its going to be in. I'm not sure how much I am going to elaborate on his role as Alpha, because to me, that seems like a totally different story in itself. Thanks for reviewing.**


	11. Hate

**A/N ****Wow, 11 reviews last chapter. That's the most i've gotten ever in life! Well, I finally got around to writing this one. Sorry it took so long, I just wasn't really motivated enough. Well, as per request, this chapter now contains _shorter paragraphs. _******

**EPOV**

Werewolves?! What was my Bella thinking? Alice had called me and told me about the new company my love was keeping. I was furious. Alice should have never gone to visit Bella in the first place. Now that I knew, I would have to keep an eye on Bella. To make sure she was safe. I was going to see Bella just to protect her, I had to.

Each step I took grew in anticipation as I ran towards Forks. I couldn't keep my promise to stay away from her, situations change. I hated myself for doing it, but I kept telling myself that it was for Bella's sake I was returning, not just my own. Was I being selfish?

It's been too long. Part of me hoped she would be miserable, just like I was. I wanted us to be together, I wanted to hold her and I wanted to hear her tell me how much she loves me.

I stopped running to contemplate my actions for the 20th time that day and debated whether or not my going to see her was a good idea. If she was happy I would keep away, watching her from a distance just to make sure no harm came to her. That would be enough for me. Knowing she was happy and seeing her live a normal life. But if she was miserable...I prayed to any deities that may have been watching over me that I would have the strength to endure.

If I found that Bella needed me just as much as I needed her...I would go back to her. I would beg for her forgiveness and spend eternity making up for every second of loneliness I caused her.

I decided to cross that bridge after I saw her and how she was doing. I continued running, speeding up as I started to recognize the landscape around me. I neared Bella's house and I smelled her. God! How I missed her smell.

I closed my eyes imagining her in my arms. Her arms were wrapped around my neck and I was inhaling deeply as I buried my nose in her hair. It was heavenly. I breathed in even harder, but then I found myself gagging as reality began to sink back in.

_'Werewolf'_

His scent was all over her. She wasn't safe. I crept in closer from the surrounding woods I was in. I kept myself hidden looking for where the source of their smell came from.

I saw my angel standing in front of her house. She looked tired, yet she was so beautiful. I longed to reach out to her. Smelling her and seeing her was almost too much to handle at once. At that moment I wondered how I ever even manged to leave. I watched carefully, analyzing the dog to make sure that Bella was in no immediate danger. My eyes never really left the love of my existence though.

They were walking to his car, and I noticed they were holding each others' hands. A wave of jealousy engulfed me. How could she do that to me? Had she really forgotten me so quickly? I brushed away the thought knowing that this was what I had wanted. But with a wolf? This was not how things were supposed to go for my Bella. If I had known that I would be giving her up to a dangerous mutt, I never would have left.

As they neared the car, Bella leaned in to him. I gripped the tree tightly for support, but still fell to my knees. I couldn't handle the torture. She was happy and I hated myself for not being happy _for_ her. She was supposed to be happy with _me_.

_'Don't go...' _I thought desperately as I realized that Bella wasn't just walking him to his car. She was going _with_ him.

A gust of wind blew past me and I noticed the dog sniff up into the air. Oddly, my Bella did the same. What were these dogs doing to her?

I cursed to myself and ran back into the woods. _Damn It! _I wouldn't even be able to get near her. He would know it every time I came close. I had came to terms that if she were happy, I would continue watching over her, but now...would I even be denied that?

I never should have come back. I was doing...not fine, but I was doing. Now, I would never be able to leave here again. I will respect her new life, no matter how much it hurts. She was no better off with a werewolf than she was with me, but I lost my chance to be with her. Who ever said "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never even loved at all" had obviously never felt the what I was feeling now.

I ran away and took out my frustrations on some animals. I hunted for hours until I lost track of time. The hunger in me was sated rather early on, but it wasn't my appetite that I was trying to make feel better. I had hoped that each kill would help fill in the emptiness inside me, but I was fooling myself.

After clearing out my 8th den of wolves, I went back to our old home feeling no better than when I had started hunting. I found Alice and Jasper there waiting for me in the living room.

"You never should have come here. You gave me your word," I said to Alice.

"If you think for one second that I could stand idly by while three people who I love suffer for one person's mistake, then you're even more pigheaded than I thought Edward Cullen." Alice's voice was filled with malice. I was the one supposed to be angry, but I was only miserable.

"You shouldn't have come, Alice. She's happy." I couldn't look her in the eye as I spoke.

"She still loves you. You know that right?"

"She's happy Alice, that's all that matters to me. It's not my place anymore to get involved."

"You're an idiot," Jasper suddenly spoke. "You already know why we came...but why did you? If you're not even going to try to speak with her, don't get mad at Alice because you're here too. If we want to be a part of Bella's life, then it's like you said. It's not your place to get involved."

I was surprised by the sharpness of Jasper's words. I was completely confused of what I was going to do. I knew what I wanted, but it wasn't about me. It could never be about me.

"She'll be going home tonight. I just thought you should know that." Alice grabbed Jasper's arm leading him up the stairs and leaving me alone, something I never stopped being in the first place.

I knew what I needed to do. I needed to know how she felt about me. Did she still care about me? Did she still love me? All possibilities swam through my head and I got the courage to confront her about them.

I ran back to her house, but no one was home yet. I went up to her window, and found that it was open. A part of me was ecstatic. Maybe she had left it open...for me.

When I got inside her room, it was like being in a trance. Everything had her scent. I breathed in heavily. I looked through the room and noticed that not much had changed.

I lied down on her bed. It flooded memories of those nights I would just watch her sleep. I sighed contentedly.

I stayed on the bed for hours, just thinking of Bella, and what I would say.

"Bella, I love you. I'm sorry. Bella, I'm sorry, I love you. Bella...marry me."

I practiced out loud to myself what I would say when she came. No words seemed to capture my feelings for her. Nothing was good enough.

I jumped out of the bed when I heard Charlie arrive. Bella wasn't with him and I felt both relieved and disappointed. I sunk myself into the rocking chair in the corner after I heard Charlie retire into his room.

Another hour passed and I began to worry. Alice said she would be coming home tonight, but Charlie was already sleeping. What if she decided to stay with the wolves? I rocked myself back and forth until I heard it.

_KPOK!!!_

Bella was here. I felt myself get even more nervous. She took forever to come in the room. I couldn't move. The door slowly opened and closed. She didn't even bother to turn on the lights.

I saw her so clearly. She was stunning. I couldn't move. I wanted to just hold her, but I realized that as I was busy gawking at her...everything, she couldn't even see me in the darkness.

I thought frantically of what to say. I didn't want to scare her off. I thought of the window. Maybe she kept it open waiting for the day I would return. Maybe she never lost hope. I broke the silence, expressing in a few words, the hope which I still held in my heart.

"Your window was open..."

She froze in her place.

I got up from the chair and stepped into the center of her room. I was standing in front of her window so that the moonlight revealed myself to her. Now she would be able to see me. Her eyes never left me, but I couldn't read her expression. This was one of the moments where I wished so desperately that I could read her mind.

_'Say something Bella. Please, say anything!!' _Her silence was killing me.

"What-Why are you here?" Her voice was weak, but her tone was still guarded, not revealing much.

"Bella...I had to see you. I can't do this on my own. I thought I could, but I can't." My words were ragged. My breathing was erratic as I tried to let out air while I spoke.

She didn't utter a word. A full minute passed and she was still looking at me with that same guarded expression.

"I'm sorry Bella. I never would have come. I made Alice promise to stay away but she didn't listen! I had to come back because she did. Alice was a fool. I came-"

_WHAP_!!!

Right when I was about to tell her how I felt she slapped me. It hurt, not physically, but nothing physical could have hurt me as much as what she did to me.

I was so used to being around her, even while she slept, I made myself become sensitive in her presence. When she shifted in her sleep, I would reactively shift as well to accommodate her. I made every part of me soften around her because I wanted to be more than just a statue to her. It was second nature to loosen every muscle when I was around her.

When she slapped me, my head spun along with the contact of her hand. I was glad that I didn't hurt her, which I could have done if I wasn't so sensitive to her touch. I grabbed the part of my face that she slapped feeling like I would break down right there in front of her. I barely felt it, but she caused me more damage than she could ever know.

"Don't you _dare_ say bad things about Alice," she growled at me. "She came here for me. She actually cared. I can't say the same about you." There was nothing but anger in her voice.

She was holding the hand she slapped me with in her other. I felt the throbbing in it and it was red. She did hurt herself. Not as much as she would have if I hadn't moved though.

Not thinking I grabbed her hand in mine. I rubbed my palms over it, trying to sooth her pain. She tried to yank her hands away, but I wouldn't let go. Even now, her touch sent tingles everywhere, and for a moment I felt happy.

I looked at her and noticed that her face still held some contempt. That wasn't all. I still couldn't fully read her emotions. She would not speak, and her face didn't give much away.

I looked into her eyes trying to get what I could out of them. Bella's eyes would never lie to me. Staring into her eyes made me feel as if I _did_ have a soul. And as I became lost into her deep brown pools, I bore mine into them.

"Bella...I love you. Please...Please say you forgive me," I gripped her hand tightly, but let it go after I felt her tug at it once more.

She started to soften her gaze on me, but there was still a hint of defiance in her face.

"I..." She was talking too slow, and each moment that passed by held me in suspense.

"_I love you_," I finished for her in my head. It's just those three words I longed to hear from her. I needed to know that she still loved me. Then I would be able to make it up to her, and we would spend the rest of our days together.

Bella still hadn't finished what I just_knew_ she was going to say. I stood before her anticipating.

Her facial expression started wavering and it was as if she was struggling to get at the words. We never stopped staring into each others' eyes and I felt that she was just about ready to confess her true feelings for me.

"I hate you."

**A/N ****Well, there ya go. The next chapter might also seem familiar to you. Hmmm...I need more writing music. For the first couple of chapters I was listening to Evanescence, now I'm using Plus 44 as my audio entertainment.**

Here's a question, should I make Bella learn about Jacob being a werewolf? I already know how I'm going to resolve the love triangle, but I have this other scene I want to do. I thought I should probably decide now whether or not the wolves should be exposed now.


	12. Shattered Mirror

**A/N**** Hmmm...I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter...  
**

Get angry. Stay angry Bella. He can't hurt you if you stay angry. You can't feel the pain as much when you're angry.

I saw him step out in front of me. The moonlight was shining off of him and he took my breath away. His skin glistened and he looked like a dream bathed in a pale light. His face looked so vulnerable and just looking at him made my stomach queasy.

He must have come back with Alice. That's why he was here. I knew this visit meant nothing to him, but still. I needed to hear it from him.

"What-Why are you here?" was all I could get out dumbly. Maybe this was just a dream?

"Bella...I had to see you. I can't do this on my own. I thought I could, but I can't." His voice came with difficulty. Every word he spoke was velvety smooth. It threatened to bring back every memory I had let fade away.

_'Give me back my soul! Give me back my heart!' _I screamed internally. I reminded myself of why I was so angry at him, careful not to confuse it with the hurt. I had to keep focused.

"I'm sorry Bella. I never would have come." He didn't want to come. I knew it. "I made Alice promise to stay away but she didn't listen! I had to come back because she did. Alice was a fool. I came-"

_WHAP_!!!

I slapped him without thinking. All that anger I was calling forth was doing something to me. I can't believe I slapped him. Edward I'm sorry! I wanted to cry, but I just couldn't let that anger go.

I refused to let myself feel the pain. How dare he say that about Alice anyway! She was my friend, and she didn't leave me all alone. If it were up to Edward, he probably would have left me for dead.

"Don't you _dare_ say bad things about Alice," I growled at him. The anger from my voice was more from him leaving me than him insulting Alice. "She came here for me. She actually cared. I can't say the same about you."

I grabbed the hand I slapped him with unknowingly, and instinctively began to comfort it.

He grabbed my hand in his and started rubbing it. His touch was even colder than Alice's. Usually his coldness didn't affect me, but I had to force myself to keep from shivering. I tried to pull my hand away, but he wouldn't let go. I doubt he even felt me tugging it away.

He stared into my eyes. His beautiful topaz eyes were glowing. Their color was rich and even more jewel like than ever. Yet they held so much pain.

"Bella...I love you. Please...Please say you forgive me." He was gripping my hand even tighter and it began to hurt. I pulled at it and he released me.

He said he loved me. Could I believe that? If I did, could I forgive him? I knew the answer to both of those questions, but it's just been so long. I couldn't risk giving him the power to hurt me again. I _could_ let him love me and I_could_ forgive him, but I _could not trust_ Edward Cullen.

I couldn't break my gaze from his. I didn't want to. I could feel my grip on what was real fading. I was sinking back into his eyes. Was he trying to dazzle me?

"I...," I was about to slip out the words I knew he wanted me to say.

_NOOOOOOO_!!!! The anger screamed inside of me. How dare he try to _dazzle_ me. It all can't just go away. It's not supposed to be this easy. He can't do this to me!

I tried to break from his hypnotic gaze. I had to say something else. Anything else just to keep from falling back into this trap. I pulled out the words from the very surface of my mind.

"I hate you," I muttered without thought.

His eyes widened in horror. He turned to the window, facing his back to me.

"Edward, I'm sorry!" I was shocked at what I had said. I just had to keep myself from getting hypnotized by him. I had to think rationally. I didn't mean to speak those words...did I?

"Edward, Edward please, I don't hate you! I could never hate you!" I cried at him. He still wouldn't turn to face me. "I-I...I don't hate you Edward."

I grabbed his shoulder and turned him back to face me. His eyes were closed tightly and his face...His face was contorted in a way I never wanted to see it. I felt terrible for letting such pain befall him. He was taking in deep breaths and refused to look at me. What was he afraid of? Did he think I was lying? Did he really believe I hated him?

I had given him anger and spite, but not hate. I had done all I can to keep myself from being vulnerable around him, yet that's what _he_ was.

I feared that the reason he didn't want to look at me was because he was afraid of what he would see in my eyes. He didn't want to see hate in them.

"Edward look at me. Open your eyes, please." He opened them slowly and I could see that there was a new fragility in him. "I didn't mean what I said." I grabbed his hands in mine. Only a few goosebumps prickled on my skin.

He fell to his knees while still holding my hands intently, as if he didn't want me to leave. He rested the side of his head against my stomach and breathed in deeply.

"Bella. I never wanted to leave you. I always loved you and I never stopped. Please just believe me, I thought my leaving was necessary. Bella, don't you see? You deserve a normal life with someone who can give you warmth and even a family someday. I saw...I saw that you were happy, but I couldn't stay away. I'm sorry Bella. I'm sorry for interfering with your happiness, but I'm weak. I couldn't keep my promise. I love you Bella...I just wasn't strong enough for you." He was sobbing into me. There were no tears, but I knew the scope of his feelings. I felt them too.

I could no longer be angry at him. It was dying out and hearing his words revealed other emotions I had been pushing back. My protective wall was gone. I couldn't avoid it any longer. I knew why he left me and it was stupid, but he truly wanted me back...

This time it was me who had to turn away from him. The black hole came back to me full force. My chest wracked with pain and I had to grab my chest tightly because I could feel it all over again. I was shattering.

Tears flooded my eyes and I crouched down, feeling like I was about to double over. Edward was here. He was _here! _So how could I still feel so much pain?

His arms wrapped around me from behind. He pulled me in close and laid his head in my hair. I found myself not wanting to pull away...but I remembered the last time I was in his arms. He had kept me from falling to pieces, but now I still felt like I was falling. There was no security to being in his arms anymore. I sobbed harder, I felt so lost. If he had never come back, I never would have felt this way.

Did I regret him coming back? It was too early to say, but all I knew was that I was that I was hurting and he was too.

He turned me around to face him, but I took at step back.

"I'll stay around as long as you'll have me Bella. I love you." He outstretched his arms, begging me to take them.

"Edward, I can't!" I turned away again. The black hole was eating away at me. "Four months! Four months you left me Edward! You left me alone." I cried mercilessly, but didn't look at him. I didn't want him to see me.

"I understand why you hate me..." His voice was so hurt, he was almost babbling just like I was. He still thought I hated him and there was nothing I could do to convince him otherwise. I knew that if I looked at his expression right now, it would destroy me. "I promised it would be as if I never existed. I couldn't even do that much for you...I shouldn't have come Bella. I was stupid and weak. I don't know what I was thinking. I won't ever forgive myself for hurting you a second time. You would have been better off If I had just stayed away like I promised. I should have just stayed away."

I felt a cold wind and suddenly he was gone.

"Don't leave me again," I whispered to myself, still sobbing.

Before I knew it Edwards arms were wrapped around me and his face was buried behind my neck. His whole body was was trembling not wanting to let me ago. I knew he was hurting just as much as I was, but still.

"It hurts Edward." I grabbed over my chest where my heart should be. "It hurt when you weren't here. It hurts even now when you are. I don't know what to do." Edward tightened his hold on me.

"You broke me." My voice was filled with all the pain of the long months before.

The trembling stopped and I felt Edward's body stiffen behind me.

**A/N Okay so I just thought you should get a bit more in depth knowledge from Bella's POV. I won't be doing that next chapter for what happens in this one. The next chapter will progress regularly and I don't really have any specifics for it right now. So i figured, did you guys enjoy the Edward chapter? Would you want me to do the next one in his POV or stick with just Bella?**


	13. ThreeSided Squares

**A/N**** Holy Hell! I honestly had so much difficulty writing this chapter. I couldn't decide on how I wanted it to progress. Reading the comments helped a lot and I didn't make this chapter as depressing as the last two. Writing emotion takes a lot of energy. Poor Eddie. Oh yeah, a lot of you folks seem to be confused as to whether or not this story is ExB or JxB. Well, I'll state it now. I _do_ have a pairing in mind, but like I told to some, that can change. I tend to change things depending on how the story continues. I try to make things as believable as possible. If there was a point in the story where I think to myself "Hey, Jasper and Bella could happen" then I'd make it happen. Well, no I wouldn't but that's only because I also use the reviews to help decide. Right now, it's pretty much a tie between Edward and Jacob when it comes to reviews. It's all circumstantial. Jacob wasn't even SUPPOSED to be in this story. I pegged him for about only two chapters...we're on like what? 12?**

**P.S sorry I took so long posting chapters. I'm so friggin tired, I forgot to update earlier this morning. Seriously, I did not sleep at all last night. I couldn't stop reading The truth about tomorrow by Sarah Dessen. By the time I finished, It was already time to go to school. God I love good books.  
**

_"You broke me." My voice was filled with all the pain of the long months before._

_The trembling stopped and I felt Edward's body stiffen behind me._

I sobbed quietly to myself. I wanted to just collapse and feel the hard floor pressed against my face. Instead I was locked in a hard, steel prison, not able to feel the comfort of being alone.

He was still holding me in his lifeless arms, saying nothing and doing nothing.

I tried to compose myself. I took a deep breath and wiped the tears from my eyes. Slowly, I let myself turn around while still in his hold to look at his face.

He wasn't looking at me, his eyes were fixed on no specific location as if he were zoned out. His face was void of any emotion. He was just...frozen.

He left again just a few moments ago, and I told him not to leave and he returned. Then I told him he broke me.

He couldn't leave me right now, I had told him not to, but what could he do? I didn't know what I wanted. Not yet. But I also couldn't just leave him like this. I had to break this cycle we had going. I didn't know what to do...so I decided to just start with the truth.

"Edward," I whispered, looking up at him. He did not give any indication that he heard me. "Edward, I still..." I put my hands on either side of his face to get him to look directly at me. He did, but his expression was still blank. "Edward...I lov-" I saw a glimmer of life flash back into his eyes, as I spoke, but I was interrupted.

"Get away from her!"

We both turned to see something crouching on my windowsill.

"Jacob?" I said alarmed.

His body shook and his breathing came in short bursts. He was growling like an animal, and he didn't even acknowledge me. His attention was on Edward and only Edward.

Edward didn't move. He was still in his lifeless stupor.

Before I could flinch, Jacob's quivering form shot from the window and into my room. I saw patches of fur ripple into his growing muscles as he jumped. There was large, snarling wolf in my room in place of Jacob. I didn't even register what was happening when the large auburn wolf ripped Edward away from me and carried him out of the window. Edward not even trying to fight back.

I saw Jacob was taking Edward into the woods and I ran out of my room trying to follow. I didn't care if Charlie heard me leave. I shot out the door and ran as fast as my legs could carry me.

I felt myself starting to panic. I wasn't sure what was happening or who I should have been worried about, but I knew that I couldn't have just stayed in my room wondering. I wiped the tears from my soggy eyes so that I could see were I was going.

I heard a loud crashing sound as I ran through the trees and saw Edwards motionless body laying limp across the ground. The wolf was standing a few feet from him already in an attack position. I screamed out as I ran towards the two, but they didn't hear me. I saw Jacob pounce on Edward without any resistance. The wolf held one of Edward's legs in his mouth and was shaking it violently, about to rip it off.

"Stop! Stop!" I cried as I reached them.

Edward was just laying there doing nothing to protect himself. I ran up to the wolf and grabbed on to its fur trying to pull it away.

The wolf released Edward and turned around quickly. It's paw was already up in the air about to swipe at me. I closed my eyes bracing myself for the impending blow.

"Bella?" I heard my name and opened my eyes when I realized I wasn't feeling any pain.

Jake was standing in front of me, there was no longer any wolf. Jake grabbed me in a tight hold and I hugged him back. I wanted to feel whole again, like I always did in his arms.

"Bella...Bella! I would never hurt you! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He began stroking my hair trying to soothe me.

"That wolf. It _was_ you." I blinked incredulously and pulled away to look at his face.

"We'll talk about that later. I promise."

He kissed me swiftly and suddenly started to blush. I wondered why he was blushing, but then began to myself when I found out why.

Jacob Black was naked.

I had been in his arms, holding him in a tight embrace and I hadn't even realized. He quickly grabbed a pair of shorts that was tied around his leg and pulled them on. I tried not to watched and directed my gaze past Jake and onto a beaten Edward.

"Edward!" My eyes widened as I turned my focus on him. I ran to him, tears filling my eyes once again.

"Bella stay away from him." Jacob's eyes darkened and he began to crouch down, still in his human form.

"Jacob no! Please don't hurt him. It's okay!" I tried to reason with him before he could bring out the wolf again.

"Bella, it's not safe."

"Jacob please! He would never hurt me. Just leave us alone for a while. I need to talk to him."

"Bella..." Jacob looked scared and unsure and I did what I could to quell those fears.

"Trust me." I looked straight into his eyes and they were laced with hurt. He had trusted me to call him and I didn't. I hoped that there was still some left between us.

Jacob transformed, bringing back the wolf inside of him, but I wasn't scared. He simply looked at me sympathetically and darted back deeper into the forest.

Now I was able to give my full attention to Edward. I knelt beside him taking in the damage. He looked so defeated. His leg didn't look too bad, only the fabric of his pants was ripped. I was grateful he was okay, but he still wasn't acting like it.

"Edward, are you hurt?" I asked just to be sure.

"No," he sat himself up and looked at me. The sorrow was returning in his face and he buried it in his hands. "I could have lost you again...I saw him...The wolf raised his paw at you and I did nothing. He could have hurt you Bella!"

I was relieved to see some emotion back on his face, he was back to normal now. Or close to it. I pulled his hands away and placed them on his lap.

"Jake would never hurt me. And I told him that you would never harm me."

"I already have," he said dropping his gaze.

I didn't know what to say to that. What he said was true, and I wished I could have consoled him, but I still ached.

"Why didn't you fight back?" I asked trying to avoid anymore heavy subjects.

"What?" He looked at me with his golden eyes.

"You could have at least defended yourself."

"I-I didn't want to hurt him. He loves you Bella. I heard him thinking it. When he attacked me in your room, he was really frightened. He was scared that I was taking you away from him." He sighed. "I refused to fight back because I knew it would hurt you if he got hurt. I know how happy he makes you."

"I see..." I didn't know what to think about what Edward had said about Jacob loving me, but I felt like I needed to talk to him soon.

"Do you love him?" Edward asked me completely out of the blue. I hadn't even been together with Jacob that long...I wasn't sure if I loved him yet. I tried to search myself for the answer. I needed to answer Edward truthfully, but I didn't want him to hurt him. There had been enough of that going around this evening.

"Yes," I answered knowing that I did love Jacob. I needed him and he needed me.

Edward closed his eyes for a moment and opened them back up, looking at me determinedly. I knew right then and there that he was going to give me the power to break him this time.

"Bella." He took a deep breath to steady himself. "Please. I need to know...before he came into your room, you were going to say something. Please, will you say it to me again."

"Edward, don't."

"Please Bella! Just do it for me and I will never bother you again. I need this." He was pleading to me and I was afraid he really would leave again.

I took a deep breath and looked at his angelic face.

"Edward...I still love you."

**A/N**** I sort of hate myself for making this into a triangle lol. And a lot of people seem to hate Edward. I hope I haven't villainized him. I just wanted to make him suffer like Bella did. Oh, and don't think that the happy couple is together already. She may still love him, but that doesn't mean she wants to be with him.**

** Oh yeah, if a chapter isn't deep enough, such as this one, you can ask me to write it again in another POV. I'll do it, only if its something requested by a couple of people though.**

** Sorry If I don't update everyday this week. It's a hectic week. Somehow, I have to manage to do 20 hours of community service, and I have a lot of school poo to do. I'll try to update every other day If I can't do it everyday.   
**


	14. Filler: Jazzbones

**A/N**** Here's a little break. I just felt like experimentin. I played with Jasper and Alice for a little bit. It was fun. Actually, I already had the next chapter written, but I just decided to write this on a whim. I guess you'll have to wait even longer for the story to progress,sorry.**

**  
Alice POV**

Bella was going to find Edward in her room soon. I knew what was going to happen and I stayed with Jasper in our room. I was afraid. How much more of this can he take? I'm afraid I'll lose him to pain, guilt, distrust and emptiness. I wish I could just tell Bella that Edward would make her happy. I wish I could tell her that he would never leave her again. I could never promise that. Even I couldn't see that much into their future.

I lay in the bed with Jasper. He was holding me in his arms and I held his hands playing with his fingers. I gripped his hands in mine tight, bracing him for what was about to happen. I didn't tell him. I wanted him to enjoy feeling only the love we felt for each other for a little while before the storm hit.

I felt his hands tighten around mine. He closed his eyes. I knew this would be a bad one. Edward was confronting Bella. '_It has to get worse before it gets better,_' I kept telling myself.

"Jazzy? I'm here. I'm here, don't let go."

He started breathing heavily and he clutched my hands and held it closer to his heart. I hated seeing the pain in his face. I almost hated Edward for causing such pain on the man I loved. Jasper could never blame his brother because he knew what Edward was going through, but who was I supposed to blame?

I began to kiss Jasper all over his chest, looking up to see his reaction. Every time my lips made contact with his body, his face relaxed a little. I had to keep doing everything I could to help get him through.

"I can't block it out Alice. They won't stop. Bella is holding everything in. I'm afraid." I was worried. Jasper never showed it when he was afraid, but his voice now was like a child's. He didn't deserve this. "When she stops trying to suppress her feelings, I don't know if I'll be able to handle it."

"You will Jaz. Just remember, I'm here. Hold me tight, cause I'll never let go."

He gripped me tighter. He began to tremble. He was trying to hold back a dry sob. I could feel it in his chest.

"You don't have to hold anything back. You have to let it out...someone has to."

He buried his face in his hands.

"Don't ever leave me Alice. Please stay with me..."

"Forever," I finished for him.

He had to feel twice as much pain than any of the other two were feeling. He was so strong. I had vowed to myself when this had first started that I would never be the cause of this kind of pain for him.  
I did what I could to get Bella and Edward together again, the rest was up to them.

I held held Jasper's trembling body close, whispering how much I loved him when the worst of it came.

He screamed and writhed and cried. It hurt me He needed me there, but by being with him, I was also adding to his burdens. He exerted too much effort on controlling what he felt so they didn't leak out of him. He protected me by trying to prevent the feelings from going into me. They never did. I wanted to leave him alone so he didn't have to exert any effort in keeping his emotions to himself, but I was too selfish to leave him alone

I knew that he wouldn't just get better. He would just feel it less and less until it became bearable. Then we would wait for it to get worse again.

His breathing slowed slightly and his grip on me loosened. I felt his shaking stop suddenly and I turned to look at his face. It was blank.

"Jazzy, what's happening?" I was worried. Were they okay? Was Jasper okay?

"Nothing, Alice. I feel nothing."

**A/N**** OOOoooh. How foreboding.**


	15. Imprints

**A/N ****And here's the return of the Jacob chapters. Jeez, it's so much easier to write Jacob than it is to write Edward. I guess, that just means I should start writing more Edward. I was rather unhappy with the last chapter,(before the jasper one) but meh. **

After I confessed my love to Edward, he just held me in his arms the rest of the night. None of us spoke a word. I knew he didn't want to ruin the moment and neither did I. I knew that despite how screwed up the situation was now, he was happy. There was hope in everything he did now. A purpose, where there had once been anguish. Me? I still felt as lost as ever, but I didn't dare speak my worries aloud.

I fell asleep in his arms and the next morning I found myself in my bed alone. I was relieved to see the empty space next to me...but a part of me wished that _he _was here to hold me through this.

It was Saturday and I needed to see Jake. I needed an explanation of what had happened the night before from him. There was so much uncertainty in my life now. So much that I can't just grasp and I needed Jake to just be there for me. I couldn't take the darkness in me, and I knew I would gain little solace in Jake's explanation, but I was desperate to lighten the load on myself.

I ran downstairs to grab a quick breakfast and found Charlie sitting down at the dining table. He was reading the newspaper and looked up at me quizzically.

"You have plans?," he asked.

"I'm going down to La Push. To see Jake." I responded. I was surprised to find that my voice was raspy and came out weakly. Charlie didn't look surprised.

"You were screaming again Bella. It was worse than I had ever heard it last night. I think it would be best if you did see Jake." He turned his attention back onto his newspaper, trying to hide a grimace on his face.

"I know," I said quietly. I wasn't very hungry anymore and just grabbed a glass of orange juice to help clear my throat before I drove to see Jake.

_KPOK!!!_

I go out of my truck and saw the door to the Blacks' house begin to open. He looked tired. He was wearing red shorts and just a white t-shirt, but he was still a sight for sore eyes.

I was disappointed when he didn't come running to me like he usually did, but Jake did manage to walk towards me at a brisk pace. I was afraid he was mad at me or I had hurt him somehow, but his eyes were fixed on me as he quickly filled the space between us.

He took me in his arms and held on to me like he needed me. I reciprocated by clinging to him tightly. It just felt so right being in his arms, I never wanted him to let go.

"Oh, Jake. Please never let go." I found myself suddenly sobbing into his chest. I couldn't repress anything with Jake.

"Shhhh. Bella it's okay, I never will." He hugged me tighter and I buried myself deeper into him. I didn't realize how much I had been keeping back until just then.

"I love you Jake," I said, my face still pushed against his chest. I kissed it and quickly positioned my head back to its resting place.

He said nothing, but continued to caress my back with his hands. I wasn't worried about the silence. I just needed to tell him how much he meant to me. I didn't expect anything back.

"Bella...we should talk."

He took me back to the beach were we always seemed to come back to. I never released my hold on him on the way there. Even when we drove in silence, my hand gripped his tightly and his gripped back. I didn't need words with the comfort of his hold on me.

We stood by the solitary beach in silence. I was pressed up against his chest and he was playing with strands of my hair. I put my arm around his neck and pulled him down to me. I placed a chaste kiss on his lips

"I love you," I repeated. I loved hearing those words come out of my mouth.

Jacob tensed pulled away from me fractionally. Now I began to worry.

"Please stop saying that," he said.

I felt my heart sink. I had come to Jacob needing so desperately to make sense of the world. And I gave him my love because I knew that If I professed my feelings for him, that it would be a start. It would be what grounded me.

The ground beneath me crumbled and my knees buckled. Jacob held me up, leaning me against his body.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I couldn't lose Jacob now. Even as fresh tears began to fall, I hid my face from him trying not to push him further away.

"Bella. You don't understand. I need to explain to you what happened last night. Listen to what I have to say and then tell that you still love me." His face buried a dark look.

"Jacob..."

"Bella. I've been lying to you. I've been keeping this secret and I never told you. I'm a monster Bella. You saw last night. I've wanted more than anything to tell you but...I didn't want to lose you."

I looked up at the pained expression in his face. He avoided looking me in the eyes.

"Last night, I missed you. I wanted to see you so badly. I ran down for a visit when I smelled him. I couldn't contain it, I just felt so much. I saw him through your window. The one who caused you all that pain. You were in his arms Bella and you were crying. I couldn't take it."

"So you attacked." I helped him find the words to complete his story. He looked ashamed.

"I'm sorry Bella. At first I thought you weren't safe. You could never be safe with his kind. I pulled him away and he didn't even move. When you told me to leave you alone...I thought. I didn't think I would be seeing you much after that. I mean, it's not like you called me..."

"Jacob I'm sorry I didn't call you, he just surprised me. I need you! I don't care what you are. You aren't a monster. And no matter what you say, I love you Jake. I love you."

He still wouldn't look look at me. I knew he couldn't understand how I felt. I was so over labels or surprises like this. I had to show him that I didn't care.

"Jake. Do you love me?" I asked. He still refused to look at me.

"Yes." He answered shortly. I felt my heart flutter, but not enough.

"Then tell me."

He turned to face me slowly and ran his fingers from my hair to my cheek.

"I love you."

His eyes smoldered when he said those words. I felt weightless and for the time being, all was well.

I put my hands behind his head and dragged him down towards me. We looked at each other, just staring into each others' eyes momentarily, and then he kissed me. His kiss was deep and more passionate than any other I had ever received from him. I finally broke us apart when I need to breath

"I-. Love-. You-," I gasped out each word with every breath I took.

"I love you too, Bella Swan," he smiled and placed his mouth on the edge of mine. He refused to part lips and only moved to kiss the corner of mine to allow me to breath.

"So uh...You're the wolf-man?" I asked nonchalantly as I slowly parted with him.

"Well, not just me. The guys too," he was starting to sound more confident in himself as he spoke.

"Really? When did this happen?"

"Well, not too long ago. It was before I first saw you again. It was really rough for me when I first found out."

I frowned and he couldn't hide the worry in his eyes.

"I wish you would have told me...You can tell me anything."

"Like you told me your ex was a vampire?"

"I'm sorry...It was just hard."

"I know Bells," he rested his chin on my head. "I'm just glad we don't have to keep hiding stuff anymore."

"You knew all this time? I don't see why you couldn't have just told me." I began to wonder how long he would have kept his secrets secret if Edward had never come back.

"Bella, I wanted to, it's just that we weren't really allowed to tell anyone. It's not really safe for you to be with me, but I refused to let that keep you from me." He gave me another kiss and touched my nose with his index finger.

I loved that fact that he chose to be with me no matter what.

"Well, don't some of your guys have wives and girlfriends? Unless they're all like you too?" I hoped not. I couldn't keep up with that. I was tired of feeling totally inadequate by just being human.

"No Bells, that's different." He shrugged uncomfortably.

"How so?" I pressed on. If the other guys were seeing girls who were normal, then what made them so different?

"They've imprinted."

"Imprinted?"

"People of my kind...the werewolves," he paused at the word to gage my reaction. I didn't so much as blink and he continued. "It's a rare thing among us, but it's been happening to a lot of the guys in the pack. They imprinted. It means that they've found their one true love and all it took was one look at them. When a wolf has imprinted on someone, they can't refuse that person. It's a deep connection. You can't keep them apart."

"Wow," was all I could say. I thought for a while and a question popped into my head. "Hey Jake?"

"Yes," he looked at me nervously.

"Have you imprinted on me?"

"...no," he answered morosely. I tried not to be affected, but I couldn't help but feel disappointed. "But, it's really rare Bella. A lot of us aren't meant to imprint. I love you and I know I couldn't live without you. Isn't that the same thing?"

He looked worried and I knew that he loved me, but there was still a lot I needed to know.

"You said that not everyone imprints...and that imprinting means that the wolf has found their one true love but,...what if those who don't imprint just haven't found their true love yet? What if those few who do are just the lucky ones that have?" I swallowed a lump in my throat. I felt like I was already losing Jacob. Someone was already meant for him and it wasn't me.

"Bella! Please don't say that! I love you Bella. Only you. There is no other one for me. Don't do this to yourself," he had said '_don't do this to yourself_', but his eyes were saying 'd_on't do this to __**me**_' "You can't tell me that what I feel for you can be anything but true love. Don't leave me right when I've managed to finally grab a place in your heart."

"I'm sorry," I entwined my hands in his. "It's just that, I would never survive losing you. Not_ you."_

He kissed me again deeply and all my second guessing melted away. He did love me.

"So why are the Cullens back?" He couldn't hide the worry in his tone.

"No reason," I said keeping my voice light. "They're just visiting. I honestly don't even know how long they intend to stay this time." I tried to hide the pain in my mind. "They're my friends, Jake. Please understand that."

"I could never understand Bella," he said shaking his head.

"You won't try keeping me away from them, will you?" I was serious. I would probably avoid Alice, Jasper...and Edward to be with Jake. But it would kill me if he wanted me to.

"I doubt I could even do that," he mused. "I trust you Bella." He looked into my eyes searching for something.

"I promise I'll call you when I'm with them. I swear it." _When_. I said when because I knew there were no ifs about it. I would see my vampires again. I knew that promising him I'd call was the only thing that could comfort him if I wasn't going to break my connection with the Cullens. I wasn't ready to.

"That's all I wanted to hear." He placed his hands on either side of my head and kissed me right between the eyes.

**A/N**** So, a lot of you wanted Edward, but this chappy was all Jake. Sorry, but next chapter will probably be Edward. Saturday is for Jake and Sunday is for Edward. Monday...well Monday, Bella might be in for a dilemma. I already thought of what's coming up, so It'll be a lot easier for me to continue writing the next few chapters.  
**


	16. Peace and DEUCES!

**A/N** **Sorry for the long wait. I didn't like the way i wrote the last few chapters so I just needed time to rethink things. or Maybe I was just lazy. I just watched Jumper. Good Movie. I saw Kristin Stewart and I was like "OMG! It's Bella!" I was sad because she wasn't in long and then I forgot what she looked like lol. Jumper was really good, but I think Twilight will be better. There wasn't as much romance as I was expecting and I didn't like how they did the dirty so fast**

I spent the rest of the day with Jacob. There was a bonfire with all the werewolves that night and I snuggled in Jake's arms surrounded by my new family. I had heard all about the wolves and their origins. Paul and Sam seemed disappointed at my lack of fear when they told me the full story of their kind. I really wasn't. It would take a lot more than that to scare me, especially while I was in Jake's arms, the safest place in the world.

I had learned that the members of the pack were all connected while in their wolf forms. I also learned that Jake was the pack leader, and how he had taken the position...

I drove myself home at the end of the night. As soon as I had left the La Push area, the boundary, I felt the warmth that came from Jacob leave me. I wanted to turn around and get it back, but I needed to go home. I wasn't sure If that was how I was supposed to feel. Was feeling this empty normal and Jake just made me really happy? Or was I always this empty and Jake just got me back to normal?

I decided to go back to La Push as early as I could the next day. Being too far from him didn't make me feel good.

Before I opened the door to my room I braced myself. I took a deep breath and entered. I switched on the lights and found it empty. I exhaled relieved that Edward wasn't waiting for me.

I told him I still loved him, but I was starting to think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea. It didn't change anything. I wished I could just forget again. I was happy with Jake now, that was all I wanted.

Turning off the lights, I paused for a moment to think. I walked over to my window and closed it, locking it shut. Only then did I climb into bed and begin to sleep.

I woke up groggy. It was another rainy day in forks and I got ready for the day in a slow pace.

Charlie was downstairs to greet me. He was leaving for work and passed a worried glance at me as I walked into the kitchen. My throat felt scratchy and it was too irritated for me to say good morning to him. I grabbed a glass of water to clear my throat. I was gulping down my second glass, but a booming voice caused me to spit it out.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE!?"

I ran out of the kitchen to see Charlie standing on one end of the door way, and Edward on the other.

Edward flinched at my father's anger and avoided looking in his eyes. He looked up sheepishly at me for support, but soon realized that I wasn't going to be of any help.

"I don't really know, sir," Edward almost whispered.

Charlie's face was a violent red and I saw the veins popping out of his neck. I worried about his health in more ways than one. It was like Charlie was just presenting himself to Edward. I didn't think Edward would lose control, but I wasn't going to risk it. I knew when it came to Edward, _nothing_ was ever for sure.

"Dad, just go to work. I can handle this." I projected my most poised voice.

"BELLA, DON'T!," he raised one index finger to me while still glaring holes into Edward.

I had to get Charlie to leave. This was hard enough as it was, I didn't need Charlie here to add to my predicament.

"Charlie! I am an adult now. I can fight my own battles. Please just leave. You're just making everything worse!"

Charlie didn't look at me, but he was listening to the words I spoke. He left us angrily, but not before yelling to Edward, "I BETTER NOT SEE YOU HERE EVER AGAIN CULLEN!"

After Charlie's cruiser had left the lot, Edward still did not move from his spot.

"What do you want?," I asked trying not to look at him.

"I just thought...," He was holding one arm in the other as he glanced up at me and I knew he was thinking about how I had told him I loved him. I would not be the would to bring that up. "Well, we're back. We just finish refurnishing the old house. They're all excited to see you again. Esme and Emmett especially."

I was surprised that they really cared at all. I knew that they had left because of Edward, but I thought I was at least a little bit part of the family. I felt forsaken by them. They had abandoned me too. I knew if I saw them, I would feel alienated no matter what.

He saw the reluctance in my eyes and spoke up quickly. "I told them that you wouldn't be too eager. Don't worry, you're not obligated to visit."

We stood in silence. I resisted the urge to grab my stomach and comfort the pain I felt when Jacob wasn't by me. It was increased tenfold in Edward's presence.

"Bella, can we talk?"

I didn't want to talk to him, but nothing would ever change if we didn't. I walked to the couch and sat on the far edge. Edward followed and sit on the opposite side of me. Still a little too close for comfort.

"What is it you want to talk about?" I kept my voice neutral.

"Bella, do you really still love me?" His voice didn't ask anything of me, he said it as a simple question as if he didn't know the answer.

"Yes," I replied. I wasn't going to lie, but still kept my answer short.

He reached out to lay his hand on mine but I quickly pulled my hand back. He froze, then pulled his hand back in rejection.

"Is there still a place for me in your life? I lived far too long away from you. It will be...unbearable if I couldn't have you in my life. It wouldn't be life at all," he closed his eyes. "But I'll stay away from you if that's what you want, you'll never have to see me again."

"Don't ask me that, please" I didn't want to have to make this decision. I didn't want him to leave forever. I wished that I never had to remember the pain he left for me, but he was back now and no action he took could make me forget again.

Edward let out a soft growl and I thought that I had upset him by not giving him a direct answer.

"You're _friend_ is here," he said in a hurt tone.

I turned to the door where Edward was looking at just in time to see Jacob run in. My inner turmoil subsided and I ran to him and gave him a hug. He turned his face toward mine to kiss me, but I moved my head at the last second so he ended up kissing my cheek. I didn't want to do this. Not in front of Edward. Hugging Jacob made me feel horrible enough, but I had no choice. I _needed_ Jake.

"What is the leech doing here?" My head was buried in his chest and he was looking at Edward as he spoke.

"I just came to inform Bella of my family's return to Forks." He got up from the couch and walked towards us.

"You're back? I don't think anyone really wants you here," Jacob said coldly.

"Really now? I'll believe that when I hear the words from someone who matters." Jacob's grip on me tightened. "I see the dogs have a new leader. Congratulations. I hope you're competent. Your last leader seemed like an idiot to me."

Jacob let out a soft growl. "You know, I may not be as lenient as Sam. I really don't see a need for a treaty. You're kind is always devastatingly beautiful, but I think that you guys look even better when you burn."

The treaty. I remembered hearing about it. It was the only thing keeping the vampires and wolves from going into a war. I thought about Alice as a pile burning ash. Sam lifeless on the ground with his wife crying over his dead body. Lastly I thought of Edward and Jake ripping each other to shreds.

I began to tremble. Both of the boys had noticed and I could feel their eyes on me. I couldn't look at either of them.

"Please, don't fight," I quietly cried. I knew both of them heard me regardless.

Jacob relaxed his hold and Edward let go of all hostility.

"Please forgive us Bella. You're right. A new Alpha for the wolves means that things could change. Maybe even peace is attainable for us instead of a shaky armistice. The Cullens will always love Bella, and I am willing to put all differences aside if it means that Bella doesn't have to caught in between. Are you capable of doing so as well?" I knew Edward was challenging Jacob and I saw him extend his hand out to Jake. I expected them to start fighting again.

Jacob's growl became more pronounced, but it faded. He kissed the top of my head and took Edward's hand. I had to pull away from Jacob because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. They were shaking hands. Edward looked comfortable enough, but I saw Jacob recoil to the coldness of Edward's touch. He still refused to let that deter him. I knew what they were both doing for me and I silently thanked them for taking off some of the weight from my shoulders.

"For Bells, I would do anything. The Cullens have kept their word and although I don't think co-existence is possible, we could at least try. Until one of you decides to kill again at least. Then we'll kill you all."

Edward disregarded Jacob's threat and raised the corner of his lips. "Anything you say? Good because my family was actually going to start up a game of baseball today. Would your pack be up to playing against a couple of bloodsuckers? It would be nice to play a full game with another team that would be able to put up at least some fight."

"Leeches play baseball? You Cullens_are_ weird. But maybe we would enjoy a little friendly competition. My guys would just love to rip your family apart, but since that is impossible now, I think it won't hurt for them to do so in spirit."

"Good, then it's decided. But now there's only one question left," Edward turned me and so did Jacob. "So, Bella...which team are you on?"

**A/N**** Sorry if you found this chapter unsatisfactory, but I just HAD to do the team Edward team Jake thing lol I thought it would be funny. I laced this chapter with a lot of foreshadowing for the next chapters.**


	17. Sportsmanship

**A/N**** Agh, sorry I took so long to update. I honestly didn't want to do a baseball game. I just wanted to do the whole "So what team are you one" shtick. Lol, well I did a brief game so here you go.**

"_So, Bella...which team are you on?"_

"I...I..." They both looked at me intently. My words seemed caught in my throat. I knew who's team I wanted to be on. I just couldn't seem to get it out.

"She's not playing," Jacob turned to Edward angrily.

"Of course not," Edward let out a small chuckle. "I was merely teasing." He erased any trace of unease in his face as he smiled at me.

Edward called Alice and informed him of their new opponents and Jacob ran out for a while, undoubtedly to change and let his pack know everything. I just stood where I was, trying to grasp what was really happening.

I had already seen Alice, but I didn't want to see the others. I wasn't ready. And the wolves. How would everything go after they were forced to be good sports against their long time enemies?

What truly worried me however, was the new connection that had formed right before my eyes between Jake and Edward. I knew that part of the reason why I felt so safe with Jake was because he took me away from it all. He was not a part of my old life. La Push was far away and it was my escape. It now seemed that my safe place was being invaded by my past, my demons.

"Bella, are you ready to go?," Jake asked, pulling me out of my reverie. I simply nodded.

"You don't have to do this," I tried to talk him out of going.

"No, but I want to. I'm trying to understand Bella. I really am. I can't let this feud tear you apart I want to have all of you." He grabbed my hands and I gave up fighting.

"You guys can follow me, everybody will probably be there by the time we arrive," Edward flashed me another brilliant smile before walking out to his car.

Jacob pulled me closer to him, unnerved by Edward's blinding teeth.

We soon followed the shiny, silver Volvo in Jacob's car. It was so odd not being in it. Edward was also going at a manageable pace for Jake to follow. It was probably unbearable for Edward to go so slow.

When we arrived at the spot, the wolves were on one side and the vampires were on another. They were giving each other death glares and I would have hated to see what would have happened if we didn't arrive when we did. Jacob walked to his pack and Edward went to his family. I followed Jacob closely stopping when I had noticed the Cullens see me. I couldn't bring myself to continue following. I stood, straddling the space that separated both teams.

"Bella!" Emmet waved to me enthusiastically.

All of the Cullens were looking at me, and I didn't have to turn around to see Jacob's pack watching me protectively. Esme was the only one brave enough to approach me in front of my self-appointed guard dogs.

"Bella, we've missed you." She embraced me in a motherly hug. I tried not to show it, but her attempt at comforting me had the opposite effect. God! I missed them so much. It make the fact that they abandoned me hurt so much more.

I couldn't hug her back and pulled away. "Hi Esme," I said looking at the ground.

I quickly walked back to Jacob and wrapped him in my arms. I buried my face into him trying to fight back the tears. I had to get a hold of myself. Jacob comforted me by rubbing my back and I managed to gather myself. I turned away and saw everyone was watching me. Rosalie looked angry, Jasper looked apathetic, and the rest of their family had the same faces which held a mix of shock and despair.

I felt I should apologize, but I didn't know if I should.

"Are we going to start soon? Or what?" Paul interrupted. I was grateful. Anything to break free of the awkward situation I put myself in.

The first flash of lighting appeared and the boom of thunder rolled in.

"Now we start!" Emmett yelled.

The pack was batting first. Embry was the first to hit. He hit the ball so far above the forest that I hoped they had brought spare baseballs, but before he could even run all the way to first base, Edward was holding something white and round against Embry's shoulder.

"OUT!," yelled Carlise from the umpire's mound.

"What a showoff," said Alice, suddenly sitting beside me on the grass. "He's doing so for your benefit."

"A-Alice. What are you doing here?," I asked a little bit shaken.

"I decided to sit this one out. I thought we should talk."

"About what?" I was getting nervous. It seemed that everyone wanted to_talk_ to me these days.

"About what happened earlier. Please don't let your feelings for Edward affect your feelings with the rest of us. We really do miss you. I know Esme thinks of you as one of her own. We all love you."

I gulped at her words. I didn't fully believe them. I just shrugged.

"Bella...We're back. I understand why you would be uncomfortable around my brother, but you don't have to be that way around the rest of us. We're family."

"E-Edward wasn't the only one who left me..."

Suddenly everyone on the field looked at me. They all heard what I had said despite my hushed tone Alice ignored them.

"Bella, I'm sorry!" Alice was actually surprised at what I had said and hadn't realized that it was hard for me to see any of them.

"Don't. I'm fine really. I have Jake now. You guys only did what you thought was right." I turned my attention back to the game. They weren't keeping score so I just pretended like I was interested in what was happening to avoid talking to Alice.

Alice let me watch the game. We sat watching for a few minutes. Jacob was batting and had managed to make it to second base.

"Hey, Bella?," Alice spoke, still keeping her attention fixed on the game.

"Yes?"

She placed her hand over mine without turning her attention away from the field. "Thanks for coming."

"No problem."

"I was surprised though. You brought the pack with you. Edward was just going to ask _you_ to come. He must be trying really hard."

"What do you mean?" I had to turn and look at her.

"Well, he's made it clear to everyone that he can't be away from you anymore. He still wants to give his love to you even though he knows he'll never receive any in return. He knows your happy with Jacob," she smiled softly. "He's trying to keep you in his life, and if that means associating with the werewolves, he'll do it."

I thought about being friends with Edward. It would never work. I had noticed his drastic change of mood earlier after Jake had arrived at my house and I didn't think I would be able to do the same with him. I just needed to-

"GRRRRRR!"

I heard deep growling coming from both sides of the field. Each side was crowded around home base. Jake was lying on the ground and Edward was standing over him.

'_Oh no!' _I thought. Had Edward attacked Jacob? If they got into a fight, there would be nothing I could possibly do to stop it.

I got up and started walking quickly towards them, with Alice following behind me.

"He was out and you saw it! There is no way that puppy could have outrun Edward!," Rosalie yelled.

"He's safe!," Sam yelled back. "It's not that I'd expect any of you to play fair anyways."

I honestly thought Rosalie was going to bite someone until Edward cut the tension. He outstretched a hand and Jacob accepted, pulling himself off the ground.

"Well I guess our game is over," Edward said, turning his hold on Jacob's hand into a handshake.

Jake smiled and looked at his team. "Good game guys. I'll see you back home. I'm going to take Bella to her house now." The other team left after saying goodbye to me. I knew that no one was expecting the two teams to shake hands any time soon.

Jacob walked to me and placed his arm over my shoulders. The Cullens, excluding Edward, Rosalie and Jasper, simply waved goodbye to me. They didn't want to overstep their boundaries with me again. I walked back with Jake towards his car, but turned around when I heard Alice call my name.

"Bye Bella! See you at school tomorrow!"

Jacob stopped us abruptly and he turned me towards him. He unexpectedly planted a deep kiss on my mouth and I wasn't able to stop him. When he pulled away he smirked and pulled us back towards his car. I was too scared to turn around and see the horrified expressions probably waiting for me. I would scold Jacob later, but right then, I just tightened my hold around his hand for the strength I needed to make it back home.

**A/N**** Sorry if this chapter is very BLAH. It really is. I just wanted to put something out there. I appreciate all the reviews and I'll try not to take so long to update. **

** I have a question. I had Bella slap Edward, I had her say he broke her and I had her say she hated him. At this point of the story, do you think Bella is still mad, or is she just sad at this point? I'm not sure if I should add anymore "fight" scenes between them. **


	18. POP!

**A/N Here's a Jakey Chap. Hmm, you guys seem to be restless with wondering who Bella will end up with. Well, I'm not purposely dragging things out, I'm setting things in motion. I promise that the person who will have Bella's heart will become clear in five chapters or less.**

**JPOV**

I dropped Bella home and made my way back to La Push to meet with Sam and the boys. It was decided that we would celebrate our new "peace" with the Cullens. I knew that no one from my pack really believed in the peace, but I thought it would be better to begin our new agreement on a happy note.

The leeches weren't invited to the party we were planning tonight. I just needed to have food and any other distractions available so that the guys wouldn't have time to think about how bad an idea it was to allow the Cullens to get so close.

Bells was invited of course, but I needed time alone with the others so that they could vent all their concerns at me and hopefully quell any uneasiness they had before the party. I would pick her up later tonight join us.

I arrived at my house and the guys were there waiting for me in the driveway. They were all huddled together as usual and I was afraid they would attack me with threats and complaints, but the worst I received were dirty looks. They weren't allowed to dissent from the decisions I made as Alpha, but I had expected everything to go much worse than it did.

I waited a few moments in silence, waiting for any type of discord, when none came I let out a relieved sigh and spoke to them.

"We did a good thing out there. It was nice playing with the Cullens, wasn't it?," I said in a cheery tone.

"Yeah, If playing with bloodsuckers is your sort of thing," Paul mumbled. The rest of the guys snickered and I shot him a dirty look.

"Maybe you'd enjoy yourself if you managed to actually hit the ball every once in a while," I quipped back at him. The rest of the guys "Ooooh'd" and I knew Paul was fighting with himself to not push me back harder. He merely went along and laughed at himself.

Feeling satisfied that the tensions had dropped, I continued with the plans. I smelled the scent of Emily's cooking from not too far away and my mouth began to water.

"Is everything set?," I asked Sam.

"Everything is just about ready. I just need pick up some flour from the store for Emily."

"I think I'll go with you," I said.

I wanted to go with Sam because I needed to know what he thought about the decision I made for us. I hadn't made the transition with him yet so I didn't know what he was thinking. I thought the best way was to just come out and ask him during our ride to the store. I could have just waited until we both shifted, but I wanted to be absolutely sure of my actions the next time the guys saw into my head.

We spent a few moments in silence in his truck as I tried to gather up the courage to ask Sam his opinion. He knew my reason for wanting to go with him and waited patiently for me to speak.

"Sam," I hesitated. "Would you have done it?" I tried to keep my voice from sounding like a child. I did not want to show any uncertainty in my voice.

Sam's eyes narrowed as he thought about my question. "No, I wouldn't have," he said.

I hid my worry at his response. If Sam wasn't with me, neither of the guys would be either. I straightened my posture in my seat and spoke in a stiff voice.

"Sam... I need you to back me on this."

"I do," Sam said, contradicting his previous statement. I gave him a questioning look. "Honestly Jacob, no one from the pack in their right mind would do what you did. There's just too much hate between us.

"I say I wouldn't have agreed to a peace because I'm prejudiced. None of the guys would admit it, mostly because they're scared, but I know I would never have rhyme nor reason to even think about agreeing on _anything_ with the Cullens."

"So you don't think this is a mistake?"

"It's not my place to say," he said. He was rubbing in the fact that I was the leader now, which he did a lot these days. "By just going on what we've seen on the past, those leeches have been pretty safe," he said as he parked the car. "Feel better now?"

"I'm not sure..."

Sam answered some of my questions, but I was foolishly relying on him to help me convince _myself_ that I did the right thing.

We got out of the car and walked into a convenience store which was just a short distance past the now inactive border between Forks and La Push.

The store was simple with shelves aligned in neat rows. Sam walked towards the back and I followed checking the products around me for anything we might want.

I could hear the loud "POP" of bubblegum being blown coming from what must have been the cashier and it reminded me that I wanted to get something for Bells as well.

I was debating on whether or not to buy Bella a pouch of candy I knew she liked when Sam walked towards me holding a medium sized bag of flour.

"You ready?," he asked.

"Yeah," I grabbed two pouches, one in each flavor and followed Sam to the cash register.

"POP!" the obnoxious sound of a bubble being popped disturbed me as I reached into my pockets for my wallet.

"You're total will be $7.95," said the cashier. Her voice was squeaky and sounded like she was just about to die of boredom.

I looked up to pay the girl, but everything went fuzzy and all I could hear was the sound of my change falling to the floor.

The girl was sloppy looking but beautiful at the same time. Her strawberry blond hair was strewn across her face the and the sounds she made while she gracefully chewed her gum were heavenly and each "POP!" sent shivers down my spine. She was wearing a green t-shirt which read "It's not me, it's you."

I had lost track of time when everything around me began to work their way back to my senses. I noticed that the girl was looking at me funny. My breathing came heavily in rapid bursts. _I was staring at her_. Suddenly, I felt like the whole room was closing in on me. Gravity was pushing me down harder and harder.

I ran out of the store as fast as I could. I reached for my second form not caring to check if there were any witnesses. It came to me naturally and I ran as fast as I could back home. I needed to lose myself in running. I was going to fight everything that was my nature.

I felt Sam running behind me, he had changed too. All I wanted was to be alone, but I would never be in my wolf form. I still kept running, wanting to feel the inert numbness that came with being an animal.

When I finally stopped running, I had reached my house. I shifted back to my human form unable to handle being connected to him any longer. I stopped and waited for him, knowing that this was something he wouldn't let me run away from.

"Jacob. We have to talk about this," said Sam, shifting right before my eyes.

"Drop it Sam," I looked straight into his eyes. It was a direct order.

He looked frustrated for a moment and let out a sigh. "Jacob...You imprinted."

I hated hearing those words from his mouth. I hated hearing them out loud. It was like a curse.

I thought deeply for a moment, thinking of Bella. My heart jumped as I saw her in my mind.

"That doesn't mean anything. I...I still love Bella more."

I wasn't scared of hurting Bella. I knew that I just now fell in love with a stranger, but what I felt for Bella was deeper than that. She was my everything. What worried me was what the guys felt for _their _imprints. Could this girl ever take the place of Bella in my heart? Impossible.

Sam tightened his expression and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I know."

**A/N I was going to stop at the part where Sam said "You imprinted", but I'm not that mean. :-. So yeah, a lot of you thought that Jacob would imprint, and you were right. Don't worry, I won't have Jacob run off to be with the girl who I've dubbed extra #3. That would be too easy. And Jacob really does love Bella more...**

** Oh yeah and I said that I will reveal who will have Bella's heart (look up top), but don't worry. Bella will give her heart to one guy, but the other won't be leaving without getting something of Bella's too. **


	19. Here It Comes

**A/N**** Uh oH! Here it comes! okay, I guess I'm pretty happy with this chapter. I think I'm done setting things in motions and now all we have to do is watch the pieces fall where they may. I'm so excited. I was thinking of how I was going to end it and I had a lot of ideas. Even _I_ started to tear up at some of the things my mind came up with. And it's _my _story. Jeez. Anyways, I sort of promise you that whether you are Team Jake, or Team Edward, you will like the resolution.**

Jacob Black was uncharacteristically loving at his party last night. He hovered over me and repeatedly told me how much he loved me. I had no reason to complain because, well it wasn't exactly a bad thing, but the guys were all watching us carefully too. I felt uncomfortable being so intimate with Jake while everyone was around us.

"Bella, I love you," he said.

"I know Jake. I love you too."

"No Bella. I want you to know. I love you more than anything," he looked in my eyes and I could see that he meant everything he was saying. "You...I can't even put into words how you make me feel. I mean...God! Bells it's like I need you, but it's still way more than that. I'd do anything for you."

I grabbed his hand and couldn't contain a chuckle. His words made me so happy that everything around us became insignificant. I placed my hand over his and kissed him.

"Ditto," was all I said. He looked at me disappointedly, but I just tilted my head and smirked. "What? Like I could possibly top what you just said." He rubbed his fingers in mine. "I know exactly how you feel, I _love_ you," I emphasized the word "love". "That says it all."

He smiled at me and I felt the atmosphere start to become intense. We couldn't rip each others' eyes away. Even our innocent touching made it feel like he was still miles apart. My breathing stopped and I gathered myself for a moment. "Hey Jake, not that I mind, but why the need to tell me what I should already know?"

"No reason," he brushed it off. He grabbed me in a tight embrace and we spent the remainder of the night sitting together closely, watching the moon go higher and higher into the starry sky.

I was now getting ready for school reminiscing about Jake. It felt like there was a cannonball resting in the pit of my stomach. I would miss him terribly. Even worse, I knew what was waiting for me at school and I wasn't sure how I would survive without Jake.

I didn't complain much to Jake. I was going to be brave for him, but he still reminded me that I could call him whenever I felt I needed him.

I drove slowly to school and timed it so that when I had arrived, it was already time to go to class.

I had gotten to my seat pretty early and as everyone started pouring in I noticed a familiar someone walking in and it shocked me. I was half expecting this to happen, but I was never able to maintain my calm when _he _was around.

Beautiful Edward spotted me from across the room and smiled. He waved and started walking to sit next to me. I scooted farther away as he took his seat. He looked at me pleasantly.

"Good morning Bella," he greeted me friendly.

"H-Hi..." I looked straight ahead, pretending to be preparing myself for class to start.

I was relieved when the final bell rang, and did the best I could to ignore Edward. It was difficult because he wouldn't stop staring.

When class was finally over, I darted out and headed straight for my next class. Unfortunately, Edward was already sitting in the seat next to where I sat. He looked up and smiled warmly at me. I faked a smile in response and slouched myself next to him, putting my head down until class could start.

The rest of the day continued out in pretty much the same manner. It turns out, Edward had been _coincidently_ placed in all of my classes. I didn't go any further than exchanging casual greetings with him, but by fourth period, before lunch, I couldn't take it.

I had put my head down in my arms waiting for the teacher like I did the previous periods. I was clenching my eyes shut trying to think of anything but Edward.

Our seat was located next to the window and a slight breeze blew by. His scent wafted towards me, enveloping my every sense. He smelled so sweet. I kept my head down even after the teacher began class. I didn't want Edward to see the moisture that had accumulated around my eyes.

At lunch I sat with Angela and Jess as usual. Alice and Edward were back at their old table, isolated from the rest of the school. They looked so lonely, just the two of them. It was like looking at painting. A modern day masterpiece.

I was doing my best to lose myself in one of Jessica's ongoing stories when I felt a cold hand on my shoulder.

I looked up and saw Alice staring at me gravely, though a smile was on her lips. I glanced at her table and saw that Edward was gone.

"Bella...will you come with me?," I couldn't refuse the emotion that belied her expression.

I got up and Alice led me outside to the courtyard. No one was around, so we sat on a bench together.

"I don't know what to do," Alice suddenly buried her face in her hands.

"Alice, what's wrong?" It was so hard to see the constantly gleeful vampire so sad.

"I thought it would go away, but he's not coming back to me. Jasper...He was trying so hard. We were alone and I was trying to help him, but something snapped. He just...broke."

"What do you mean?" I was scared and confused by what she was saying. I didn't know why she was telling me all this.

"He's so cold. Distant. He looks at me and I can't feel him. I miss him so much, but no matter what I do he won't return to me. He just stopped feeling anything," her eyes were so bright and I felt like I knew exactly how she felt...once.

"What can I do?" I tried to sound sincere. I had a gut feeling like this was somehow my fault.

"Bella, it happened that night Edward went to your room. Something happened between you two, but I'm not sure what. I know your happy now, but I just thought..." She stopped and closed her eyes.

"What is it Alice?"

"No...never mind," she got up. "I'm sorry Bella. I can't believe I was going to even ask you this." She turned around and ran from me, in a slightly faster than human pace. I could do nothing to follow her.

I tried looking for her in the cafeteria, but she was gone. I tried thinking about what she was going to ask me, but gave up when the thought of Jake popped into my mind.

I borrowed Jessica's cell and called him.

"Hello? Bella, are you alright?" He answered the phone urgently.

"I'm fine Jake. I just called to tell you. They're here. They're back in school and I was just with Alice. Nothing bad happened, but I just wanted to keep my promise."

"Promise?" he sounded unsure.

"Yeah, I told you that I would call you whenever I was with one of them." I thought it odd that he would forget the promise so fast.

"I know Bella, I didn't forget. It's just that..." there was a pause. "Oh Bells, thanks for calling. I appreciate it. I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah," I replied. "I love you."

"I love you," he responded with what I thought sounded like sadness and hung up.

Edward wasn't in my last two classes like I expected him to be. I hadn't seen any sign of Alice the rest of the day either.

By the time school was over, I walked to my truck and found Edward leaning against it with his head leaning back and his hands in his pockets. His eyes were closed, but I knew he knew I was there. He was just waiting for me to come.

I walked slowly towards him, bracing myself.

He opened his eyes and turned his head towards me. I stopped in my tracks, caught in his gaze.

"Bella..." he greeted, all pretenses of him being happy were dropped. "I don't know how many times I have already said this to you, and I don't know how many reasons I have to say it, but I say it once again. I'm sorry," I wasn't going to forgive him. For whatever it was he was apologizing for this time. I tried to force my way into the driver's seat but he didn't budge. I walked right into him and he held me by my sides. My body hardened and I tried my best to keep from falling apart in his arms.

"Bella...I can't do this to you. All I wanted was to be a part of your life. I couldn't lose you. I was only thinking of myself, I didn't realize..." he looked at me pleadingly.

"W-wha?" I found myself entranced.

Edward smiled softly. He raised one hand and placed it on my cheek, his thumb wiping away invisible tears. "I smelled your tears," he was talking about fourth period. "I thought we could at least be friends. I didn't take into account how much it would hurt you. I didn't think that I would affect you so much," he smiled again, a little less sad. "I love you and all I want is for you to be happy. I won't let you shed anymore tears because of me. It will probably kill me to do it, but I think...I have to let you go."

I was lost in his touch. He leaned in closer to me...slowly. I didn't move, but just closed my eyes trying to be strong. He placed a soft kiss between my eyebrows and said goodbye before disappearing.

I felt my knees weaken and I managed to make it into my truck before breaking down. I clutched the steering wheel, knowing I wouldn't be able to drive myself home. He was leaving again? I rested my head on the dashboard and let the sobs come out.

"Jacob! I need you." I cried to myself inside my truck. I knew he wouldn't hear me.

I started the engine. I was going to try to drive to La Push. I knew it wasn't safe in my condition, but I _needed_ Jake. I could barely see the road ahead of me, but I changed gears into reverse. My truck rattled and my hands shook on the wheel. I backed out uncontrollably, but then I suddenly stopped. The keys were no longer in the ignition.

Before I knew it, I was in Jake's arms. I was sitting on his lap and I rested my head in his chest. I was crying into him and he just held me close.

"I'm here Bells. I'm here," he whispered.

**A/N Okay, _here it comes_. The next chapter will have The final outcome. I am almost done with this story. This story will be resolved in a couple of chapters. Be ready for some major waterworks. The next one will be the Jake chapter again. it will be his climax in the story. Then some Edward/Jake scenes, then some Jasper/Edward/Bella scenes then some Bella/Edward scenes. Of course, I could rearrange the order of how things happen depending on how I want the outcome to be.**


	20. Sacrificial Wolf

**A/N**** Here's Jakey.**

**JPOV **

I drove Bella back to my house while she let herself go in my arms. How could she hurt so much? I wanted to fix her, but I wasn't sure how.

I laid her down next to me on my bed. She clung to me and I hugged her close. She said that I had always made her better when she needed me, but I never knew how I did it. I tried to comfort her as best I could. She didn't stop crying, no matter how much I wished she would.

I had witnessed what had happened to make her this way. He was leaving her again, and it killed me that she hurt so much because of it. I knew she still loved him, but she loved me too. She needed me and I needed her. We would get married someday and have children of our own. I was ready to spend the rest of our days together and our lives would be perfect. She just had to get over-

"Jacob, I love you," she lifted herself from my chest and looked at me through her red, swollen eyes.

"I love you more," I said.

"No you don't. I love you Jacob. I need you," she lifted herself up to her elbows and propelled herself upwards to kiss me.

I kissed her back and she placed her hands around my neck. I heard her let out a soft moan which made me go wild.

She deepened our kiss and her hands traveled upwards. She knotted her fingers around my hair and pulled hard, crushing our faces closer together. If I were human, I knew that the force she used against my head would of hurt. It didn't hurt me, so I let her keep her grasp.

We were both gasping for air and she trailed her tongue against my bottom lip as I tried to give my lungs the oxygen they needed. She bit down on it gently and I had to have her lips on mine again.

I kissed her harder than I ever had before. I felt her hands wander from my hair and she reached for the hem of my pants. She let her fingers circle the waistband of my boxers and she reached to undo the button of my jeans. I had to stop her there.

I reached for her hands and held them to her side. I pulled my face away from hers, but she followed mine and refused to let our lips part.

"Bella...Bella," I gasped out. "We have to stop." She continued to kiss me after I said my part.

"Why?" She looked at me seductively. "Don't you want this?" She moved her mouth down to my neck.

"Bells, please. I want this so much." I truly did not want to stop. But I couldn't take this any further. I grabbed her by her shoulders and lifter her off of me. "But, this isn't right. This isn't what you want," she opened her mouth to argue, but I cut her off. "Not right now at least."

"You don't want me?"she asked. The rejection she felt from not only me, but from Edward as well was evident in her voice.

I pulled her back close to me wanting to comfort the hurt and lonely soul of insider of her.

"Bella I love you. Just not now. I know what you're going through, I don't want to take advantage of the situation. I know you hurt,but what you want won't take the pain away. Not permanently."

She didn't respond, but her body shook and I felt the sobs come back. I held her close again and watched her until she finally went to sleep.

She was still crying after she drifted off. I had never known Bella to cry in her sleep when I was around.

A few minutes after, I noticed that in all the pain she was feeling, I ignored the one or two streams of tears that came from my eyes. I had to make everything better for Bella. I knew what I was going to do.

I quietly picked myself off of the bed and took one last glance at my sweet love. I knew what I was doing was the right thing when I saw her scrunch up into a ball and let out soft whimpers.

I wanted more than anything to just go lay back down with her and comfort her through her nightmares. I walked out of my house vowing that I would take her pain away.

I shifted into my wolf form and called for only Sam. I would need someone to drive Bella home later.

He appeared before me in a matter of seconds, an angry look on his face.

"Don't do it Jacob. You'll only hurt her."

"I have to do this Sam. Please, just do what I need you to do. This isn't something you need to concern yourself with." I saw his control slipping as I spoke. I had never seen him lose it so fast before.

"I don't need to concern myself?" he yelled. "Bella is my family, she's our family! You can't do this to her, I won't let you!" He was practically snarling at me.

I kept a calm demeanor and held strong. "Sam, will you drop her home later? Just answer me that."

"Jacob. Please, think about this for while. Think about what you're doing."

"I have, Sam," I held up my hand to him, showing him that I was serious. "I have been thinking about this for a while actually. I just didn't know how important it was for me to do until today."

"She loves you Jake. Don't you see that? I've seen the way she looks at you, how you guys can never be apart. She needs you. She's yours now. There is no reason for you to let her go."

"I know she loves me, Sam," I had to break away our eye contact. He had broken through my calm. He just made it so much harder. "I know she's mine, but I can't keep her. She belongs to herself first and foremost. I have seen the very best of Bella when she's around me. Don't you see? She's only ever okay when she's around me. I'm a crutch to her!" my voice grew and I tried to control it so as not to wake Bella too soon.

"You haven't seen her the way I have. She cries every night while she's asleep in her room, and she screams her lungs out. I've watched her every night this week in her room as she slept. The sadness she feels whenever I'm not around. Even now, she's fell asleep crying in my arms, and she still is crying on my bed. She's never done that before Sam! I have to do something."

"There's nothing you can do Jake..."

"I know that Sam. Why do you think I'm going through with this? There _is_ someone who could help her, and he will. I want her to be able to smile and laugh when I'm not around. I want her to feel. I want her to be whole again. She won't ever be that way until she resolves her feelings for him. He broke her, and he needs to fix her. God, I've tried. I tried so hard Sam!"

"Jake..."

"I'm going to tell her I've imprinted. That's all I need to tell her. Then you'll drop her home. Is that clear?" I straightened myself up and did what I had to do.

"Yes," he resigned himself to me. "Will you go back to that girl? Your imprint?"

"No...It wouldn't be fair. My heart belongs to Bella."

"If you let her go now, she won't return to you."

"You don't know that," I smiled softly. "She loves me, Sam. I'm doing this so she can finally get over Edward," it was hard for me to say his name. "Once she closes that chapter of her life, she'll come back to me, and I'll be waiting...I trust her."

**A/N Okay if you think that this chapter moves a little bit too fast, there are other elements to Jake's decision that won't be clear until the next few chapters. Hmmm, I think the next chapter or two will have the one I've been waiting to write.**

** Here's a question, I want a beta, but I'm all confused about how to get one. It's too late in this story for me to get one isn't it? Is it better to just wait until I have a new story to get one?**


	21. Clean Breaking Up and Down

**A/N This story should be ending soon, I feel like it's getting rather long. **

I woke up alone in Jake's bed and immediately shot my head up to look for him. I wanted to call out for him, but my throat was in no condition.

As soon as I stood up, Jake appeared at the doorway sporting a very familiar look in his face. It was one that I hoped never to see again.

"I love you," I spoke wanting to wipe that horrible look off his face before he could do any damage.

I ran to him and clung to his tall frame.

"Please don't look like that Jacob. I love you."

He smiled warmly and softly wrapped his arms around me.

"Bella are you happy?"

I looked up at him, my expression was torn and I doubt I looked convincing as I spoke. "Yes! Yes Jake, I'm happy. I'm happy whenever I'm with you!"

He smiled, but his eyes showed me that what I said was not what he wanted to hear.

"And when I'm not with you?"

I thought about what to say, what I thought he wanted to hear me say.

"Jake, when ever your not around, I hurt. I need you. You make me happy, Without you life is hell. Believe that."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I do," I smiled triumphantly, but the feeling passed. "That's the problem."

"Wha-what do you mean?" my voice was getting higher and I felt the warmth that usually radiated from Jacob into me fade.

"Nothing," he paused for a moment. "Bella, that promise you made me...you said you would call me whenever one of your vampires was around."

"I did! I did Jacob! At school, Alice just wanted to talk and I called you immediately after. Please Jake, I called you! I wouldn't keep things like that from you..."

"Well, have you noticed that whenever the vampire who you seem to be around the most is near, you never call?" His voice wasn't accusatory, but I knew who he was talking about. Edward.

"Jake..."

"I now you never did it on purpose, but I just thought it was weird that you could call me when it was Alice you were with and not her brother." I noticed he was avoiding his name.

"Jake, It's you I want! It's you I choose! I love you, doesn't that mean anything to you anymore?"

Jacob wasn't hiding any of the pain he was feeling. Jacob never hid anything from me. He squeezed me harder and his breathing became irregular.

"Bella, that means everything to me. Your love. Just know that I will always love you too. I'll always be here for you and-"

"What is this all about?" I interrupted. "If you love me then why are we even having this conversation?" My last chance at stopping whatever was coming was to just throw out this entire conversation.

"You still love him. You're miserable and..." He turned away from me and I could see a few streams fall from his eyes. I had never seen Jake cry before. "Bella," he was barely audible. "I don't think that me being with you is best for either of us right now."

"No!" I yelled. I wasn't going to let him sabotage our entire relationship without good reason. "Don't leave me Jake," I begged. "I need you Jake, please! You're all I have. You know how much I need you! You know _why_ I need you. Don't make me feel that way again! Please! I don't want to hurt anymore!"

He still didn't face me. His fists clench tight and he was quivering. If I hadn't seen him crying earlier, I would have thought that he was about to make the change. After a while of him not saying anything, I grabbed his arm.

"Jake, why are you doing this?" I kissed the back of his hand and pulled it closer to me. "I'll do anything. I'll do anything you want. I just want to be with you."

I turned him back to me and kissed him on the lips. Both of our faces were wet as I crushed my lips onto his. I kissed him with everything I had and he did the same. There was both a need and want behind the kiss.

I knew by how our kiss felt that Jacob's love for me was as strong at it had ever been. He would love me always and no matter what, nothing would change that. The mixed signals I was getting threw me off balance.

When we parted I saw the love in his eyes. Every movement he made, the energy he gave off, every sense of his being screamed at me that he didn't ever want to part with me. His words however, the falseness to them I couldn't understand.

"I will always be here Bella."

"It doesn't have to be this way Jacob. Whatever reason you're doing this for, I don't care." I grabbed both of his hands in mine and he caught me in a hard stare and spoke.

"I imprinted."

My hands released his and avoided looking at him. It made so much sense now. It wasn't his fault. It was destiny, he couldn't fight it and neither could I. It didn't stop the pain though. Now I had no one.

I bit my lip hard to keep myself from giving the agony I felt a voice.

I never should have pursued my love for Jake. I should have guarded my heart more carefully. Of course he was going to leave me someday. It was revealed to me so clearly that I would only end up in pain...Maybe that was how I was supposed to feel. I didn't deserve love.

I tried not to feel anything with Jake still standing in front of me. I could hear my old companions calling out for me, pulling me back in to oblivion. I pushed it all back. I couldn't cry in front of him.

"Sam. I need you to drive Bella home now," I heard Jake's wavering voice come out in shallow breaths.

Sam appeared at the door and I was going to chance one final look at Jacob before leaving, but decided not to. Nothing good would come of it.

I followed Sam to his car and he drove me back home. It was a silent drive and I hid myself from him, trying to block out the pain.

"Just a few more minutes," I thought to myself.

I needed to only wait until I got home. I didn't want the vision of me crying to get back to Jake when he and Sam next turned.

When he reached my house, I opened the door and was about to run out when Sam reached for my hand.

"Bella, he loves you. You've dated vampires and werewolves. Imprint or not, you more than anyone should know that you _can_ fight nature. Don't give up on him."

I let the hidden meaning in Sam's words pass by me. I was in no condition to be deciphering messages like that. I ran into my empty house and leaned my back against the front door behind me.

The ache finally pushed its way to my center and I cried out loudly. I didn't know how much more my heart could take. I had never felt so lonely in my life. The pain was almost unbearable. I found myself wishing that I had no family. Because of them, I would have to keep living in torture. Because of Charlie and Renee, I would have to pretend to be strong when all I really wanted to do was die. I was living my life for the sake of others and not my own.

I made my way back to my room clutching my stomach tightly. I heard the sound of a car pulling up in front of the house and ran the rest of the way after I had reached the top of the stairs. I didn't want anyone to see me in my state.

As I ran to my door, I tripped and my face met with the cold wooden floor. I didn't bother to pick myself up and cried feeling comfort in my physical pain. Physical pain was much more bearable than the kind I would always be feeling now.

The physical pain I felt subsided after a few minutes, but I had to curl myself up into a ball because It was the closest I could get to gathering up the pieces of myself all alone.

I placed both palms on the floor in an attempt to push myself up, but I found myself falling back into the floor as one of my hands pushed down on one end of a loose floorboard. The other end flew upwards and hit me in my forehead.

I slumped back to the floor feeling the darkness surrounding me faster than it ever had before. I welcomed it with open arms wondering why it had taken so long to come in the first place.

_Cold as winter, strong as stone;  
She faced the darkness all alone.  
A silver goddess; a reflection.  
A mirage; a recollection.  
No return; no turning back.  
The past is gone, the future, black.  
Serpents gather in their nest,  
And she stands above the rest.  
shadows hunt; she hunts the shadow.  
The moon is risen; she stands below.  
She views her world through the eyes of others.  
Black and white; there are no colors,  
As she looks down upon a shattered youth.  
A shattered mirror shows a shattered truth. _

- Shattered Mirror

**A/N**** Not really much to say. A lot happened. Do you guys want me to rewrite this chapter in Jake's perspective? I understand if you guys want more of his side of the story. If not, I'll just write the next chapter normally.**


	22. In Ruins

**A/N**** Well since you guys didn't feel the need for a Jake chapter. Don't worry though, he'll pop up somewhere near the end. **

I heard the voice calling out to me before I even began to open my eyes.

Jake. Alone. I recalled, not every memory, but every emotion that had been residing within me before everything went black. I winced from the pain.

"Bella! Bella wake up!" I heard a twinkling voice say to me.

I opened my eyes, feeling the light edge its way back into my vision, I saw someone crouching beside me. My head was cradled in her arms as she tried to wake me.

"Alice..." I said with barely any feeling in my voice.

I shut my eyes tightly trying to go back into nothingness. My body quivered as I willed myself unconscious.

"Bella, stop that!" Alice yelled.

I opened my eyes when the feelings didn't fade. I was exhausted. I noticed behind Alice was a bored looking Jasper. I thought they were leaving again?

"What are you doing here Alice? I thought you left?" I said, sitting myself up. I felt a wave of dizziness and Alice caught me as I tried to steady myself.

"Leaving? What are you talking about? We're not going anywhere Bella," she said.

"But Ed- he said that he was leaving me again. He was letting me go...Everyone's letting me go..."

"Oh Bella..." she looked at me sympathetically.

"What happened?" I asked feeling the bump that was forming on my forehead.

"Well, we were coming to talk to you. We were right outside and I heard a loud 'thump' coming from your room. That's when we found you. You were out for a couple of minutes."

She stared at the loose floorboard that had managed to knock me out. I followed her gaze to the plank sized hole in my floor, but she quickly caught my gaze.

"What did you want to talk to me about Alice?" I asked. I just wanted to be alone.

She caught the wariness in my eyes and sighed as she looked at Jasper with uncried tears in her eyes.

"I told you about Jasper already. He won't do anything and I practically had to drag him all the way here. I know this will sound selfish Bella, but I think you're the key. I think you can help him. I wouldn't have asked, but I'm afraid for him.

"He won't even hunt Bella! If this goes on any longer, I don't know how much longer he'll last."

"What can I do Alice?" I looked at Jasper. His face was so blank. Peaceful, dead almost. Compared to how I was dealing, he looked positively ecstatic.

"I'm not sure...I know that you went through the same thing, but you got yourself out. You found happiness. You found Jake. I was hoping that...I don't know. I thought _something_ would happen."

At the mention of his name, my breathing caught. I hadn't really had the time to face his imprinting.

"Alice, could we talk about this later. I just want to be alone for a while," I said weakly. I could already feel the water gathering around my eyelids. I felt guilty for turning her away, but I knew there was nothing I could do to help her.

She looked desperately back at Jasper and then to me. I know she didn't want to, but she slowly got herself up.

"I'm not leaving you alone. Jasper and I will just be downstairs alright?" I nodded and she pulled Jasper out of the room.

As soon as my door shut behind them, I collapsed back into the floor feeling sorry for myself. I stayed motionless for a while, afraid to move. I was hopeless. I felt hopeless.

Was this all a nightmare? Now, the horrors that had plagued me every night were spilling out of my dreams and into reality. There was no place to hide anymore.

I grabbed the edge of my bed this time as I tried to pull myself up. I managed to get on my knees when the plank that was sticking up from the floor caught my eye again. I grabbed it and peered into the hole it was in. There were things I never thought I would see again inside of it.

My heartbeat doubled and I felt a tingle of joy as the good memories resurfaced. My heart ached for those happy times. A single tear fell to my cheek. It was a happy tear.

I looked through the stuff I found and stopped at the pictures. It was too much. I saw pictures of Edward on my birthday. He was so beautiful and he looked so happy. I missed everything. When I looked at the next picture, I couldn't stop myself from bawling. It was Edward again, but he looked apprehensive. He had "the look". At least now I knew what he was thinking at the time. He knew he was going to leave me that first time. I couldn't help but see Jake in the picture as well.

I hated the look I saw in the picture. I immediately began ripping it to shreds and then the only one left was the one of the Edward I used to have. I couldn't bring myself to ruin that one. I urgently wiped my face with my hands when one of my tears had fallen on to the picture. I didn't want to damage it.

"You ruined everything!" I yelled to the picture. I hugged it close to my heart while closing my eyes. "You ruined it..."

In the middle of all my sobbing, I felt the brush of cold fingers wipe away my tears. I still didn't open my eyes. I didn't want to talk to Alice yet. Not releasing my hold on the picture, I let her wrap me in a tight and cold embrace. I buried my face into her hard chest...she smelled different.

"I thought I told you not to shed any more tears over me."

**A/N**** I'm tired of making Bella cry. Sheesh. But not to worry, next chapter she won't have it in her. I can't believe some thought I would make Bella hurt herself! C'mon, that's not angsty, that's just morbid.**


	23. Bella Dies

**A/N**** Yay, about two more chapters to go! Maybe three. There might be a sequel, but I'll talk to you guys about that later. I liked writing this chapter. More or less, it was typed closely to what I planned out in my mind. It's weird. There is a lot of detail in this chapter and a lot of the big things in this chapter are based on elements of the story that I haven't planned out at all.**

When I heard his velvety voice I raised my head up to look at him. I wasn't as surprised as I should have been. He was gazing at me with kind eyes and I couldn't believe he was there. I reached up to touch his face and I felt him shudder at my finger tips.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered.

"I'll always be here for you Bella."

"You're left me," I said, not being able to look into his eyes.

He placed his cold fingers under my chin and lifted my head back up to look at him and I couldn't break away.

"Bella, I didn't. Me leaving you again would be impossible. I know it was wrong, but I lied. I lied Bella," he said almost happily. "I was never going to leave you, I had always planned to watch over you.

"I was going to let you live your life out happily with Jacob Black, but I wanted to be able to see you still. I had to make you think I wasn't around because I didn't want you to be burdened by my presence."

I let his words pass by me. They weren't important at the moment. I had found the truth after finding those pictures, the reason behind it all.

I scooted myself back near my bed and away from Edward. He made no move to stop me, but he watched me like I was moving hundreds of miles away instead of a few feet.

"That wasn't what I was talking about." I said, my voice stern.

He froze instantly and the look of utter sadness returned to his face. We were returning to the conversation that we never really had a chance to finish the first time he came back.

"Bella, it was a mistake. I wish I could take it back. But you have to understand why I did it. I had so save you from myself."

"I understand _why_ you did it, Edward," He looked at me seriously, he knew that my one slightly positive declaration foreshadowed something worse.

I was slowly starting to lose control and the desperation was becoming evident in my voice. "I understand_why_," I repeated. "What I don't understand is _how_."

He looked as if he were trying decipher just what I was getting at. I almost felt bad. I was letting my grief for Jacob spill into my own for Edward, but I had to get it out.

"I don't understand _how _you could say those things to me Edward...That I was just a distraction... That you never loved me..." he flinched and balled up his hands into fists as he listened to what I said.

"You meant everything to me. You had to have known that. You knew that I had always thought that I was never good enough for you. I still do. And you took it all away from me. You took it all when you left," I spoke without raising my voice. I doubt I would have been able to speak any louder than I did without my voice cracking.

"All lies! Bella I always loved you! " he cried out in anguish.

"Yet you still left me," I stared at my knees, avoiding his eyes. "I loved you Edward. I loved you so much, but you still left. Was it not enough?"

"Stop it," he pleaded at me clearly hurt.

I looked up at him and he was in worse shape than me. It was not something I could bear seeing, so I focused my eyes on the heavy movements of his chest rising and falling and listening to his unnecessary, but rough breathing.

"Stop what?" I asked.

"Stop talking in past tense! 'You meant everything to me.'. 'I loved you.'

"What hurts more than you slapping me, or even you telling me you hate me, is you telling me that you have stopped loving me altogether."

"I never said that."

"Then tell me you love me again."

"No." I barely go out.

"Why?"

"Because I gave you my heart, and you rejected it. I gave it to Jake and now he's gone too..." the sob escaped from my chest and my voice rose sharply as I said the word 'too'.

Edward looked at me unsurprised at what I had said about Jacob, he looked like all he wanted to do was hold me and make it all better, but I wouldn't let him.

"I can't do it anymore."

"Bella, you can't stop yourself from loving. Love is something special and beautiful. It's what I feel when I think of you. It's what I experience when I see you. It's what makes my life worth living.

"You did the exact same thing," I scoffed.

"Bella I left _because_ of my love for you. You're too precious to me," his voice softened.

"This was never about me Edward Cullen! This was always about you and some masochistic notion that you don't deserve to be happy. I thought I made you happy. We were happy."

"Bella, how can I show you how much you mean to me? How can I prove to you that I love you?"

"I want you to say to me what you said to me earlier. I wish I could hear that you were never really gone the whole time. That you loved me too much to stay away. That you were watching over me the entire time."

"If I had caught even a single glimpse of you Bella, do you honestly believe that I would have been able to stay away?

"I'm here now, Bella. Is it too late? Please, did I not make it back it time?"

I clutched my hands tightly and realized that I was still holding the picture of Edward in my hands. I looked down at it once more and back to Edward. The difference was almost frightening. How had it come to this? I stared at the picture for a while, brushing my fingers across the image of Edward's face. I whispered his name into the picture and let it fall to the floor. That was it.

As soon as the picture left my hands, I felt myself crashing. Edward had moved closer to me and was kneeling in front of me. He grabbed my hands in his.

"Bella..." I looked up at him for the first time in what felt like a long time. His eyes were a smoldering onyx.

He leaned in closer to me. I knew he was going to kiss me. I didn't move. I was too caught up in his eyes. He was closing the gap between us, moving at an excruciatingly slow speed to allow me to pull away if I wanted to. He moved in inch by inch. Centimeter by centimeter. I wanted to let him kiss me. I wanted to to want him to kiss me, but it felt wrong.

He had kissed me before and everyone had felt perfect. This kiss we were about to share involved too much thinking on my part. It wasn't right. And then my mind flashed to Jake.

I tore my eyes from his and placed my hands on his shoulders to push him away.

"Edward I can't. It hurts too much. I don't want it to hurt anymore. I don't want to hurt," I cried.

He looked at me without saying a word.

"Please, just take it away. Take it all away," I spoke quietly and shut my eyes, letting the last tears fall from my face. I knew that vampire hearing would allow me to be heard from anywhere in the house. Edward looked at me confused wondering what to do, but I wasn't counting on him to do anything. "Please _Jasper_. Just take it all away."

And then I felt it. The pain, gone. The tears, gone. Everything was starting to numb off and die. And I couldn't have been happier.

**A/N**** I know I don't really add much detail, but it's because I try to focus on getting out those key moments and feelings first. If I don't then I forget hehe. Okay, it will be much easier for me to write from now on. I am now done with the angst. Well..there is a kicker at the end, but that won't be so bothersome for me. It has to do with the gift...if you guys still remember about it. **


	24. Flares

**A/N**** Sorry for the long wait. Here's a short chapter. It could have been longer, but meh. It's spring break. Okay, probably two more chapters left.**

"Jasper NOOOO!" I heard a familiar voice echo from downstairs. 

My whole body felt lighter and I could only barely focus on what was going on around me. It felt like I was submerged under water and everything else was far away...insignificant. 

The pain was still there. A flicker. Jasper was making me like him. He was saving me. The process wasn't instantaneous. It was slow and I could feel the weight in my chest lessen gradually. 

I kept watching the flicker inside me. If there was anything left for me to feel, it was scared. I wanted Jasper to hurry. I was worried that he might lose control and let the tiny flicker spread again, engulfing my entirety. 

I never let my focus slip away from the flicker. It was getting smaller and smaller. Almost...almost...

"Bella! Bella!"

I saw the flame pulsate. It got slightly larger, then shrunk back down again. I heard my own heart beat quicken. '_No!' _I regained my focus and blocked out everything else. '_Hurry Jasper! Let it die!'_

"Bella! Don't leave me please!"

I was being shaken and coldness engulfed me. I shivered. Although my temperature dropped, the flame seemed to have grown larger.

The darkness around me faded and my senses began to return slowly. I was in someone's arms. Edward's. His face was beside mine and I noticed how tight his hold was on me. It wasn't painful, but it was more than what he was usually comfortable with.

He pulled away to look at me. His face was torn and he stared into my eyes. It didn't seem right. The look on his face made me feel like it wasn't supposed to be there. It confused me. 

I placed my hand on his cheek trying to see what bothered me so much about his expression. He felt cold under my palm. '_So that's where the coldness came from._' He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply under my touch.

"Why so sad?" I asked.

He gave me no response, but just kept peering into my eyes. He was studying them. 

"Bella," he said urgently. "Do you love me?"

The flicker inside me expanded greatly. I cursed myself for leaving it unattended. I held back a cough at the surge I felt.

I looked at Edward briefly and his eyes grew as he saw mine. He must have seen what he was looking for. I desperately went back to ignoring the world around me. I guarded the flicker and watched it shrink back again slowly as Jasper continued to heal me.

"Bella! Come back to me!"

I was being shaken again, harder this time and the vertigo snapped me back to my senses and away from the shrinking flame.

"No, stop it!" I yelled. I was doing my best to contain the flicker.

"Bella don't do this! Don't run away!"

The look of fear and anguish on his face only made my control on my emotions falter.

"Please! Don't do this!" I pleaded. "Don't make me go back!" I wished for him to let Jasper finish it. To let the flicker die off.

"Bella, I can't live without you. I love you. Don't leave me alone," he cried out to me pulling me closer to him, refusing to loosen his hold on my by even a little bit.

The flicker pulsated and fanned out wildly. I knew Jasper was having difficulty, but the flicker always began shrinking again after a while.

"Jasper is helping to make me better Edward. He's taking away the pain," I tried to explain.

"No Bella. He's taking away more than that! Jasper always manipulates our emotions, he never takes them away, Bella. What your doing- when he's done, there'll be nothing left! Please stop this!"

I already knew what Jasper was doing, but Edward's words had given a new weight to my decision.

I let my focus fall back to Edward. Every time it did, the flicker fluttered. Edward looked at me with such intensity, I couldn't help but rethink my position.

"Edward...Do you really still love me?" I asked unsure.

"Always Bella. Always. You are everything to me. Please come back to me."

I looked away from him. I had to think quick before the flicker became too small again. I kept my gaze to the floor.

"Edward...I-I'm scared."

"Bella," he grabbed my hands in his. "Look at me." I raised my head slowly to look at his. His smoldering eyes glistened. "Isabella Swan, I promise you that I will never give you a reason to be scared of being with me. I will devote myself to you and do all that is possible to make you happy. I love you."

Every word he spoke rang with truth and I decided that whatever might happen to me, he was worth the risk. I nodded my head and looked at Edward assuredly.

"Jasper, please stop." I said quietly knowing he would hear me. I waited.

Nothing happen. The flicker was still shrinking. 

"Jasper, you can stop it now." I said louder.

The flicker still shrunk, even faster now that Edward wasn't speaking to me. I looked up at him before the darkness surrounded me and I was plunged back into deep water.

"I'm sorry Edward. He won't stop," I said, not as hysterical as I should have been. The numbness was already beginning to take over.

"No Bella! Fight it! Don't leave me!"

"I'm so sorry Edward," I said blankly, almost insincerely.

I watched flicker shrink down smaller than it had ever gone before. I felt a tinge of sadness, but I knew that it would die out along with the flicker. It was too late now. I looked up to see Edwards facial expression become more and more contorted in pain.

I watched how his face worsened in relation to how small the flicker was. He placed his hands on either side of my face and I could barely feel the cold anymore. It was a small glint and I knew it was going to die off anytime now. 

_3..._

It was what I wanted...right?

_2..._

I couldn't see the flicker anymore. I could feel it barely, but Jasper was almost done.

_1..._

I felt lips on my own as Edward kissed me one final time. I opened my eyes and saw that his were closed. It felt just like the goodbye kiss he had given me the first time he left. I didn't want it to be goodbye. I didn't want him to leave me again.

Just then, the flicker, an infinitesimal size by now, rose up and engulfed my entire being. It shot up and out everywhere. Color exploded all around me and my body tingled with a fire that didn't burn.

I wrapped my hands in Edward's bronze hair and deepened our kiss. Neither of us pulled away until I had to let out for air. I gasped out heavily like I had just been saved from drowning.

Edward stared at me skeptically.

"Bella?" he asked whispering.

I merely took him back in my arms in response. He gripped me hard and I shook as his body shuddered. His face was buried in the crook of my neck as I felt him dry sob into me. I rubbed his back, moving my hand up and down trying to comfort him. Just touching him comforted me enough.

I pulled back from Edward to face him.

"I'm sorry," was all I could say.

"I thought you left me. I thought I lost you," he said sadly.

"You stayed with me. You didn't leave." I smiled slightly at him.

"I'm never leaving you again, Bella." I simply nodded. "I love you," he declared once again before leaning in to kiss me. I didn't pull away.

**JPOV**

I let my power douse out Bella's fire. I was surrounded by darkness, and now Bella would be too. Her fire was difficult to extinguish. It kept fluctuating, but I kept a constant hold on it as I eventually began to whittle it away. I was engrossed in Bella's heart. It took all of my attention to just fight back the resistance I felt.

I dove deeper and deeper into Bella's pain, her core. It was only a matter of time before it died out. I was going to finish it. I let the fire die down and it became lost in the darkness. I was almost done with my task.

Before I cold react, her fire sprang up beyond my control. It burst out uncontrollably and engulfed Bella. I was caught in the fire in the process. It burned and scorched me, but I felt no pain. 

My darkness faded and the light from the _explosion_ filled my world. My thoughts swirled around inside me until only one coherent thought remained.

"ALICE!"

**A/N ****Just squeezed in the Jasper bit in there so as not to leave out any loose ends. Okay the next chapter will be their resolution and the last chapter will be Jake's resolution. Notice how Bella still didn't say she loved Edward? I will post sequel details on the last chapter. **


	25. My heart is Damaged

**A/N**** Umm, here's the next chapter. Sorry it took so long. At least this one is a somewhat long chapter hehe.**

Edward greedily kept his hold tight, refusing to release me. I didn't try to break away from his grasp and just let myself become lost in his arms. My mind drifted thinking about how things used to be and how they were now.

I certainly never stopped loving Edward, but I was different now. Suddenly, our love wasn't so pure anymore. It wasn't as innocent.

I was pulled out of my reverie as I noticed two glowing orbs in my periphery. Edward was looking at me intently with an expression on his face that I couldn't quite place.

"What's wrong?" I asked before getting dazzled by him.

"N-nothing," he said, still wearing the same expression. "I just can't believe you're really here-with me I mean." He trailed his cold fingers gently across my face as if he were proving to himself that I were real.

"I know what you mean," I said as I tilted my head in whatever direction his fingers were going in, trying to feel his touch as much as I could. "I still think this is a dream. That this isn't real."

His fingers stopped brushing against my face. Edward leaned his forehead against mine looking at me seriously. He lifted his head slightly to place a kiss on the tip on my nose, then my chin, and finally my lips.

"I'm never leaving you. I'll be here as long as you have me."

"Don't even say that."

"Say what?"

"You said you'd stay as long as I'd have you. Don't say that. That means that there is still a possibility that you won't be here. I don't like it."

The crooked smile I loved so much formed on his face. I felt my heart quicken and Edward slowly leaned in towards my chest. He propped his ear above my heart for a few seconds. I reveled in the scent of his hair while his head was lowered.

When he rose back up, his face held a puzzled expression. Almost sad.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I asked worried.

"Bella, why-"

"Bella!" I jumped up in Edward's arms as Alice's voice screeched in my ears.

She was smiling emphatically at the doorway of my room. She was wrapped snugly in Jasper's arms and they both looked like they couldn't get close enough to each other. Jasper never took his eyes off of Alice and didn't say a word.

"Bella, Edward, glad everything worked out," she screeched before disappearing from my sight as Jasper carried Alice off and out of the house. "See you guys later!" I heard her scream out giddily right before I was out of her hearing range.

I looked at Edward confused at what I had just seen.

He merely shrugged. "They're making up for lost time."

"Oh," was all I could say. It felt like an intrusion of their intimacy just _thinking _of what Edward was talking about.

His gaze caught mine again and I noticed the light was gone from Edward's eyes. "I don't even know how I can begin to making it up to. How to make up for our lost time."

I leaned in and placed a passionate kiss on his lips. I broke away and he didn't try to hide the disappointment on his face.

"How's that for a start?"

"It's not the start I'm concerned about now," he said. "I want to see what it's like up until the end."

"There won't ever be an end," I said. His mouth propped up into the crooked smile again.

I felt my heartbeat quicken in response and the same frustrated look appeared on Edwards face.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Is it the same thing you were going to say before Alice popped up?"

"It's nothing," he said uneasily. "It's just that...it doesn't sound the same."

"What doesn't"

"Your heart. It's doesn't beat as..._enthusiastically _as it did before..."

"What? Am I alright? Do I need to go see a doctor?"

"No no, Bella. It's just that," he paused to think of his next words. "I know it will take time for you to open yourself to me again."

I looked down not knowing what to say. I wasn't sure if I could open my heart up to anyone anymore. I was already damaged.

"What's troubling you? What's holding you back?"

"I don't know, Edward." I said, not really enjoying being in his arms anymore. "I'm not ready."

"I understand," he spoke softly. "I know about what happened with Jacob. You still love him..."

He was masking the hurt on his face, but I could see it in his eyes. The way he was looking at me, but not as deeply. I did love Jacob. We had just broken up, and I was still hurting, but that wasn't why I wasn't ready.

I was comforted knowing that Jacob had found his imprint. I wanted him to be happy. That's what love is.

"It's not Jake..."

"Then what is it? What's wrong Bella? Please tell me."

"I'm just trying to be more wary." I said, avoiding his eyes.

"Wary of what exactly?" he raised his eyebrows at me and spoke softly.

I didn't answer. I buried my face into his chest trying to avoid the subject. I inhaled deeply before he lovingly pulled me away to look at him.

"Bella. I told you I'm not leaving. I'm here forever. I am yours to keep. You need to believe that."

I still didn't respond. It sounded all...hokey. Too good to be true.

He lifted my chin up to kiss me again when he noticed my reluctance. He let our kiss deepen and it ended all too soon.

"I love you," he whispered, his face only an inch away from mine.

"Why?" I asked. He simply smiled back at me.

"Because you're my angel."

"It doesn't make sense...I'm sorry but it just doesn't," I pleaded.

"It made sense when you left. Too much sense. Now you're back and I can't understand. I'm glad you're here with me, but it just doesn't fit.

"Why do you love me? I'm not good enough for you Edward. I never was."

I turned away from him with difficulty because I was still wrapped up in his arms.

To my surprise, I felt Edward let go. I felt hot tears sting my eyes and I realized how alone it felt not being enraptured by his hugging.

"Bella," I heard him before I saw him.

Edward was crouching in front of me now. His face wasn't what I expected to look like after my confession. I had expected him to be hurt, or angry with my doubt in him, but his face only held love.

"Leaving you was the worst possible thing I could have done. I was dead inside. I'm here now and although I don't deserve it, I'm happy. I'm happy being here with you. The things you're telling me, I can relate to more than you know. Most of those thoughts of yours are the reason why I left."

My heart thudded at his words. I knew what I had said was true, but I wasn't expecting it to hurt so much. I wasn't expecting him to actually _agree_ with me.

"No no no," Edward quickly rushed out when he saw my face. "What I meant was that I left because I didn't think _I_ was good enough for you. I couldn't for the life of me think of why you would love something like me..."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he placed his finger on my lips to stop me, indicating that he wasn't finished.

"Bella, don't give in to your doubts. Don't leave me. That's our problem. We have to accept the fact that we're soul mates," he gave me a heartbreaking grin and my heart melted. "I love you."

"I love you too," I said.

We spent a while talking about how miserable we both were without each other. I learned early on that I would have to sugarcoat a lot of things, to prevent hurting Edward. The hours seemed to pass by and it was all ruined when I couldn't manage to contain a powerful yawn.

"You should go to bed now," he spoke softly to me.

Edward placed on my bed after I had finished my human moment. He laid the covers over me and plopped himself next to me. He began humming my lullaby to me and I felt finally at peace.

"Goodnight my love," Edward cooed.

"You'll stay with me?" I asked before letting sleep claim me.

Silence. I heard Edward sigh and the sound of his breath escaping immediately woke me back up. I sat up quickly on my bed too see the regretful look on Edward's face.

"You're leaving me?" I asked in a high pitched voice.

Edward didn't speak for what seemed like a long while. "I'm not going to keep things from you anymore, Bella. I'm just planning a little visit after you go to sleep. I'll be back before you wake."

"Take me with you," I shot back at him. I wanted to see the family too. He might as well bring me along.

"I don't think that I should."

"Please, don't leave me alone. I don't want to be apart from you."

"You'll be asleep when I'm gone."

"But you won't..."

"True," he shrugged at me. "I don't know if I would be able to handle being away from you for so long."

"Then take me with you. I want to go see the rest of the family."

"Bella...I'm not going back to the house...not yet."

"Then where are you going?"

There was another pause. Who could Edward be going to see and why wouldn't he want to take me? I searched my mind and it came to me. I almost wished that it hadn't.

"I'm going to see Jacob Black."

**A/N**** Finally. Sheesh, next chapter is the last. Then the one after that will just be some extra stuff. Hmm one final meeting with Jacob Black. What will happen? Who knows?**


	26. Epilogue

**A/N** **Time for the final bow. Here is the final chapter. And since it's such a special Chappy, this ending will consist of three parts. Three points of view. Three characters. Which ones? The main players of course! Thanks for all the Reviews! I swear I usually fizzle out during the end of things, videogames, movies, homework, books, even this! The reviews helped a lot. I really appreciate them!  
**

**BPOV**

We descended the stairs in silence. Edward never broke contact with me while we snuck out of the house.

He kept my hand in his squeezing it every once and a while. I couldn't help but feel like my heart was being squeezed too. I was afraid to ask. I wasn't sure why Edward wanted to go visit Jake. Would they fight? Would they...well, the only outcome I could think of was them fighting.

Even worse still was not knowing. I wasn't sure how I would react having to face Jake so soon. Edward came back to me, but even _I_ couldn't tell how deeply I would be affected when I saw Jake next. I was going to find out soon.

We reached the front door of my house when Edward hesitated. I stopped behind him waiting for him to open the door, and when he did, I was surprised to see Jasper waiting for us on the other side. His hair was disshelved and his clothes were wrinkled and slightly ripped.

"Alice told me that I should come here and wait for you," he said with a slightly disappointed tone. He was obviously not happy that he was separated from Alice, but if she told him to come, he would have had no choice.

"That wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that Bella and I were just about to pay a visit to the Black residence would it?"

Jaspers eyes shot up at the mention of the Blacks. "I'm going," he said quickly before walking over to the Volvo.

The drive to La Push consisted me in the passenger seat, Jasper in the back and Edward driving. No one spoke. The silence was almost palpable. Edward still hadn't given me anymore details about his sudden need to talk to Jacob Black.

As we passed the former border I noticed Edward slow down momentarily before speeding up again. Not even he was used to the peace yet.

We stopped somewhere near a dirt road, about five minutes away from Jake's house. Jasper got out of the car without saying a word and started walking in the direction of the house.

Edward and I stayed in the car, in silence. I gripped his hand tightly when I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Edward, why are we so far away?"

"I want you to stay in the car, okay?"

"I want to go with you," I said sounding like a child, but not really caring.

"Bella, please, I don't want you to have to deal with this," he leaned over to place a kiss on my forehead. "If you go with us it will only hurt you. That's why I originally planned to go while you were sleeping."

Fear raced through me. I began to wish that Jasper hadn't left yet so he could tell Edward how worried I was.

"Please, I don't want you to fight. I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want to get anyone hurt." I didn't want Jake to get hurt either, but I just included him in the 'anyone' category.

Edward let out an amused chuckle and I gave him an angry look. How could he laugh? My insides were twisting, worried about people I cared about getting hurt, and he laughs? He seemed to catch on to my feelings because he wiped the grin off his face to speak to me.

"Bella, I'm not here to fight."

"You're not? Then why is Jasper here?" I asked, not really believing him.

He caught the doubt in my face. "Bella, I wouldn't lie to you. I told you that I'm not going to keep things from you anymore. Keeping things from you for your protection causes more damage than actually telling you." He wiped a strand of hair out of my face before continuing. "Jasper is here for the same reason I am...To say 'thank you'.

"Thank you?" I thought out loud. "What did he do for you?"

Edward smirked. "You really don't know?" I shook my head. "Although he didn't know it at the time, he protected my heart. And when I finally came to my senses, he gave it back to me."

He kissed me softly before starting the engine again.

"So you've decided to take me along?" I asked playfully.

"Well, it seems dear Bella, that some things I overlooked have just now come to my attention. It's really quite shameful."

I cocked my head to the side pressing for him to explain.

"Well you didn't actually think I would leave you alone in the car in the middle of the night in werewolf territory no less?"

**EPOV**

I can't believe I didn't think about where I would make Bella wait for me. She wasn't supposed to come after all, but I was glad she did.

I drove to the front of the Blacks' house. It was still farther than Bella would have liked, but it was a close enough distance so I could keep an eye on her in the car.

I was uneasy with Bella confronting Jacob Black so soon. I urged for her to stay in the car and she agreed, not without a fight though. The reason I didn't want Bella to come was because her pain was still fresh. There was also the anxiety I felt when I thought about her feelings for him. I berated myself for feeling so insecure. I had brought all of this upon myself and my loved ones as well.

I stepped out of the car, stealing one more kiss from Bella before catching up with Jasper just outside of the door.

I could smell him inside, and I was pretty sure he smelt us as well. The door opened before we even had a chance to knock and out stepped the do-_Jacob_. He looked at the two vampires defensively and I knew he had to remind himself of the peace. I saw him look past me and his eyes widened. I could tell he had caught Bella's gaze.

I quickly stepped in his line of sight, blocking his view of Bella and vice versa. I clenched my jaw thinking of how Bella was feeling.

Jacob let out a slight growl after I blocked his view of Bella.

"What do you want?" he asked impatiently.

"We would like to talk," I peered past his shoulders seeing that no one else was home. "May we come inside?"

I made sure that he went in first to keep him from looking at Bella again. I was last to enter, but before I did I glanced back at Bella in the car.

She seemed distraught. She noticed me watching her and a weak smile graced her lips. She was so brave. She nodded at me telling me that it was okay and I walked into the house.

"Thank you," Jasper was the first to speak.

"For what?" he asked somewhat morosely. I looked around. The house was a mess. His clothes were sloppy, and I noticed for the first time how miserable he looked. The state of disarray his house was in only proved my assumption.

"You gave Bella back to us," Jasper spoke his words few, but meaningful like always. He had as much reason to be grateful than I did. Bella coming back not only saved me, but him as well.

I stayed silent during their exchange bothered by what I was seeing. It didn't make sense. A wave of anger washed through me when I became enlightened by Jacob's thoughts.

"You still love her," I spoke in an accusatory tone.

He didn't even look at me. Jasper didn't even look surprised.

"Why?" I asked desperately. "You imprinted! I know you did!"

"I did," he said quietly still refusing to look me in the eye.

"You told her that you imprinted knowing that I'd come back to her," I vocalized his thoughts.

"She needed a resolution. What you did to her...she needed to deal with it," his eyes finally rose and met mine. They were filled with defiance. "She needed to be fixed and I knew only you could do it." A pang of guilt hit me at the thought of Bella so broken.

"I-"

"She'll come back to me you know." He interrupted. There was fire burning in his eyes. "She loves me."

"I know she does," I replied unwillingly.

"If...if you hadn't come back. If you had just stayed away," his voice choked out and I knew he was close to tears. His pride would keep him from crying in front of us though. "We would have been happy. She was fine before you came. We would have been happy, damn it! If you had just stayed away," he was shaking from grief. Jasper winced.

The guilt wracked up as I added another person to the list of people who I've made miserable because of my foolishness.

He took a deep breath. "I love her," he talked as if was holding that in. "I want her to be happy. I'm going to do what you didn't. I'm not going to go back to her. I'm not going to turn her world upside down and put her in the same position you did. _I_ am going to keep away so she can actually remain happy."

I didn't know what to say. I felt Jasper trying to make me feel better. He was worried that all this guilt would draw me back into the pitiful state I was in. I felt smaller than I ever had, but nothing could have been worse than my days without Bella.

"I'm not going to go back to her," he reiterated. "So just keep her safe. Please." I nodded a yes. Of course I would keep her safe.

I felt that he was done, so I turned with Jasper towards the door, but he spoke again.

"I'll be waiting," he said, resulting in me raising an eyebrow in question. "She'll come back to me. I know she will. I just want you to know that I'll be here waiting until she realizes it."

I didn't want to crush his hopes so I just continued walking out the door with Jasper.

We walked outside into the cool night. The stars were vibrant in La Push and there was a full moon in the sky. It loomed over us, so huge, it swathed us in a silvery light. Despite the beautiful scenery, the guilt still rolled off of me in waves and I knew it was enough to make Jasper uncomfortable.

"It's okay," he placed a hand on my shoulder reassuringly. "He still has a part of her. Bella left _something_ with Jacob."

Jasper offered nothing more than that. I knew he wasn't lying just to make me feel better, but I couldn't help but wonder at the last thought I caught from him before he said he'd run back to the house alone.

He was thinking '_He would have been better off..._'

**JPOV**

I watched out the window as the blond one ran off alone leaving Edward to get into his car alone with _her._

I couldn't bear to watch them together for long so I dragged myself back to my bed. I wouldn't be able to fight it off much longer.

I curled myself onto my bed into a fetal positionlike I had been doing all day. My body shook and I tried to pull myself as close together as possible. I didn't cry, but I doubt that it would have made much difference if I did. Darkness surrounded me and I seemed to feel so many things at once.

My heart pounded in my chest, every beat was like a wrecking ball. Even involuntary actions hurt. I felt a queasiness in my stomach. It wasn't hunger. I had already grown accustomed to it. It was like ball, but it always felt like it was growing more and more every second. A hole.

I plunged deeper and deeper in the blackness wondering who would pull me out of it. I thought of only one face who's smile could pull me back. I held on to that single ray of light, the only anchor I had left.

I had that only hope. I knew she would come back. She loved me, imprint or not. I just had to be patient. I just had to stay here. Waiting.

**A/N**

**Okay that's it I guess. Finally. This one got really long. Like I said, this story originally wasn't even supposed to involve Jake! Haha. Okay I probably will do a sequel, but I will post up the deets on the next chapter ****The Extras Chapter.****The sequel won't be very angsty. I got that out of my system now haha. The sequel will probably be a lot of fluff/comfort. A possible title I'm playing with is "Insecurities", if you can draw anything from that.  
**

**Preview. Haven't done one of these in a while, but I just started writing a scene I thought up in my head and I guess it would make a good preview for the sequel. It's unformatted and not really refined. It's just a rough draft because I haven't really put any thought to it. I just typed out what was in my head so I could remember my idea. It's not really important so you don't have to read it.  
**

_"It's okay Edward." "It's not like...you know..." He looked at me questioningly. "I mean...never mind it's stupid." - "No, what is it Bella?" I knew he was not going to let this go...no matter how much I wished he would. "It's just that I know it won't be as enjoyable for you..." My cheeks blushed harder and I had to fight the urge to cry. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. - "Bella, what on earth are you talking about?" He slowly caressed both of my arms in his hands, moving them up and down. He pulled me closer to him and I became highly aware of how each and every one of his muscles felt against my body. He looked at me with eyes filled with love, but deeper than that belied a gaze of insurmountable want...lust? "I would love nothing more than to ravish you," my body shivered at his choice of words. "You are exquisite, with a body that is every bit as amazing as that mysterious mind of yours. The truth is, Bella, you are quite sexy." I blushed even more furiously than before. Had I not been so impossibly in love with this man, the shimmering God calling me sexy might have seemed patronizing. I merely shook my head violently clearing away all of his sweet, yet biased notions. He grabbed my wrists which halted my movements. "Bella, love. Do you doubt my observations? I am merely restating...perhaps more eloquently, what I gleaned from the minds of every male in Forks...excluding Charlie of course." I was speechless for a while after his overwhelming flattery, but found my voice after I purposely drew my attention away from his eyes. "I know that if something does happen," I choked out. "You would be extra careful not to overstep any boundaries with me. You won't feel as mush as I feel because of my human limitations." - "Impossible. I love you, if you choose to share that moment with me, know that it would be every bit as special to me as it would be to you. Probably even more, though I doubt you'd believe that." He gave me a broad smile. He seemed to have all the answers. I just had one more doubt. "But still, are you sure you want to do this with me? You have been waiting over a hundred years. If it truly would be your first time...I just think it should be more meaningful for you. I wouldn't want to take away your first...your first..." Tears started streaming from my eyes and I lowered my head in attempt to hide them. The most frustrating part was that I didn't even know why I was crying. "With another vampire you would be able-" I didn't even get to finish my sentence. Edward had took me by my shoulders and shook me hard once. It wasn't a violent shove, but it sent enough shock to my system to stop me from what ever I was doing. -"Stop this now Isabella Swan. You are the only one I want. I don't know what or who put these horrid ideas in your head, but they're wrong." I redirected my gaze back at Edward. His eyes spoke to me. They were saying 'Bella you're hurting me.' I immediately felt remorse at making him so sad. I hated myself for letting my insecurities out. Instead off letting everything out and making myself feel better, I had made Edward feel worse. "Edward I'm sor-" He cut me off again. Edward placed his thumb on my cheek and wiped away the tears. He did so with both eyes. He stared at me intently before swooping down and implanting his lips on mine. He pushed down hard and he let his weight drag me down onto my bed with him._

**What are they talking about? Don't worry the story will be rated T.**


	27. ExTrAs

**A/N Okay, it's finally over. OH no! Haha, sorry it took so long to update. I sort of lost my steam. Okay there will be a sequel. It won't be as long and it will be all fluff/comfort. Bella is feeling very insecure because Edward left and she knows what it feels like to hurt. No one heals that fast. Edward needs to cement his relationship with Bella after what he did. How will he show her and make her believe that he is hers to keep?**

Okay, this time around it's going to be a little different. Down Below are the extras. it's all the ideas and my writing process for writing "One Hour". Bolded are the ideas I used and unbolded are the ideas I didn't. I didn't add in the ideas I had for the sequel and other stories for obvious reasons.

Oh yeah what's different? I have a lot of ideas. I'm not going to just stick to one story anymore. The angst train has left you know? I will be updating with different stories and the stories that have the best feed back will get top priority. I have the first, but short chapter of the sequel done already. **Go down for it.**

**EXTRAS**

"**Bella I love you. Please say you forgive me." He looked into to my eyes intently and made sure I wasn't looking away. I could feel my grip on reality fading. Was he trying to dazzle me? **

"**I..." I was about to slip about the words I knew he wanted to hear.**

_**NOOOOOO!! **_**Something screamed inside my head. How dare he try to ****_dazzle_ me. It all can't just go away. It's not supposed to be this easy. He can't do this to me. I tried to break from his hypnotic gaze. I had to say something else. Anything else just to keep from falling back into this trap.**

"**I hate you," I muttered before thinking.**

**  
EDWARD POINT OF VIEW FIRST!!**

_**"I'll stay as long as you'll have me. I love you Bella." He was on his knees now, his hands were outstretched begging me to take them.**_

_**"Edward I can't!" I had to turn away from him. I was breaking down. "Four months! Four months Edward! You left me here alone." I was crying mercilessly now but I couldn't look at him. I didn't want him to see me like this.**_

_**"I understand if you hate me." Edwards voice was so hurt, he was almost babbling like I was. I knew if I looked at his expression right now it would destroy me. "I promised it would be as if I never existed, I couldn't even do that much for you... I shouldn't have come Bella. I was stupid and weak, I don't know what I was thinking. I won't ever forgive myself for hurting you again."**_

_**I felt a cold wind and suddenly he was gone. "Don't leave me again," I whispered to myself, still sobbing. Before I knew Edwards arms were wrapped around me and his face was buried behind my neck. His whole body was was trembling not wanting to let me ago. I knew he was hurting just as much as I was, but still. **_

_**"It hurts Edward." I grabbed over my chest where my heart should be. "It hurts when you're not here. It hurts when you are. I don't know what to do." Edward tightened his hold on me. **_

**_"You broke me."_ _My voice was filled with all the pain of the long months before._**

**_The trembling stopped and I felt Edward's body stiffen behind me._ **

**Bellas, slaps edward. He goes with the flow used to being extra sensitive around her. She slaps him after he tells her how angry he his that alice came.**

**Jasper feels pain from the night of Edwards return. Alice tries desperately to comfort him. Then suddenly, he feels nothing. Cliffy.**

**Ending of some chapter. Cullens and la quilettes play baseball. Bella wants to play.**

"**So bella, which team are you on?"**

"**So Jake, Have you imprinted on me?"**

**In the truck, bella kisses Jacob passionately. Too passionately, Jacob stops her knowing that she is just doing it because of Edward. **

"**How could you say those things to me Edward...That I was just a distraction, that you never loved me. You knew how much you meant to me, You know that I had always thought I wasn't good enough for you. How could you just take it all away from me...**

**The next day, Jake realizes he must let her go. He talks with Sam.**

**Jake leaves Bella – She loves eddie too much. She never calls him when Edward is there. She calls with the other cullens. She feels safe only with Jacob, w/o him she feels empty. Only Edward can fix her to make her feel whole all the time. **

**Bella - "You ruined everything!" (after Jake breaks up with her, she finds the pictures under her floorboard and cries)**

**Yet, you still left me.**

"**I understand but how_ could_ you?. I loved you Edward. Did I not love you enough?"**

**Jacob did imprint. Still loves Bella more. Sees that she's happy with Edward. Keeps away because he doesn't want to hurt her. **

"**I wish you could tell me that you have been watching over me. I wish I could hear that you were'nt just gone that hole time. That you loved me too much to stay away!"**

**"If I had caught even a single glimpse of you Bella, do you honestly believe that I would have been able to stay away?"**

**"Maybe that's why! Maybe I wished that you would have come back to me."**

**Masochistic notion that you don't deserve to be happy. I made you happy. I thought I did.**

**During the argument, bella mentions her insecurity because Edward leaves. Edward catches on to this and that's why he doesn't leave.**

**He stared at me like he was going to kiss me. He moved in slowly to give me time to pull away if I wanted to. I wasn't sure if Ii did. I was thinking way too much, unlike any other kiss. Was a betraying Jake?**

**Bella asks Jasper to take all the feelings away.** **He complies, ignoring alice. **

**Please no, don't make me. Don't do this.**

"**I just can't believe your're really here"**

**Edward stares at Bella.**

B**ella doesn't know why Edward loves her.**

**Edward is sad. Bella's heart reacts differently around Edward. It thumps loudly once, not patter**

**Edward reads Jake's mind. Sees that he loves Bella more than the imprint. Gets mad/sad. **

**  
Jasper goes with Edward to see jake. He wants to thank Jake too.**

Jake also leaves Bella because he's scared. He's scared that someday he might wake up and love some other girl more. He can't risk hurting her like that.

**He loves her and does what Edward couldn't do.**

Bella thinks he just loves her because of her smell. Love at first sight. Same thing.

Bella cuts herself. "Eat me damn it!" She splatters the blood on his face.

**Edward- "Thank you Jacob Black"**

**Jake - "For what?"**

**Edward - "You gave me Bella."**

**Jasper - "He still has a part of her left. Something he took from Bella."**

**A/N ****Sorry about the long extras. I just felt the need to put on my ideas. Here is the sequel. **

The Sequel is "The Heart of Symmetry"


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